IRL over Online

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 10, 2012 9:52 PM GMT
    So I was talking to this guy that I met online that i was really interested i.
    But he unfortunately lived hundreds miles away.
    He constantly wanted to talk online, but I didn't want to talk all the time since I might be moving close to where he lives, and if we would ever meet, I don't wanna know everything about him since we've talked several hours online.
    And when I said that to him, he took it pretty offensive.

    Was I acting like a real bitch or did he overreact? icon_surprised.gif
  • jboy84

    Posts: 556

    Jan 10, 2012 10:03 PM GMT
    Lol. Whilst I'm sure you were being genuine and thinking rationally, I think anyone would take that comment as a straight forward "I don't want to talk to you, I just don't want to be a bitch about it"
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    Jan 10, 2012 10:16 PM GMT
    I've always been a fan of being honest. You could talk online for hours, many days, build up expectations, and then meeting in real life could lack that same spark. Not trying to be a downer, but I think being straightforward and honest is the best approach in these situations.
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    Jan 10, 2012 10:20 PM GMT
    ur not wrong at all dear .. u were just being safe icon_smile.gif .. so chill ull make many more frns icon_smile.gificon_smile.gif
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    Jan 10, 2012 10:22 PM GMT
    Talking with someone for weeks, months, or even years online can lead to a sort of "calcification" - the relationship is defined by its "onlinenes" in a way and can lead to it never translating into the real world well when you meet, so in that regard you have a point.

    That being said it seems you handled it a bit crassly. If you don't want to talk just don't make yourself available online, it's not that hard.
  • jpk090

    Posts: 71

    Jan 10, 2012 10:40 PM GMT
    I agree with what everyone's said, but I also believe that you have to take your chances when it comes to this sort of thing.

    If you like the guy enough, then you should continue talking to him... When you meet in person, you should still be about to learn new things about each other and have something to talk about. After all, how do couples stay together for years? There's always something new. And everything changes in person, anyway.

    And like Ariodante said, if you're really that worried, make yourself less available. But if you like the guy, don't be SO unavailable that he thinks you're uninterested or a lost cause.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 15, 2012 9:50 AM GMT
    You can never learn everything about someone talking online or in person.