LOVE or LUST by nickjoe

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    Feb 23, 2007 2:13 PM GMT
    what is, that we really want to find.a loving relation or a lustfull one?
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    Feb 23, 2007 2:58 PM GMT
    Lust is the want of the body, Love is the want of the mind.

    I suppose it depends on which one your listening to.
  • dreamer

    Posts: 91

    Feb 23, 2007 3:11 PM GMT
    Ultimately what we are after is a ssense of oneness. Lust can satisfy that need for connection momentarilyl. But true love, the antithesis of emptiness and alienataion, can only be found within. We are already whole if allow ourselves to be still enough to recognize that basic truth.
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    Feb 23, 2007 3:27 PM GMT
    dreamer , of course , love have to be inside oneself , other wise , how can we give it, and surf ; yes, it depend on which, you choose to listen too,,,,now tell me ,you 2 ,, which are you searching for?
  • dreamer

    Posts: 91

    Feb 23, 2007 3:29 PM GMT
    I seek neither love nor lust. I seek to be whole, which is tantamount to peace.
  • dreamer

    Posts: 91

    Feb 23, 2007 3:34 PM GMT
    But let me say this: our bodies will pass into dust, but LOVE is immortal. Love never ends. So in a sense we all seek love that we may partake of timeless immortality.
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    Feb 23, 2007 3:41 PM GMT
    For me, i can fulfill lustful desires with some of the boys at the gym. But I would prefer a loving long term relationship. I am an optimist and believe that there is someone out there for everyone. True love is out there for whoever believes in it and is seeking it. You just gotta have a little faith! But in the end, it all depends on what you are looking for.
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Feb 23, 2007 3:52 PM GMT
    Hi Guys

    I believe it's all about compromise and being realistic about life.

    We all surely want a relationship that is based on lust and on love, but the reality can be very different.

    I believe that lust is something that can fade with time, whilst love is more enduring.

    Being in a relationship is never how you imagine it to be, as you get older you realise that the things you sweated in your teens and 20s mean nothing really, and that being with someone who loves you and who you love means everything.

    Who knows if we will all find the 'one', but at least we can have fun looking.
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    Feb 23, 2007 6:20 PM GMT
    me, hmm, both give themselves to the ying yang principle, without one you can't have the other, and to accept both is to accept the endless realms of possibilities.

    Me i'm looking for that balance, having tipped my scale over the edge on either side.

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    Feb 23, 2007 6:21 PM GMT
    so then let me ask this ,,,are we really open to find a lustfull relation or a loving one , and how do we dicide when is knocking at the door , to open or ignore it?
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    Feb 23, 2007 6:35 PM GMT
    Well if you look at a ying yang symbol you'll see thats theres a small but from each side in the other, so if want either of those relationships i feel you must understand that neither are mutually exclusive.

    So trying to find both is the ideal. theres no reason why you can't love and lust in the same relationship, if fact i think thats what i yearn for.

    As for knowing if its there, i'll admit it takes patience and practise, altho sometimes it can appear with out notice, sometimes it takes a settling in your own head of your own mind for it to appear in front of you,

    And for opening the door, well, if the bell rings and you don't answer whats the point in having a bell? (soppy and preachy, but hey i'm on a roll)

    Life is for living, not for waiting around and watching it pass by.

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    Feb 23, 2007 9:18 PM GMT
    I feel it depends on the situation your in. I've been the person who wanted a relationship, but he only wanted sex. It hurt, but you can't force someone into loving you. Of course, I've also been in the reverse. There are times when the feelings are mutual, whether lust or love, but I'm still working on making love last longer. I'm looking for a loving relationship, I can take care of the lust myself.
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    Feb 24, 2007 6:34 PM GMT
    LUST or LOVE?
    I was in love with a guy once and lust was a matter of time - it felt great!
    Nowadays i believe that lust is a matter of moral disorder - love yourself and the stuff that surrounds you and you will not feel ashamed. Ok ok, i'm southern european, LOL.
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    Feb 25, 2007 4:53 AM GMT
    To lighten this thread and to quote/paraphrase Matt Groening:
    Love is a snowmobile speeding across the arctic tundra. Suddenly, it flips and you are pinned under it. That night, the snow weasels came.
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    Feb 25, 2007 8:49 PM GMT
    Hey Nickjoe, We all want the best of both worlds, a human fundamental need is feeling and being loved. Once you can love freely and uncontionally and have the same in return from your partner, you have it made. If your partner has a sense of humour and not hung up about sex, "lust" between two lovers is the frosting on the cake. I guess, I hit the jack pot with my guy. If I would have to choose love it would be. I can always teach my man to be lustful.

    "You can't teach someone to love."
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    Feb 26, 2007 9:09 PM GMT
    Love and lust are both biological. Some people have more oxytocin than others. You've heard of those women who murder their children? I'm guessing they're pretty low on oxytocin.
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    Feb 26, 2007 11:30 PM GMT
    hey ,all of you, have very good insights,its really nice, to see it showing,,as, for me; i have been in both type of relations,and at this point in my life iam going for more mental eroticm.,,,wich by the way ,,,it will be nice to heard your opinions on that
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Feb 27, 2007 12:18 AM GMT
    Well, in a perfect world...I wish I could have both...with one person...

    ...a relationship were the individual is emotionally supportive to my goals, successes, and heartbreaks and at the same time...

    ...we have moments were we glance over and can't keep our hands off each other...

    Of course, this is all in moderation...

    too supportive = caretaking/codependent
    too lustful = exhausting

    - David

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    Feb 27, 2007 3:40 AM GMT
    Love first... and last.

    Lust is but a path to love. Love doesn't have to mean lifetime attachment; hopefully it lasts long enough for people to know it. Otherwise, the lust only leads to more longing and endless thirst.



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    Feb 27, 2007 1:04 PM GMT
    I seek BOTH as part of my daily balance to build/feed my body, mind and spirit. The outcome varies.

    When I am mindful of - and grateful for - yesterday's gifts, I am open to whatever today brings. The less I try to manage things like 'lust' and 'love,' the better my day turns out.

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    Feb 28, 2007 6:40 AM GMT
    I think the question implies a lot, like love and lust are equal but opposite, like you can't have both or they are real things in the first place.

    Personally, I am impressed with anyone who can put up with my shit.

    When we look at these things (love and lust) closely I think that we see they are not what we made them out to be in the first place. We have loaded them with so much baggage, expectations mostly, that they are not even necessarily in the real world.

    For those of us in love, is it everything we thought it would be? For those of us looking at a great hook-up (at best), or teasing ourselves with hot eye candy, what do we think we are going to do when done, after we got off?

    I like what dreamer said about oneness. He sort of took the thought to a new level. But by oneness I hope he doesn't mean he wants to borrow my new Bulgari sunglasses.
  • MisterT

    Posts: 1272

    Mar 10, 2007 5:12 AM GMT
    I prefer to lust after the body of the person I love.

    I have loved people who I didn't lust after, and lusted after guys I didn't love, but the best was when I loved the guy and lusted after him, and it was mutual.

    If it's just one or the other, I would want love, it generally lasts longer and is more than skin deep for me.

    My two cents
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    Mar 10, 2007 4:50 PM GMT
    i am seeing this guy, i met here on the site,he is bi,and just got married 9 months ago,its just a lustfull relation,he might stop by , a few times a week,we talk very little but the sex is unbelivable,wont go into details ,but trust me , totally awesome,and the thing about it is that, the least we talk or get to know things about each other ,has turn into a totall turn on,the only thing that we really comunicated about is how intense,the sex is and how we keep thinking about each other during the week, hey,,,nothing but sexual thoughts,,this is a totall lust ,nothing else ......and hot as hell