I’m just gonna vent

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2008 4:21 AM GMT
    So, I’ve been on vacation. LOVE IT. I came to this site to meet guys and get work out advice.
    I am getting the work out advice. It’s kind-a nice cause now I have a 9 pack and just need to find the 10th. ;)
    I have met two amazing guys on here. I’ve pretty much have fallen in love with you “TH” and I think that you are a really great guy “I”.

    But you know, I have to admit, the rest of the fish that are taking my bait…aren’t worthy of a fish tank. You know, it’s old. I get enough of this just going to work and living. What makes it appropriate to say “I’ll be in town, I want to hook up with you”? What makes “Damn, you hot!” romantic?

    Is chivalry pretty much just alive in a handful of people?

    I almost feel this is going to fall on many deaf ears, but what is wrong with people? I have had it easy cause I got lucky. (people think I am hot) But then when I go out with my absolute best friends, they get snubbed over and treated so disrespectfully. Can someone just explain to me why my best friends are ignored or shot down? And then can someone explain why I am treated like some item to be used?
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    Jun 21, 2008 4:29 AM GMT
    Bunny sad
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    Jun 21, 2008 5:50 AM GMT
    Sorry, but I don't quite understand the nature of your problem.

    Are you upset for your friends because they're being ignored because you're so hot? Or are you annoyed cos guys are not treating you like a real lady?
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    Jun 21, 2008 7:56 AM GMT
    I think he is upset that our sexual acts are not more lasting... like wutever happened to getting to know someone irst... or actually knowing there name.

    I'm young, away at college most of the year and yeah, there is a lot o meaningless sex going on, me included... But I guess we can wish or more...

    Hope the bunny has stopped crying.
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    Jun 21, 2008 9:06 AM GMT
    You poor dear. It gets better in your 30's.
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Jun 21, 2008 9:58 AM GMT
    Yes RB, stop whinging and chill out.

    Your post sounds like this..

    "I'm hot and people keep hitting on me...boo hoo.

    I'm hot, and why can't people be romantic...boo hoo."

    This sort of talks makes you sound self-centred, and gets very tired, very quickly.

    Why don't you just enjoy life, and ignore the bits of it that offend you? Life is really too short to sweat this stuff.

    If you don't want people to hit on you then hide your profile or use different pics. It ain't rocket science.

    Loz
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    Jun 21, 2008 9:59 AM GMT
    RubyBlueWhat makes it appropriate to say “I’ll be in town, I want to hook up with you”? What makes “Damn, you hot!” romantic?


    Oh! Chivalry? icon_biggrin.gif

    The stellar fires pale in the presence of your conflagration! You burn so brightly, I am blinded and my heart melts into hot magma that flows within me; churning my insides with the furious flames of passion only you can quench.

    Translated to Peasant talk: “Damn, you hot!”

    In my brief sojourn in thy realm, you have captured my imagination and set flight to my fantasies. I long to feel your lips upon mine, your breath on my skin. Let me know what heaven is for one night, my fair lord. Let us journey together to the plains of bliss from gloaming till the flames of the phoenix reawakening. 'Neath the bow of Artemis I will shoot my arrows of pleasure upon the haunches of the magnificent stag that you are. And this lance will weep tears of pleasure, that sweet ambrosia, opalescent in the approving radiance of the moon. Let us share this benediction together. Send thy heralds with haste, I know not how long I can stand this yearning...

    Translated to Peasant talk: “I’ll be in town, I want to hook up with you”
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jun 21, 2008 12:53 PM GMT
    RubyBlue said

    But you know, I have to admit, the rest of the fish that are taking my bait…aren’t worthy of a fish tank. You know, it’s old. I get enough of this just going to work and living. What makes it appropriate to say “I’ll be in town, I want to hook up with you”? What makes “Damn, you hot!” romantic?

    I have had it easy cause I got lucky. (people think I am hot) But then when I go out with my absolute best friends, they get snubbed over and treated so disrespectfully. Can someone just explain to me why my best friends are ignored or shot down? And then can someone explain why I am treated like some item to be used?


    It's all about the hook-up and getting the hottest guy you can
    Some of the other guys are going to shoot you down for being (ahem) shallow
    but I hear what you're saying. Guys seem to think because you have a profile they can say anything and that you'll get back to them when they do icon_confused.gif
    Even worse... if you have a profile
    and you happen to be in their vicinity that you'll def meet up with them icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2008 1:05 PM GMT
    Well Rubyblue I can't disagree with you. Just remember that gay guys (and guys in general) vary considerably in terms of their sexual behaviour. Some guys are very driven sexually and need a lot of it. They want a relationship but it is not the first thing on their mind. Other guys are more relationship oriented and will turn down casual sex even if the guy is "hot". I fall into the second category as did my brother. His son is the same way (genetics?). It is not because we could not get laid either (especially my brother who has been a favourite with the women).

    Don't be too upset if you bump into guys that want to get you in bed. You are good looking and they are reacting to that. They actually could be potentially good friends if you say thanks but no thanks and they take that well (some don't).

    As for your friends, I agree men can be very cruel in an unintentional way. They react strongly to the visual. There are a lot of straight women who would appreciate your friend's frustrations.
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    Jun 21, 2008 4:25 PM GMT
    Have the rude messages been your typical experience here or are you just giving them more significance than you should?

    I think it's unfortunate that some people see you as a hot piece of meat to be conquered and can't be more respectful toward you, but I hope those are the exceptions. Most of the guys I've interacted with here are good people - smart, thoughtful, and considerate.

    I've gotten messages from a couple that were just looking for a hookup. I ignore it and forget about it. There are a few jerks no matter where you go.
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    Jun 21, 2008 4:50 PM GMT
    RubyBlue saidSo, I’ve been on vacation. LOVE IT. I came to this site to meet guys and get work out advice.
    I am getting the work out advice. It’s kind-a nice cause now I have a 9 pack and just need to find the 10th. ;)
    I have met two amazing guys on here. I’ve pretty much have fallen in love with you “TH” and I think that you are a really great guy “I”.

    But you know, I have to admit, the rest of the fish that are taking my bait…aren’t worthy of a fish tank. You know, it’s old. I get enough of this just going to work and living. What makes it appropriate to say “I’ll be in town, I want to hook up with you”? What makes “Damn, you hot!” romantic?

    Is chivalry pretty much just alive in a handful of people?

    I almost feel this is going to fall on many deaf ears, but what is wrong with people? I have had it easy cause I got lucky. (people think I am hot) But then when I go out with my absolute best friends, they get snubbed over and treated so disrespectfully. Can someone just explain to me why my best friends are ignored or shot down? And then can someone explain why I am treated like some item to be used?


    Glad you are on vacation and it is going well. So then, may I ask, why are you on here?? Vacation is a time to get away! lol

    Well for one, I am not a fish. They are smelly and scaly. I prefer to be a crab.

    I have also notice a lack of chivalry on here.. or for that matter, a lack of sociability. I like to talk to people and get to know them and so far, I feel as I am pulling teeth with a few of them. It makes me want to throw whipped pies in their faces! Lighten up!

    Now you have lost me on this part. Why do your friend get treated so disrespectfully? Because they don't share the same physical qualities as you? Or are people ignoring them to just get at you? And who are you targeting with that statement? People in general or the gay community?

    Sadly, if you are an attractive guy, gay men tend to put you on a pedestal. Well, the shallow ones anyways. They haven't evolved beyond the point of "(drools) OMG, he is sooooo hot!" But hey guy, don't give up. There are people out there that treat others with just as much respect as your fellow man (or woman) regardless of looks or otherwise. The problem is sifting through the glass to find the gems.
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    Jun 21, 2008 5:24 PM GMT
    funny-pictures-black-cat-white-cat.jpg

    RubyBlue, seriously you're 21, relax!! Continue to enjoy your vacation, continue to build your friendships, have fun with life and all that it has to offer. As for THAT guy, why in your 20's would you even want to consider being "tied down"?!?!? Build and work on yourself and your network of family and friends and he will SURELY come around!
    And when you're a good looking male species, you're going get attention and at times in gonna be in ways that you may not care for, yet nonetheless it's attention; be thankful and grateful that you're getting any at all. As for your friends, when it's all said and done, everyone needs to fend for themselves. So, man up and enjoy life! Relax a bit!
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    Jun 21, 2008 7:16 PM GMT
    Hahaha I know exactly what you are going through. On you profile it said you are taking time off from school well for lack of a better words find yourself. And that is a rough road to travel. Hell! I am doing it right now. And you end up over thinking everything! Every choice in your life, the people around you, your choice in men, the world, your family, the gay community, and humanity.

    I saw also on your profile that you just want to help people. That is why I am studying psychology. But I feel like jesus you can only help people who want to get help and fuck so many dont want to change! So finding yourself is such a long and hard process and so much about life will make you mad, insecure, tired, and just frankly pissed off at everyone..... But you will find your place soon... I guess... I hope LOL! because I haven't found mine yet but Im trying my hardest to
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Jun 21, 2008 7:54 PM GMT
    Yes Chivalry is dead. The woman's liberation movement buried it ages ago when they decided they could do it for themselves.
    More power to them.

    and why do ppl look at you like you are a t/f ool? well maybe look at the image you are projecting. Try projecting something less shallow, and the responses you get will be in kind.
  • atxclimber

    Posts: 480

    Jun 21, 2008 8:33 PM GMT
    You know, it's interesting. I've been talking to a friend of mine lately (who firmly believes that I am attractive and he is not -- he's wrong; he's quite handsome, and I'm trying to get him to believe it) about how being physically attractive doesn't actually make for any fewer problems, but it DOES make for less SYMPATHETIC problems.

    Seriously, it's like someone rich complaining about the ennui of constant comfort. It's like, well BOO HOO, sucks you have SO MUCH MONEY.

    But you know, I have a few friends who have huge inheritances to look forward to and it really does cause them some strife. Robs them of a certain amount of motivation to excel and strive, etc. But it's just not a sympathetic thing to complain about.

    Now, on this site, I'm nowhere near the top of the ranks, there are a whole lot of smoking hot guys on here. But I'm not unattractive, and I can empathize to a certain extent.

    I think hot girls have it the worst -- my friend, the one who doesn't believe he's handsome, was a consultant for a while and so would do work on his laptop from a Starbucks near his house. He said one of the girls who worked there was just stunning, amazingly beautiful, but had this icy cold disposition. He got to know her a bit and she warmed up, but her friends told him, "She's been like that since high school -- she's constantly bombarded by guys who want only to get in her pants."

    That's a pretty miserable existence, living so guarded because your experience is that people are just going to proposition you left and right.

    A number of years ago I weighed a good 30-40lbs more than I do right now and had far less muscle, and never had that problem at all. As I've gotten in better shape over time I've definitely found some of that -- I tend to flinch a little bit when a guy just approaches me, because usually the ones forward enough to strike up a conversation are also frequently douche bags.

    Now, that said, I've never found myself in a situation where I couldn't find guys who were totally uninterested in me, so it helps keep me humble.

    RubyBlue, I'd say just filter that out, don't even respond to the douche bag messages, they're just an inevitable fact of life. Complaining about it in a thread, frankly, does make you look a little unsympathetic, but like I said, just because it's an unsympathetic problem doesn't mean it isn't a legitimate bother for you.

    Send messages to the guys you find uber-hot on here and wait for the inevitable, occasional polite rejection, and let that help keep you humble. Then maybe you'll appreciate the legions of adoring -- albeit vulgar & grammatically inept -- fans.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2008 8:36 PM GMT
    stop-whining_small.jpg
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    Jun 21, 2008 8:59 PM GMT
    JustJohn saidYou poor dear. It gets better in your 30's.


    But then wait for your 40s, when all your youth is gone.
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    Jun 21, 2008 9:38 PM GMT
    Heh, heh, Pattison, yes.

    You're young, beautiful, and wondering what it all means. When you're 40 these introspections will fade away. Live with the joy of being hot...I'm sure it won't go to your head.

    I don't feel for you, though. I would have been someone in your circle of friends who gets ignored. At your age, that bothered me, but at 40, I barely care. So I'm sure your friends will be fine. Just be sure to take care of them and remain a friend...it will pay off.

    By the way, your sensitivity to those lacking chivalry is probably inversely proportional to their hotness. I think the person apt to use a crude solicitation is also probably the most insecure, and you may want to tread lighter on them.