making the house parent-safe

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 12, 2012 5:34 AM GMT
    So, I just got a call from the Mom, informing me that she will be arriving on the morrow and staying for the weekend. I'll have to get up a bit early and prepare the house. I can't believe that I'm still doing that at my age icon_rolleyes.gif

    So: Turn on the heat and make up a bed in the guest room. Exchange the dish of condoms and lube for some pretty rocks or something. Empty out the sex-toy drawer and put... hand towels or some shit in there. Bring some flowers in from the greenhouse. Get a rain-check on a date. That's about it, really.

    So... what do you need to do to make your place parent-safe? How much advance notice do you need?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 12, 2012 5:57 AM GMT
    mindgarden saidSo, I just got a call from the Mom, informing me that she will be arriving on the morrow and staying for the weekend. I'll have to get up a bit early and prepare the house. I can't believe that I'm still doing that at my age icon_rolleyes.gif

    So: Turn on the heat and make up a bed in the guest room. Exchange the dish of condoms and lube for some pretty rocks or something. Empty out the sex-toy drawer and put... hand towels or some shit in there. Bring some flowers in from the greenhouse. Get a rain-check on a date. That's about it, really.

    So... what do you need to do to make your place parent-safe? How much advance notice do you need?


    I'm broke, so I like to scatter tip jars around the apartment. I'm not a subtle person.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 12, 2012 1:26 PM GMT
    Well, if they arrived today it would be as ghosts, and so they probably could see anything I hid away anyhow. Like my partner's 12-inch-tall cowboy & leather dolls with their oversized stiffies, that he bitches about when I insist we put them away when the cleaning lady comes here. I honestly don't think her duties should include dusting their dreadful dicks.

    But when my parents did visit me years ago, especially my Father who'd come by himself to check out any new Army or Air Force installation to which I'd recently been assigned, it was more a matter of what to put out than to hide. I'd have to remember what gifts they had given me, and make sure they were prominently displayed, and in daily use if something with a practical purpose.

    And when I wasn't in my uniform to wear all the civilian shirts they'd bought me, that normally I wouldn't put on in the dark of night. Believe me they'd remember every single item, and they'd ask me: "Robert, where's that lovely blue shirt we got you at Christmas?" And I'd bite my tongue, wanting to reply: "It's not lovely Dad, it's lousy. I'm keeping it until my sixties, though, when it might be a better match for my wardrobe."

    And also to buy all the grocery items from a list they'd have sent ahead of them, so my kitchen would be pre-stocked with the things they liked. Their bathroom supplied, too, since they wouldn't fly with toiletries that might spill in their luggage. But fortunately they always gave me plenty of lead time before arriving.

    Yet for all that I really did like to see them, and as I moved up in rank I could see their pride at the way the military would have signs put on the Officer quarters doors, painted with our name and rank. Some quite large & beautiful homes I was given, allaying their fears I was still living out of a duffle bag in a barracks, like when I first joined, my parents maybe no longer quite so ashamed & angry at the coarse career I had chosen against their wishes. But I never could lose the feeling that these were not so much family visits as inspection tours.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 12, 2012 1:36 PM GMT
    Unless your parents have a reason to go into your room in your own house then I don't see what the problem is? It's your house/apt and you shouldn't have to put on a show just because your mom is visiting. Seems you just need to learn how to keep a guest friendly house when having people over no matter who they are.

    I need no advanced notice if my folks where to come visit. It's MY house and it's kept clean and inviting to my liking. Something to do with how I was raised I suppose. You always keep the living/dining room, the kitchen and the bathrooms clean because these are the most frequently places in house/apt that people are in. Plus why wouldn't you keep these places clean?

    Your personal room should be clean too if you plan on entertaining there. If you feel like you have to start hiding stuff or making a big deal out of cleaning your house/apt when folks come by then you probably have a problem. You should always feel like a king in your castle and your guests (no matter who they are) should respect how you decide to keep it and respect your privacy. If they can't do that then there's always a motel.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 12, 2012 1:39 PM GMT
    My parents would never stay in my primary residence, but not because of porn, lube or rubbers. Family and in-laws are welcome in the weekend home, but that's only because my partner allows it. I'm simply too old and jaded to give a shit, and I prefer not having to tip-toe around my own home while family sleeps, or run downstairs to the basement bathroom to take a shit or jerk off.

    If my parents ever started rummaging through my drawers, then they had best not bring anything to my attention. My parents didn't tolerate me going through their personal things when I was living under their roof, so it goes without saying that I wouldn't tolerate it from them.

    My advice: put her up in a hotel. If you can't afford it, tell her to pay for it. If she can't afford it, then go visit her now or wait until you have the time and money to visit her.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 12, 2012 1:41 PM GMT

    Personally, I would stash anything out in the open... like, erm, the bong on display on the bar. But otherwise, if they're gonna go snooping through drawers, my laptop, etc., then what they discover is on them. I'll take no responsibility for emotional distress they may experience including fainting.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 12, 2012 2:01 PM GMT
    I would need no time at all. These days dad's in his 80s and not coming down to visit and mom & step-father are dead, so not a lot of preparation requried. They used to visit back in my dinner party days and for a lot of years while mom was widowed she stayed many weekends with me.

    I never did anything different to prepare for them. They're my parents. They kind of know me already. Even if I was gay enough to have sex toys, my parents were pretty progressive. They took massage classes to know how to comfort each other. They did group therapy. Learned meditation. And if their cocktail conversation was any indication, I'm pretty sure they had sex too. We were all pretty comfortable in our skin. So no fussing for family.

    But I understand all too well the sentiment. I had a good friend who, knowing he was dying, cleared his home of anything he thought his family might later be embarrassed to find. And he did a great job accept for one slight oversight which I learned about when I received a phone call from his sister one night after the death, asking me about video she found on his computer of him camming his erection to one of his online acquaintences. Ooops.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 12, 2012 2:04 PM GMT
    DJBoston said
    Personally, I would stash anything out in the open... like, erm, the bong on display on the bar. But otherwise, if they're gonna go snooping through drawers, my laptop, etc., then what they discover is on them. I'll take no responsibility for emotional distress they may experience including fainting.

    hehehe... Well, as I wrote above, for me it was more a case of putting stuff out for display, gifts they had given me but were not quite to my taste, shall we say (or fucking hideous, shall we really say). icon_razz.gif

    And a few times I did have to put them in a hotel, or Army guest quarters where those were available, when my own assigned quarters were inadequate for them. But actually I didn't like doing that, as I had no problem with them being under my roof, they were surprisingly well behaved for parents. I had no sense that they ever snooped around, the only things in those days that might have shocked them being my Playgirl magazines that were kept in my bedroom bottom drawer.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 12, 2012 2:12 PM GMT
    If my parents rummaged through drawers, they're asking to find things they strongly suspect I have but have never confirmed haha.

    The guest room though is always nice. No one really goes in there except for the dog.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 12, 2012 4:49 PM GMT
    Make sure there are no Blue Ray / DVD's in your player. Your Mom might grab your remote to try to find her show and go hitting the wrong button and have your fav vid start playing... Been there... she was not amused... Dad blushed, too.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 12, 2012 5:33 PM GMT
    Oh, good call. I'd better get out the ugly "commemorative plate" and Mom's art class painting that she gave me.

    The "cleansing" is mostly because of how the guest room was set up for the previous guests.

    And yeah, last time she stayed, Mom was a bit surprised by some of the selections in my netflix queue, but it appears that she watched a couple of them anyway icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 12, 2012 5:46 PM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidLOL,,, your situation is funny, but then it does remind me, many a gay man that has "company" over tends to use a guest room in their house to do their "entertaining" vs. their own bedroom for a variety of reasons.
    As far as parent, neighbor or family proofing my home, the work is already done.
    The sex items in my home are probably kept where my parents had them in their home when I was a wee-squirt. Near the bed in a drawer. As a horny man,, I may have one little stash, hidden near my TV chair in the bedroom, but other than that..
    it's company ready all the time.
    My guest bedroom is set up for only family members or out of town friends.
    More comfy than any hotel but not set up for them to bring in strangers.

    I did laugh at the idea of her finding your Toy Chest!
    What the....!...icon_redface.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gif


    OP: Pictures please of the toys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 12, 2012 5:46 PM GMT
    Stash away all the good wine and get a boxed wine for the fridge.