Jan 13, 2012 9:57 AM GMT
Eric James Borges, Gay Teen Filmmaker, Commits Suicide One Month After Producing 'It Gets Better' Video
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/12/eric-james-borges-gay-teen-filmmaker-death_n_1203123.html
Eric James Borges, Gay Teen Filmmaker, Commits Suicide One Month After Producing 'It Gets Better' Video
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Jan 13, 2012 9:57 AM GMT
Eric James Borges, Gay Teen Filmmaker, Commits Suicide One Month After Producing 'It Gets Better' Video
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/12/eric-james-borges-gay-teen-filmmaker-death_n_1203123.html -
Jan 13, 2012 3:09 PM GMTFuck! His eyes say everything!
He should not have made that video yet--didn't anyone around him see any red flags?
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Jan 13, 2012 3:28 PM GMTIf only he had more people like his professor in his life. I lay the blame of this directly at the feet of his parents and of the administration and the congregation of their church. This is dreadful. -
Jan 13, 2012 3:52 PM GMTThere are no words... -
Jan 13, 2012 4:04 PM GMTnooooooo...... -
Jan 13, 2012 4:08 PM GMTSo tragic.. -
Jan 13, 2012 4:10 PM GMTwhy do all these gays that made these "it gets better" videos go on to kill themselves? i think this is the third gay that has created a video and then committed suicide. wouldn't that just give other gays the impression that it doesn't get better?
i mean, if i backed out of suicide after watching this video because i am convinced that it gets better and then i find out the dude kills himself i would be like "WTF? i thought it gets better! i guess not. it aint hanging around for shit. time for me to go." -
Jan 13, 2012 4:11 PM GMTHERE IS WHAT I POSTED ON FACEBOOK ABOUT THIS:.
Wednesday- After I heard
Could happen anywhere. it still doesnt take out the fact that kids are still feeling depressed and esteems are low. when your government, and a lot you see on tv tell you that who you are is wrong. At such young age, you start thinking all kinds of things in your head. Depression is something serious and leads to suicides.
This Morning-
I read more of that article today (so sad) and I can hear and feel the pain in his voice in the video that he made before he died. Its sad, although we want everyone to be strong and even with the strongest support some decide to give up because they are depressed. I have seen a new form of abuse its from masculine gay men to guys who are more effeminate then they are inside of the gay community. We need to embrace our fellow brothers and sisters and give our full support. If not, we will continue to lose them and they will feel even more helpless
RIP ERIC.... You will never have to hear anyone else call you "Faggot" Because of cases like yours, I will raise my kids and young love ones to love and demand love and to protect them from world as much as possible. -
Jan 13, 2012 4:14 PM GMTAvadaKedavra saidwhy do all these gays that made these "it gets better" videos go on to kill themselves? i think this is the third gay that has created a video and then committed suicide. wouldn't that just give other gays the impression that it doesn't get better?
This is my thought exactly. I don't mean to be rude but it's a bit ironic (I'm probably using it incorrectly) when people make a "It gets better"-video and go ahead and commit suicide. -
Jan 13, 2012 4:16 PM GMTbuddha_the_god said
AvadaKedavra saidwhy do all these gays that made these "it gets better" videos go on to kill themselves? i think this is the third gay that has created a video and then committed suicide. wouldn't that just give other gays the impression that it doesn't get better?
This is my thought exactly. I don't mean to be rude but it's a bit ironic (I'm probably using it incorrectly) when people make a "It gets better"-video and go ahead and commit suicide.
As true of a fact this may be... the end result was still someone taking their life.. So there is a grave problem , if thats the end result! no matter how you look at it! -
Jan 13, 2012 4:23 PM GMTWhen I see things like this happen, it breaks my heart. I remember when I was completing my residency, I ran in to so many patients who had, for lack of a better term, been "tortured" by parents who tried religious things to attempt to "cure" their homosexual children. The damage of these perceived interventions can often times be devasting and long lasting. I would assume that this young man did his video in an effort to abrogate some of the lingering negative effects from those traumatic experiences at the hands of those he trusted the most--his parents, particularly his mother. I can only hope that knowledge and education will, over time, change the reality for young homosexuals so that these kinds of things do not happen again. -
Jan 13, 2012 4:23 PM GMTAs an individual who has has suicidal ideations in the past, I can speak to several points:
1. If someone is going to kill themselves, they will find a way no matter what.
2. The best way to prevent suicide is stop it before it happens. Intervention by family, friends and loved ones under the guidance of trained professionals followed by a comprehensive, sustained regimen of therapy, medication and intensive case management. It's not a quick or cheap process.
3. Blaming people, telling the suicidal individual that it's a "cowards way out" or that he or she is selfish will only make the situation worse.
4. Sometimes not even Step 2 will be successful. The reality is people will kill themselves. Its a sad facet of existence.
$.02. -
Jan 13, 2012 4:33 PM GMTAvadaKedavra saidwhy do all these gays that made these "it gets better" videos go on to kill themselves? i think this is the third gay that has created a video and then committed suicide. wouldn't that just give other gays the impression that it doesn't get better?
i mean, if i backed out of suicide after watching this video because i am convinced that it gets better and then i find out the dude kills himself i would be like "WTF? i thought it gets better! i guess not. it aint hanging around for shit. time for me to go."
When i hear about these videos, i often think they put a nice big bow on the problem instead of teaching kids how to cope with adversity and hardship. It doesnt always get better. Sometimes it does get worse. And in most cases, it just gets more tolerable. -
Jan 13, 2012 4:40 PM GMTAfter hearing his story I realized something is missing in the "it gets better" videos. It clearly got better for him but when you have been tormented as much as he has your job is not done when it gets better. I think many of us have had suicidal thoughts during our adolescent and early 20s but not all of us were climbing out of as deep a hole as he was in. The fear of falling back into that hole must be terrifying. When you experience the type of torment he has, your body chemistry changes. A rejection or setback that a healthy person would find minor could lead to a tailspin for someone who knows what rock bottom and hopelessness feels like. Someone like him, (and this speaks for anyone out there who has been through what he has) needs regularly cognitive therapy to change their thought patterns to that of what non-depressed people feel. The success of this therapy depends on how your body chemistry changes.
Depression creates an addictive chemical. That chemical tells you its okay to give up. Its okay to sit on the couch and eat. Its okay to quit your job. Depression is like a warm fuzzy cat sitting on your lap that you can pet. But you soon become so attached to this fuzzy creature that you won't leave your chair. That is when you feel hopeless and the feeling of hopelessness only adds to your convection that staying in the chair with the cat on your lap is only way to deal with life. Even if it gets better and you managed to leave the chair, you may still be addicted to negative thoughts. Just thinking about his dark past is a negative thought isn't it? Imagine if that dark past were yours. Your entire history is one big negative thought.
We must all eventually become our own parents. A good parent keeps you from beating yourself up. Reminds you that you are loved. As an adolescent if I even began to think of suicide, empathy for the pain my parents, siblings and friends would feel, arrested the thought. Unfortunately if you had his parents you have no role model to know what a healthy parent is, so how to you learn to parent yourself? The thoughts that you might cause your such awful parents pain by killing yourself could only fuel your urge to deliver the ultimate revenge. Unfortunately that is not revenge at all. Revenge is to grow up to be a healthy successful loving being. -
Jan 13, 2012 4:40 PM GMTI don't understand why this happened. He seemed to finally be away from his family and with people he liked. -
Jan 13, 2012 4:53 PM GMTwrestlervic saidI don't understand why this happened. He seemed to finally be away from his family and with people he liked.
But don't you see? All he has to do is think about most of his past and he sees a world filled with hate. We all recognize hateful people but he saw an entire society. He found that he could be loved. He found people he could love. That's great. But he didn't give himself enough time to change his entire perception of society. -
Jan 13, 2012 4:54 PM GMTI suspect some people make them to persuade themselves that it is already better when it´s not. -
Jan 13, 2012 4:55 PM GMTLostboy saidI suspect some people make them to persuade themselves that it is already better when it´s not.
And it did get better but when your journey begins in hell it takes awhile to reach the surface. -
Jan 13, 2012 4:56 PM GMTSome scars don't heal. I'm guessing he made the video on a good day, then he had a bad day, and it was more than he could handle.
I would agree that it would be better for others feeling that way not to see someone put this out there and then end up giving in to their despair, but these are wounded kids, and wounded kids don't always make the best choices. I'm guessing on the day he made the video, he felt like it would help.
Tyler Clementi, the Rutgers guy who committed suicide last year after his roommate secretly videotaped him with another guy and broadcasted it on the net, was buried out of one of our churches. I've been on a crusade to get our congregations to do more to let these kids know they have a safe place to go if they're in a situation like this. -
Jan 13, 2012 4:58 PM GMTfriendormate said
Lostboy saidI suspect some people make them to persuade themselves that it is already better when it´s not.
And it did get better but when your journey begins in hell it takes awhile to reach the surface.
You´re not using the word better in the same way as me. He obviously *wasn´t* ok. He may not have been as terrible as before, but sadly not better enough. -
Jan 13, 2012 5:01 PM GMTEven the strongest among men have an eventual breaking point...
Why does life gotta be so heartbreaking? Seems like all I ever hear about anymore is bad news. -
Jan 13, 2012 5:11 PM GMTLostboy said
friendormate said
Lostboy saidI suspect some people make them to persuade themselves that it is already better when it´s not.
And it did get better but when your journey begins in hell it takes awhile to reach the surface.
You´re not using the word better in the same way as me. He obviously *wasn´t* ok. He may not have been as terrible as before, but sadly not better enough.
Yes, that's just my point. It got better than before but was clearly not good enough. He was only beginning to climb out of the hole he was practically buried alive in by all the hateful people in his life. What you're saying is correct as well. People convince themselves that because it has gotten better they have escaped the demons of the past but they still have further to travel to keep those demons from returning on a bad day. -
Jan 13, 2012 5:20 PM GMTfriendormate said
And it did get better but when your journey begins in hell it takes awhile to reach the surface.
QFT
"It's always darkest just before the dawn
So stay awake with me; let's prove them wrong!" -
Jan 13, 2012 5:23 PM GMTIt's a shame that happened and now that it has happened he has destroyed his work and lost merit. Such a shame indeed. -
Jan 13, 2012 5:32 PM GMTThis from the comments on Huffington Post: "He should have chosen not to be gay. He might still be alive today. Next time look carefully and think hard and fast before you decide to sashay."
As long as the people on that site still think it's just a simple choice and he could have/should have just made a choice to be a macho straight guy and all would have been well, the battle will never end.
