why do gay men fall into the category top or bottom?

  • rogerfederer

    Posts: 300

    Jan 17, 2012 4:31 AM GMT
    you either do one more than the other...y? What sets the standards bc no one really ever says if they top or bottom like on a date. if you meet a guy and start talking; its the third date and things are getting hot and heavy, one guy just knows to b the top and the other the bottom? And if bottoming feels really really good, then y do tops just top? And if topping is suppose to feel really really good, why do bottoms prefer bottoming? And if a guy has a tiny penis but wants to top do you think society will force into the bottom role? And if a bottom has a flat nasty ass will society force him to top?
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    Jan 17, 2012 5:13 AM GMT
    What do you usually fall onto into?
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    Jan 17, 2012 5:19 AM GMT
    Whoa...this is just moving too fast for me. What happened to first and second base?
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    Jan 17, 2012 5:19 AM GMT
    Chaax saidWhat do you usually fall onto into?

    don't know if I'd ever wanna find something I could fall into...

    Now pushing on the other hand
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    Jan 17, 2012 5:21 AM GMT
    ConfederateGhost saidWhoa...this is just moving too fast for me. What happened to first and second base?


    If you order the most expensive thing on the menu then you have made a deal with the devil to get your bread buttered later that evening.
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    Jan 17, 2012 5:23 AM GMT
    What do you mean by society forcing a guy into one role over another? There's no gay licensing bureau where you you have to register as "top", "bottom", "vers" or "doesn't do anal."
    It comes down to what you want to do and what your partner wants to do.
    There are some generalizations about what makes a top or a bottom, but you're not bound by it.
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    Jan 17, 2012 5:26 AM GMT
    OK *rolls up sleeves* I'll give it a go.

    Q you either do one more than the other...y?

    A No, not really. And we've only ever done either some of the time. icon_wink.gif

    Q What sets the standards bc no one really ever says if they top or bottom like on a date. if you meet a guy and start talking; its the third date and things are getting hot and heavy, one guy just knows to b the top and the other the bottom?

    A There are no standards. If you think there are you'll restrict yourself, as you'll find out some others do. It's individuals meeting individuals.

    Q And if bottoming feels really really good, then y do tops just top?

    A It's like liking skiing more than skateboarding.

    Q And if topping is suppose to feel really really good, why do bottoms prefer bottoming?

    A See answer to previous question

    Q And if a guy has a tiny penis but wants to top do you think society will force into the bottom role?

    A No only you can agree to that. It doesn't matter what you have nearly as much as what you can do with it, and the rest of you. icon_wink.gif

    Q And if a bottom has a flat nasty ass will society force him to top?

    A Good golly, lol, no. There are guys out there that will love that ass and what's attached to it.

    OK, how's that?
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    Jan 17, 2012 5:29 AM GMT
    Noted. Always go dutch.

    spaghettimonster said
    ConfederateGhost saidWhoa...this is just moving too fast for me. What happened to first and second base?


    If you order the most expensive thing on the menu then you have made a deal with the devil to get your bread buttered later that evening.
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    Jan 17, 2012 5:35 AM GMT
    rogerfederer saidyou either do one more than the other...y? What sets the standards bc no one really ever says if they top or bottom like on a date. if you meet a guy and start talking; its the third date and things are getting hot and heavy, one guy just knows to b the top and the other the bottom? And if bottoming feels really really good, then y do tops just top? And if topping is suppose to feel really really good, why do bottoms prefer bottoming? And if a guy has a tiny penis but wants to top do you think society will force into the bottom role? And if a bottom has a flat nasty ass will society force him to top?


    I know I like to top because:

    - I just don't like bottoming. not wired at all to enjoy it.
    - I like making "controlling" my bottoms and get off on seeing them take my cock, and seeing their toes curl and their hands dig into my back, or into the bedsheets as I smash up their prostate.

    There are all kinds of factors for people to top or bottom or anything in between.

    Small dick? You can top, and will do well with flatter-assed bottoms and smaller guys with shallower rectal cavities (space between the two sphincters) and generally tighter guys.

    I know for myself that when I used to fuck this one awesomely hot Filipino boy who was all of 5'3"... I was never really able to plow him balls-deep (I'm 8.5"x6" which is probably a bit bigger than average) with the force I like to; if I did, it would hurt him. A guy with a 5" cock could tap that hard and deep and make him feel like a sex goddess.

    Same goes for the flat bottom guys - great boost for the smaller dicked top.
  • Generaleclect...

    Posts: 504

    Jan 17, 2012 5:46 AM GMT
    This is why I see male-on-male sex acts as more of a function than a role; in the end it all comes down to pleasing each other.

    I feel like most gay men can potentially enjoy both sides of anal sex, but some just naturally like one more than the other. And they kind of live by that role.

    Sometimes you can gauge who's what just by sheer appearance or mannerisms. Sometimes you get caught off guard. Really depends.

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    Jan 17, 2012 5:49 AM GMT
    Really? I don't know what I'm gonna do with you Trigger.


    AlphaTrigger said
    rogerfederer saidyou either do one more than the other...y? What sets the standards bc no one really ever says if they top or bottom like on a date. if you meet a guy and start talking; its the third date and things are getting hot and heavy, one guy just knows to b the top and the other the bottom? And if bottoming feels really really good, then y do tops just top? And if topping is suppose to feel really really good, why do bottoms prefer bottoming? And if a guy has a tiny penis but wants to top do you think society will force into the bottom role? And if a bottom has a flat nasty ass will society force him to top?


    I know I like to top because:

    - I just don't like bottoming. not wired at all to enjoy it.
    - I like making "controlling" my bottoms and get off on seeing them take my cock, and seeing their toes curl and their hands dig into my back, or into the bedsheets as I smash up their prostate.

    There are all kinds of factors for people to top or bottom or anything in between.

    Small dick? You can top, and will do well with flatter-assed bottoms and smaller guys with shallower rectal cavities (space between the two sphincters) and generally tighter guys.

    I know for myself that when I used to fuck this one awesomely hot Filipino boy who was all of 5'3"... I was never really able to plow him balls-deep (I'm 8.5"x6" which is probably a bit bigger than average) with the force I like to; if I did, it would hurt him. A guy with a 5" cock could tap that hard and deep and make him feel like a sex goddess.

    Same goes for the flat bottom guys - great boost for the smaller dicked top.
  • rogerfederer

    Posts: 300

    Jan 18, 2012 12:49 AM GMT
    AlphaTrigger said
    rogerfederer saidyou either do one more than the other...y? What sets the standards bc no one really ever says if they top or bottom like on a date. if you meet a guy and start talking; its the third date and things are getting hot and heavy, one guy just knows to b the top and the other the bottom? And if bottoming feels really really good, then y do tops just top? And if topping is suppose to feel really really good, why do bottoms prefer bottoming? And if a guy has a tiny penis but wants to top do you think society will force into the bottom role? And if a bottom has a flat nasty ass will society force him to top?


    I know I like to top because:

    - I just don't like bottoming. not wired at all to enjoy it.
    - I like making "controlling" my bottoms and get off on seeing them take my cock, and seeing their toes curl and their hands dig into my back, or into the bedsheets as I smash up their prostate.

    There are all kinds of factors for people to top or bottom or anything in between.

    Small dick? You can top, and will do well with flatter-assed bottoms and smaller guys with shallower rectal cavities (space between the two sphincters) and generally tighter guys.

    I know for myself that when I used to fuck this one awesomely hot Filipino boy who was all of 5'3"... I was never really able to plow him balls-deep (I'm 8.5"x6" which is probably a bit bigger than average) with the force I like to; if I did, it would hurt him. A guy with a 5" cock could tap that hard and deep and make him feel like a sex goddess.

    Same goes for the flat bottom guys - great boost for the smaller dicked top.



    does shallow rectum really exist? and also, i heard height or your body type doesn't matter if you can take a gigantic dick, bc they have tiny guys in porn taking these massive cocks...so is that even true?
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    Jan 18, 2012 1:09 AM GMT
    Porn is not a realistic picture of healthy sex.

    A lot of those tiny guys taking huge dongs are very well drugged.

    Though with a lot of practice, yes - any ass can just about accommodate any size (think: fisting and insertion of gigantic plugs and other foreign objects).

    But in the context of "normal sex", your body size (height/natural internal build) does tend to impose soft limits on what you can take comfortably (without excessive and unusual amounts of practice).
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    Jan 18, 2012 1:12 AM GMT
    no clue - I'm blond and versatile - variety is the spice of life
  • rogerfederer

    Posts: 300

    Jan 18, 2012 2:46 AM GMT
    AlphaTrigger saidPorn is not a realistic picture of healthy sex.

    A lot of those tiny guys taking huge dongs are very well drugged.

    Though with a lot of practice, yes - any ass can just about accommodate any size (think: fisting and insertion of gigantic plugs and other foreign objects).

    But in the context of "normal sex", your body size (height/natural internal build) does tend to impose soft limits on what you can take comfortably (without excessive and unusual amounts of practice).



    well its not so much porn. There's evidence that body type has nothing to do with how well u can take a dick. should i do meth to take a big dick?

    Well im a very small guy and i can basically shove my fist up there and ive only gotten fucked a handful of times. thats the only reason i ask. also bc ppl have said on other forums size of the guy makes no difference
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    Jan 18, 2012 2:16 PM GMT
    Well... I'm bi.

    I have sex with women 99% of the time, so when I hook up with a guy, I like to be a total bottom. It's a fantastic change of scenery.
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    Jan 18, 2012 2:33 PM GMT
    To really convolute your question and make you go hmmmmmm. Not all gay men fall into one of those rolls. I don't do either. I have done both and just not something I want to do casually or particularly like. I've never really had a boyfriend or an established sexual relationship which might the difference, don't know. I've met at least one guy like myself but I would say, i am most definitely abnormal in the butt department. Maybe there's hope for me yet and I can be molded by this society you talk about.

    "flat nasty ass", that is hysterical.
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    Jan 18, 2012 2:34 PM GMT
    Because it's SOCIETY, MAN.
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Jan 18, 2012 2:37 PM GMT
    I fall into the category of popular. icon_twisted.gif

    Oh big deal: I love bottoming and I love topping. I don't care. Both get me off. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 18, 2012 2:38 PM GMT
    It's called a preference.. Most people have a preferred role and the majority of people have tried a different role at least once.

    I tried bottoming, and I couldn't get past the sensation of having my intestines pounded in. My boyfriend clearly does not have that sensation.

    I told him I'm happy to switch roles if he wants to try to top (he never has).. but so far he hasn't asked to.

    I think you really only run into a problem when you're with someone who refuses to try anything new or change what they do. Its a selfish way to have sex and it ends up being unrewarding for both people imo.
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    Jan 18, 2012 2:46 PM GMT
    I personally think anyone who is 100% at either end of the spectrum is missing out, but that's their choice!

    I guess most guys have a preference for one more than the other, I have only met a couple of men who said they were completely 50/50.

    There must be a huge range of factors that play into why guys have a leaning towards one role over the other, from psychological to physical. It can also vary depending on your sexual partner!

    My main reasons for preferring the top role is I like to be in control, I like that active role - I get a kick out of pleasuring a guy with my tool, I feel like I'm more confident and 'better' at it than bottoming. I get a huge amount of pleasure from it. I would say my orgasms from bottoming are probably MORE intense overall than orgasms through topping, but I prefer the whole experience of topping more and I have to be in a very specific kind of mood to want to bottom.

    I also feel that bottoming is somehow more intimate, or at least makes me feel more vulnerable, so it's something that in the past I would save for relationships rather than casual sex. I can count on a few fingers the number of guys who I have bottomed for...it would take quite a few more to count the number I've fucked.
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    Jan 18, 2012 2:48 PM GMT
    What if you don't do butt sex at all? Are you an emotional top/bottom?
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Jan 18, 2012 2:53 PM GMT
    Then you're boring. icon_rolleyes.gif

    njmeanwhile saidWhat if you don't do butt sex at all? Are you an emotional top/bottom?
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    Jan 18, 2012 2:55 PM GMT
    Pure saidI personally think anyone who is 100% at either end of the spectrum is missing out, but that's their choice!

    I guess most guys have a preference for one more than the other, I have only met a couple of men who said they were completely 50/50.

    There must be a huge range of factors that play into why guys have a leaning towards one role over the other, from psychological to physical. It can also vary depending on your sexual partner!

    My main reasons for preferring the top role is I like to be in control, I like that active role - I get a kick out of pleasuring a guy with my tool, I feel like I'm more confident and 'better' at it than bottoming. I get a huge amount of pleasure from it. I would say my orgasms from bottoming are probably MORE intense overall than orgasms through topping, but I prefer the whole experience of topping more and I have to be in a very specific kind of mood to want to bottom.

    I also feel that bottoming is somehow more intimate, or at least makes me feel more vulnerable, so it's something that in the past I would save for relationships rather than casual sex. I can count on a few fingers the number of guys who I have bottomed for...it would take quite a few more to count the number I've fucked.


    Top and bottom are not a CHOICE - it's genetic!
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    Jan 18, 2012 2:58 PM GMT
    SoDakGuy saidThen you're boring. icon_rolleyes.gif

    njmeanwhile saidWhat if you don't do butt sex at all? Are you an emotional top/bottom?


    meh... there's more to life.