Old flame...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 18, 2012 5:02 PM GMT
    Pretense: In order to describe the situation, I have to give a little back story. It involves my coming out, but doesnt directly concern it.

    High school was a hard time for me because I tried to hold back the feelings I had, mainly for one guy. He was on the soccer team, and he ran in my circle of friends. I crushed hard on joe, but hated myself for feeling that way.

    At the end of my senior year, I finally came out to a close friend and my mom. My friend didnt care, but my mom flipped and kicked me out. I was couch hopping for awhile, or sleeping in my truck in the park, before I graduated. I ended up telling my close friends, and finally joe. On my 18th birthday, we got drunk and I confessed that I liked him. He told me that he wasnt public about it, but he liked guys too, then came over and gave me the first kiss I ever had from another guy. I was elated, and we did fool around that night.

    He offered for me to stay with him at his moms house for a couple nights, but I was scared of my feelings towards him. Shortly after that, he closed off completely and denied it all. He went through a period of self loathing, and I wanted to be there for him, but he wouldnt let me. Then his mom died. I backed away because it was all I could do not to run up and kiss him and tell him everything would be ok.

    He started dating all these different girls, but somehow still made time to come to my 20th and 21st birthdays. I wanted to make a move and was so happy he was there, until my gay roommate asked him if he liked guys. He said no, then made up some excuse to leave. Devastated, I drank away my 21st and pretended to be happy.

    I still have feelings for him, and even th hough he has a girlfriend, I at least want to let him know. What would you guys do in my situation?
  • sbwlguy

    Posts: 566

    Jan 18, 2012 6:48 PM GMT
    Personally I'd try and forget about him. Why extend your mental anguish?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 18, 2012 6:55 PM GMT
    That's really unfortunate, man. Seriously.

    I think the best thing for you to do is to let him be and for you to move on. I know it sounds cruel but if you pursue him I think you'll end up hurting both yourself and him. Let him figure some things out about himself and let him deal with his troubles til he feels strong enough to ask for and accept help. If you are still single when he's come around about himself and is secure then take it from there and go slow.

    Other then that you need to move on to greener fields and not beat yourself up about this. You've done nothing wrong.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Jan 18, 2012 7:04 PM GMT
    bro, i say leave it alone. It is obvious he is still dealing with his issues. I think you tried it once and it fell miserably. Why not let him come to you when he is ready. Try being a friend like you guys were and go from there. If it is meant to be than it will definitely be
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 18, 2012 11:33 PM GMT
    thanks guys. i guess i kinda felt that i needed to let him know how i felt, but it is probably better to just let it go. ill miss that first magical moment where i got to kiss my crush, but no need to dwell. thanks guys icon_smile.gif