wanting a Family

  • BmwKid92

    Posts: 1097

    Jan 19, 2012 12:41 AM GMT
    How do you go about having a family(no adoption) but still be fair to your babymoms, with living a functional healthy family life so that the kids ome out right, but in all of this like guys and have attraction towards them!? if thats possible?
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    Jan 19, 2012 2:40 AM GMT
    Bmwkid92 saidHow do you go about having a family(no adoption) but still be fair to your babymoms, with living a functional healthy family life so that the kids ome out right, but in all of this like guys and have attraction towards them!? if thats possible?




    Well, My oldest brother is going through this at the moment with having a baby mama on the side and a wife that he married in August of last year. He has just been give the child support treatment and seems to be struggling a bit at the moment however he has said that he wants to be more responsible for his actions and make things work with his babys mother because of their child at stake. I believe that in order to have a functional life in a family you have to be responsible and more importantly be a man. And i do believe it is possible
  • BmwKid92

    Posts: 1097

    Jan 19, 2012 2:47 AM GMT
    thanks eddy bank$, finally some1 answered in this
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    Jan 19, 2012 2:51 AM GMT
    Bmwkid92 saidthanks eddy bank$, finally some1 answered in this
    Your welcome icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 19, 2012 2:54 AM GMT
    great question!!!
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    Jan 19, 2012 2:57 AM GMT
    I have an almost 4 year old little girl named Ellie. I was the sperm donor for her mother. I waived my parental rights for Ellie so her mothers partner could adopt Ellie. I consider this decision one of the highlights of my life. I am no parent and wouldn't consider it for a very long time. I know she has two of the most loving, nurturing parents one could have. I also know I have a surrogate, should I decide to have a child with a partner.

    She sure is one beautiful, blue eyed, quarter Mexican, quarter Spaniard, quarter German, and quarter Irish. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 19, 2012 2:59 AM GMT
    Bustamante saidI have an almost 4 year old little girl named Ellie. I was the sperm donor for her mother. I waived my parental rights for Ellie so her mothers partner could adopt Ellie. I consider this decision one of the highlights of my life. I am no parent and wouldn't consider it for a very long time. I know she has two of the most loving, nurturing parents one could have. I also know I have a surrogate, should I decide to have a child with a partner.

    She sure is one beautiful, blue eyed, quarter Mexican, quarter Spaniard, quarter German, and quarter Irish. icon_biggrin.gif


    How did yiu find the birth mom?
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    Jan 19, 2012 3:01 AM GMT
    I met her through her partner. She and I worked together for a year and became friends. They tried 3 times at a sperm bank and each time failed. I offered when I heard her talking about how devastated her partner was. Super sperm to the rescue and she ended up pregnant the first time! NO! I didn't have intercourse. I ejaculated into a cup and her partner used some instrument to inseminate.
  • metta

    Posts: 39165

    Jan 19, 2012 3:06 AM GMT
    I had to ask a friend to translate the OP. There are organizations that specialize in this but it is a very expensive process and I think that your income needs to be something like over $200k/yr to do it. Whether you have a personal relationship with the surrogate depends on what was decided. And whether it is a healthy one or not will depend on many factors, including the maturity of all involved, that everything has been discussed and decided prior to doing it, that everyone involved is honest and open with what they want, etc. I think it would be a good idea to have an agreed upon contract.
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    Jan 19, 2012 3:16 AM GMT
    metta8 saidI had to ask a friend to translate the OP. There are organizations that specialize in this but it is a very expensive process and I think that your income needs to be something like over $200k/yr to do it. Whether you have a personal relationship with the surrogate depends on what was decided. And whether it is a healthy one or not will depend on many factors, including the maturity of all involved, that everything has been discussed and decided prior to doing it, that everyone involved is honest and open with what they want, etc. I think it would be a good idea to have an agreed upon contract.


    Could you provide links to some of the organizations?
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    Jan 19, 2012 3:18 AM GMT
    Organizations are out simply to make money. I think my friends spent a few thousand trying to get inseminated. I legally have no rights and can make no claims to custody. I can't believe she will be 4 in March. I'm shocked but excited to be at her birthday party. I am known as uncle NoƩ, till she asks who her father is.
  • BmwKid92

    Posts: 1097

    Jan 19, 2012 3:48 AM GMT
    1 day you'll get that call dude!!
  • JonPk

    Posts: 132

    Jan 19, 2012 4:05 AM GMT
    Bmwkid92 saidHow do you go about having a family(no adoption) but still be fair to your babymoms, with living a functional healthy family life so that the kids ome out right, but in all of this like guys and have attraction towards them!? if thats possible?
    don't have children till you've sorted yourself out. You're way to young to be thinking about a family.
  • BmwKid92

    Posts: 1097

    Jan 19, 2012 4:07 AM GMT
    well mr. no photos, its a question i been wondering for a long time, i want kids from my own, and raise them. i just find liking guys a huge obstacle yanno
  • JonPk

    Posts: 132

    Jan 19, 2012 4:20 AM GMT
    Bmwkid92 saidwell mr. no photos, its a question i been wondering for a long time, i want kids from my own, and raise them. i just find liking guys a huge obstacle yanno
    you're 19!
  • metta

    Posts: 39165

    Jan 19, 2012 4:26 AM GMT
    swimguychicago said
    metta8 saidI had to ask a friend to translate the OP. There are organizations that specialize in this but it is a very expensive process and I think that your income needs to be something like over $200k/yr to do it. Whether you have a personal relationship with the surrogate depends on what was decided. And whether it is a healthy one or not will depend on many factors, including the maturity of all involved, that everything has been discussed and decided prior to doing it, that everyone involved is honest and open with what they want, etc. I think it would be a good idea to have an agreed upon contract.


    Could you provide links to some of the organizations?


    There are tons of resources on this very thing. I don't want to give a specific recommendation without knowing how good they are. So people need to do their research in making these decisions:

    https://www.google.com/search?aq=f&ix=hea&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=glbt+surrogacy
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    Jan 19, 2012 4:30 AM GMT
    That is understandable and I'm in the same boat as well. There are actually a few guys on this site who are bi and married to women. Gatorball (although I have no idea if he has kids) and laxdude25 come to mind, but the latter I know has children for sure. At this point, it's a matter of timing for coming clean- some women you'll be okay right off the bat, and others you should probably wait until it's time to have little-to-no secrets. However, I don't know if you're single or not, but dude- live a little. We're both 19 and if my dad didn't get married until he was 34, then I'm pretty sure we have plenty of time to figure things out. However, if you really want to think about the unknown distant future, then I recommend talking to laxdude. And tell him I sent you.

    I hope that helps.
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    Jan 19, 2012 4:33 AM GMT
    No text book or manual to raising healthy mini people. Pray that between your parenting skills, pressure of society and the influence of the community in which u live is a trifecta winning ticket.
  • BmwKid92

    Posts: 1097

    Jan 19, 2012 4:39 AM GMT
    bullwinkle explained it the best 4sure! and guys i never said i wanted this to happen anytime soon
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    Jan 19, 2012 11:34 AM GMT
    Hillie saidNo text book or manual to raising healthy mini people. Pray that between your parenting skills, pressure of society and the influence of the community in which u live is a trifecta winning ticket.

    There are tons of books on raising healthy children, many of them available at these things called libraries, and even more at these weird places called bookstores. Prayer will not bring you parenting skills and if you are praying for parenting skills, you'd best be advised to not have kids.
    I have friends who have children and the ones who seem to be best at it waited, until they were over 30. Mostly so they were both more grounded and more mature, plus they also would have the life experience and money to be better parents. The actual job of raising a child is a commitment that I think is deeper than just the act of making a child. So many "baby daddies" just stick it in and pay child support, but are not doing anything to raise these children, thus we have generations of maladjusted boneheads walking around.