Horrible First Date Stories

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 27, 2007 12:54 AM GMT
    We all know misery loves company, so go ahead and share your worst first date stories. Mine ocurred just last week. To make a long story short: met a guy, my type totally, asked him out, he accepted, said he was always hot for me, was very happy I approached him, we went out. During our date he cried the entire time over his ex-boyfriend. It was so pathetic I actually felt sorry for him. I spent 4 hours consoling a 6'5" 245lb man that "everything will be okay; there, there now...don't cry..." The kicker is, after all that, he still wanted to go home with me and have sex!!! I said no way.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 27, 2007 2:52 AM GMT
    I've had one that was similar to that...the guy and I went out, and while at the restaurant he decided to tell me that he'd lied to me before, and that he wasn't out of the closet. When the waitress came over, he told her seperate checks, and made a point of saying I was just a work buddy he was out having a beer with...we don't even work together. THEN, to top it off at the restaurant, he made a point of buying a woman a drink just to keep the appearance up, apologizing and saying it was necessary, haha. I peaced out and as I was walking to the car, he called my cell, asking if he should meet at my place or if I'll meet him at his. I said neither, and he broke down and started crying talking about how hard being in the closet is, and how I have no idea what kind of stress he's under, haha. I couldn't help but to laugh and go home to get drunk with the frat brothers.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 27, 2007 5:38 AM GMT
    Well, dating someone from an internet intro is always a roll of the dice.

    Once, I was going to meet a guy and go out to the most infamous gay club in town, for the first time, just to see what the place was like.

    I got to his apartment, and immediately realized that he was a foot shorter and 50 lbs heavier than described in his profile. (He "was going to start working out, real soon now.") Also had a face like a toad, but I can't blame him for that. Although he'd told me he was a non-smoker, IRL, he smoked like a chimney ("going to quit real soon now.")

    He insisted that we hang out in his apartment for a few hours, instead of going to the club "too early." In the course of strained conversation, it appeared that he now considered me "his boyfriend" and he had all kinds of plans for our future lives together. Finally, I couldn't take it any more and insisted that if it was too early to go to the club, we should stop at another bar for a drink on the way. The nearest place was the local leather bar, but the door man apparently recognized him and wouldn't let us in.

    Finally, we just went to the club "early." It was packed. A waiter tried to take our drinks orders, but my "date" got into a fight with him and insisted that we go get our drinks from the bar instead. I ended up sipping my drink and surveying the crowd (and the strippers, heheh) over my "date's" head. After a while, my eyes locked with someone who I knew! We met on the dance floor with a big hug and brief greetings and excuses for what we were doing in a place-like-this. Meanwhile, our respective (short, fat) dates were both glaring daggers at us, so we broke it up.

    It turns out that both of us were thinking something along the lines of "What on earth is HE doing with a troll like that? Maybe he's hustling..."

    *sigh* We should have just introduced the trolls to each other and split together.

    Instead, I had a polite two drinks, then made excuses about work in the morning. The troll followed me all the way up the street to my car, begging me to come sleep at his apartment. (I DID have a two hour drive to get home.) For a minute, I was afraid that I was going to have to beat his fingers off the window sill with a tire iron.
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Jul 27, 2007 6:13 AM GMT
    ...oh my...where to begin...I can't even be bothered to rehash this whole mess...

    ...started out with horseback riding...[good start]...then ended up within 24 hours crying...and involving police to remove him from my apartment...

    ...thank God for speed dial...

    - David
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 27, 2007 6:24 AM GMT
    OK. Dates in which the police get involved have got to have their own special category.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 27, 2007 6:36 AM GMT
    David, I'd really enjoy hearing this story, haha.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 27, 2007 9:50 AM GMT
    Hum... ive never had a bad first date because well evertime ive tried to take this one guy out that im head over heals for I'm either stood up, or my straight ex roommate that lives in the same city has the boy does has to be there to make it seem as if "friends" are just hanging out. i hate that I'm so still intrested in this guy its just im not going to lie he's cute, a total brain and thats not, and we have the same likings. Him being in the closet isnt a bad thing and i can deal with it but everytime I try to take him out on a date or set something up it always gets screwed.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 27, 2007 12:34 PM GMT
    LOL...That is a hilarious story, Mindgarden.

    Out of curiosity, though, why didn't you leave early on? Politeness? (Morbid) curiosity? Appreciation of theater of the absurd?
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Jul 27, 2007 12:41 PM GMT
    Wow Mind. Ur a good sport. I would have left as soon as I saw and heard he lied about himself!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 27, 2007 2:45 PM GMT
    First personals ad I ever placed (in the dark ages: remember newspaper personals?). Winnowing through the responses, I come across a pleasant sounding fellow who has the same first name as me. “Hey,” thinks I, “the same name, that’s gotta be worth at least one date just for that alone!”

    We agree to meet at a local hangout. We start the “first date” chit-chat and I notice that he never looks me in the eyes. Maybe he’s just nervous? I’m a new at this dating thing myself and I’m a little nervous too. But after twenty minutes the man still hasn’t looked at me; he’s always staring about a foot to either side of my head!

    Now the Kooky Alarm starts ringing in my head, “Danger, danger, Will Robinson!” But in those days I was much too polite for my own good, and rather than cut things short I thought I should at least be congenial until a reasonable amount of time had passed. I figured an hour was acceptable for a first meeting; there were 40 minutes left to go.

    By this time it is also abundantly clear that – other than sharing the same first name – we have very little in common. I like to think I’m a decent conversationalist, but that’s difficult when there’s not much to work with coming from the other side of the table. Suddenly, I hit pay dirt; this fellow is an absolute NUT about fantasy baseball, so for the remainder of the date we talk fantasy baseball. Mind you, I know absolutely NOTTHING about baseball, fantasy or otherwise, but I can pick up enough from his excited blathering about it to be able to ask questions and keep him talking; we finish out the hour hearing about his dream vacation to visit every major league stadium and see a game in a single season. WooHoo!

    When we stood outside afterwards for the “nice to meet you” closing comments, he asked the coffee shop’s menu – located behind me and just to the right of my head – if I’d like to get together again.

    I politely declined.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 27, 2007 4:02 PM GMT
    When I was in the Marine Corps.,I met this guy, Thought he was cute. I asked him out and away we go.
    I asked what he had planned for us and he said "You'll see".

    Now, I had worked with this guy for about 6 or 7 months on various military projects, so, I just kind of went along with him, HOPING, I could bend him over later. LOL

    Well, as we are barreling along the highway, we are talking and he asks if I have ever heard of Judy Garland? Like a dumbass, I said "Yes", so, he puts a CD in and begins to sing standards to me while he drives, louder than Judy ever sang them. Right to me, in my ear.
    You have not lived until you have heard "The man that got away" and "Cry me a river" sung by a six foot Marine.

    By the grace of God, we finally pull up to a house. We go in, we join a cook out already in progress. There are about 3 other guys there (not ONE of them was very attractive) and about 4 lesbians.

    Turns out the meat was all deer meat from a lesbian hunting trip, Yes, I was eating Bambi that had been cleaned and slaughtered by a very butch chick that looked like my Major.

    Then, when everyone was full and happy, they pull a BONG out and begin to pass it around. The guys shirts and shoes start coming off and I'm thinking, well, at least I'll get some sex.

    The lesbians all head upstairs to do their thing.
    Then, the crying starts, the more the bong went around, the more they talked about their evil ex-boyfriends.
    Some sort of weird, group therapy???????

    The guys are crying, the lesbians come downstairs crying, Thank God I found a blueberry cheescake in the fridge or I would have called the whole day a loss.

    Man, that cheesecake was good. UUUUMMMMMMMMMMMM!
    Blueberry Cheesecake.....

    Then, everyone had a group hug and I never saw those people again.

    When we got back to the base, he said, see you next weekend.

    I never spoke to him again.




  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Jul 27, 2007 5:09 PM GMT
    Flirting with death.

    I answer an adv on the board of adult bookstore. This guy was interested to get together with me, so I take a bus and meet him. I know his a stranger, but I get to bed with him. There a picture of a good looking navy (you know with Amreican Flag in the back)on top of his TV , he latter told me that is his boyfriend. He insist on me bottoming but I flatly refuse and the session just ended up with mutual masturbation only. I find him kinda cold and not really into it.

    A few week later, I saw in TV on some talk show in campus. The same guy telling the host that he is HIV Poz. All them thing about safe sex and stuff, and his boyfriend (the guy in the picture) who have died from AIDS.

    When he asking me to bottom he certainly have no condom around. For some reason my instinct just dont feel right that night.

    Now, I dont have anything against HIv Poz people, but they should be responsible enough to tell.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 27, 2007 5:32 PM GMT
    Thats also a bit illegal for him to try and have sex with you without telling you that he was HIV+
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 27, 2007 5:58 PM GMT
    as to why I didn't bail earlier on the "date" above... I guess I wasn't really thinking of it as "a date" at the time... just going out for the evening. It just kind of escalated into absurdity. Like a John Cleese sketch.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 27, 2007 7:00 PM GMT
    I have a tendency to meet emotionally unstable people (or people construe themselves as emotionally healthy despite having a lengthy history of treatment for various issues).

    But none of my stories compare with some of my sisters. She had a date *arrested* (cuffed and stuffed) while they were on the way to the movies. It turned out he had no license and a criminal record. She ended up having to drive his car to the police station, behind the patrol car.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 28, 2007 6:45 AM GMT
    Wow some of these dates sound really horrible, I thought I had bad dates.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 28, 2007 7:52 PM GMT
    Mine was a couple of years ago
    ...I met this guy thru an online dating service
    First of all when I met him I wanted to say
    did you pay your photographer in gold bullion because he made you look twelve years younger....

    ...and it went downhill from there
    From the minute I opened the door and said hello to the minute the date ended he didn't shut up once...all I could do was nod and make monosyllabic utterences in between his run on sentences
    THEN I find out he's a republican
    Sorry Log Cabinites....I'm for freedom of speech and all but being in a closed room with one of you guys gives me the hives
    when Barbara Streisand came on the car radio
    ...and he said..."Why doesn't she just shut up and sing.."
    I said, "Stop the car... That's it."
    I left him with the car door open and I hailed a cab
    It was either that or republicide...
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 29, 2007 11:55 AM GMT
    Word to the wise then - right? :)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2007 10:18 PM GMT
    wow - well, suddenly my, "horror stories," seem like an episode of Care Bears. :)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 04, 2007 9:22 AM GMT
    My first date was considered my worst so far. The guy and I had decided to do our thing in his apartment. While I was giving him a head... darn! He didnt even care to moan that he likes that way I suck him. He was only playing with his cellphone... or could he be taking me a picture or video? The hell I care! After he cummed... I walked out and never talked to him again. Hahaha!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 04, 2007 2:27 PM GMT
    My worst date story was when me and this guy I met online went out for dinner. Conversation was good, I thought we were getting along well, until I excused myself to go to the bathroom. When I came back he was gone and left me 20 bucks for his share of dinner. I couldn't believe the disrespect of that action. If you arent interested just say something after dinner rather than do something that mean to someone
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 04, 2007 4:38 PM GMT
    mindgarden, litally, great stories, but the "date" would never get that far for me. After the coffee or dinner, I would excuse myself gracefully. I'm not sure about the horseback ride though to which David was referring. Calling the police? Too funny.

    However, I met a guy on match.com, and after several nice phone conversations, we agreed to have dinner. The dinner started out OK, but the conversation on his end quickly devolved into a series of self-revelations, including that he was a bed-wetter, and that not only he was molested by his father when he was a kid...but that as a teenager he knowingly sought his father out to have sex with him.

    Lest you think I said something to trip his brain into these revelations, I didn't. While none of this stuff was a deal-breaker if I had learned it gradually as I got to know him better, the fact that he felt like sharing it on our first face-to-face meeting in a gush set many alarms going in my brain. Oh, sad to say, OW, he is a psychotherapist. :-)

    John