Ugh we were getting along great and now he doesn't reply

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 20, 2012 5:16 PM GMT
    Went out with this guy on a setup through a mutual friend last Friday. The dated lasted over 5 hrs went to 3 different places made out all nigh and even though he asked me to come to his place I refused because I didn't want to move that fast. We met up again on Sunday for dessert and fooled around a bit. Overall great time. I texted him again on Weds asking for his weekend plans and if he wanted to meet up. Granted he started classes (law school) this week, but he hasn't replied since. What do I do? Delete contact? Text him again with a date idea?
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    Jan 20, 2012 5:17 PM GMT
    lol, it's only been 48 hours. icon_wink.gif


    Why not use the telephone instead of texting?
  • sbwlguy

    Posts: 566

    Jan 20, 2012 6:58 PM GMT
    You waited 2 days? I've been waiting 5! I'll wait a week before contacting him again as that should give you a better idea of what's going on.

    But I totally know where you're coming from. The waiting is a real killer.
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    Jan 20, 2012 7:18 PM GMT
    Go do things and become busy. You wont even notice that he hasnt texted you back.
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    Jan 20, 2012 10:14 PM GMT
    I love that "we were getting along great" always hear people say that when they talk about guys who go silent.

    It really should be "I was getting along great with him, he was just along for the ride to the next stop"
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    Jan 20, 2012 10:28 PM GMT
    Chainers saidGo do things and become busy. You wont even notice that he hasnt texted you back.


    Wisdom in this.
    For him, only like 2 hours of free time have happened since. For you it feels a lot longer.

    Try to fight the paranoia, give him the chance to be straightforward. If he ditches you, you dodged a bullet because he'd be an indirect, passive-aggressive fucked up person to be in a relationship with.
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    Jan 21, 2012 2:21 AM GMT
    I've waited 19 days to hear back from the person I've been seeing every week since August. Just today, I get an email reply back to my 'fuck off' letter to him, but I can't bring myself up to open it LOL.

    SkinnyBitch said If he ditches you, you dodged a bullet because he'd be an indirect, passive-aggressive fucked up person to be in a relationship with.


    yep, that describes the above statement.
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    Jan 21, 2012 3:55 AM GMT
    Dunno. I went out with a guy a few times, took it slow. The last time we stopped by his place - I suppose I was expected to ravish him, but for whatever reason, didn't. Never heard back from him again.
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    Jan 21, 2012 4:09 AM GMT
    He has completely blown you off and you should hide all the sharp objects and seek closure.
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    Jan 21, 2012 4:15 AM GMT
    SkinnyBitch said
    Chainers saidGo do things and become busy. You wont even notice that he hasnt texted you back.


    Wisdom in this.
    For him, only like 2 hours of free time have happened since. For you it feels a lot longer.

    Try to fight the paranoia, give him the chance to be straightforward. If he ditches you, you dodged a bullet because he'd be an indirect, passive-aggressive fucked up person to be in a relationship with.


    I agree with SkinnyBitch and Chainers on this ;-)
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    Jan 21, 2012 4:31 AM GMT
    I find gay guys tend to use the silent approach when they aren't interested, get mad, etc.

    Usually not replying is a sure sign. It seems harmless, one can make rationalizations for it...but it's always a reason behind it.

    If they aren't running you down with texts or replying every minute...something is up.

  • Anemoneg

    Posts: 68

    Jan 21, 2012 6:05 AM GMT
    Story of my life.. I was talking to this guy, he asked for my facebook and number. He didn't add me or text me and we haven't talked in a week.
    It's always the guys I'm really into as well.icon_sad.gif
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    Jan 21, 2012 6:08 AM GMT
    knowwonder said

    I agree with SkinnyBitch and Chainers on this ;-)


    This is the only time this sentence ever has and ever will be spoken.
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    Jan 21, 2012 6:12 AM GMT
    The times when I get a guys' number, this seems to always happen to me. Maybe it's just me. Meh.

    I tend to delete their numbers out of my phone so I have no way to contact them. The first couple days are killer, but after that you totally forget they even existed. It's usually a couple months down the line that you remember them and feel the need to text them. Fight the urge. They're not worth it.
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    Jan 21, 2012 6:14 AM GMT
    Yep same old story. I really think its about not having sex with them straight up. Every time I meet a guy and all is going well if we dont fuck on the first date I never hear from him again or its the old wanna hook up question. If I do then i never hear from him again. if i discuss the likely hood of sex on the second date then i hear from him again. But not after a fuck. Even though many guys say they want a relationship all they want is a quick fuck.
    Stay busy and move on.
    On the whole guys are arseholes and have little idea about relating to another gay guy in a romantic non sexual way.
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    Jan 21, 2012 6:18 AM GMT
    I thought I was the only one got in this situation icon_sad.gif apparently not. I waited 2 days and he didnt even text me back, at first I thought he lost his phone or something but then I saw him on grindr. So I said goodbye, the dude didnt care to say anything else.
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    Jan 21, 2012 11:40 AM GMT
    dontellmeyorhot said
    On the whole guys are arseholes and have little idea about relating to another gay guy in a romantic non sexual way.


    Exactly...

    they just go along all complacent without voicing a single word or opinion. But God forbid something that involves conversing using the brain and thoughts. I'm just going to stop texting him and responding to him, just like a little nellie faggot bitch.

    Go ahead, run like a little bitch. You can't face me like a real man anyway chump.
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    Jan 21, 2012 11:56 AM GMT
    dontellmeyorhot said I really think its about not having sex with them straight up.... Even though many guys say they want a relationship all they want is a quick fuck.......
    On the whole guys are arseholes......



    lol icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 21, 2012 12:07 PM GMT
    Its also classic passive aggressive behavior after only 5 days? Cut your losses, this guy will disappear for days at a time, then pop back in and act like no problem.
  • FS696

    Posts: 131

    Jan 21, 2012 12:31 PM GMT
    wow i was gonna post something asking this had 4 guys do me like this one i been talking to on and off we finally meet fooled around and 2 days later he ended up with a bf i am like wow really, he is gonna get cussed out when they break up and he comes trying to talk to me again.

    The other guy told me his story of how he was homeless for months just moved here with his aunt after they realized his shit, again played around now all i get is hi, o yea so guess what fuck you too.

    Then this other guy made plans to chill with me one weekend and his family had a reunion he did not know about. I had to call him to find this out so i said hmmm, He however hit me up 2 days ago after not talking since jan1 and i just looked at his text and deleted.

    Then this one guy i been talking to stood me up on night told me all the shit we were gonna do shocked me woo'd me and he was a jackass one profile on Grindr, yes he has two, says in a relationship the othe says single and im like ok how hard is it to update shit u have two profiles. so im like okay whatever these guys earned the title of FAGGOTS because noone should treat people like this. Now i feel low and just depressed because all this relates to my childhood.
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    Jan 21, 2012 1:04 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidI love that "we were getting along great" always hear people say that when they talk about guys who go silent.

    It really should be "I was getting along great with him, he was just along for the ride to the next stop"

    True, that may be the case here. But first week of law school may also be genuinely hectic, with little attention paid to personal texts & emails for a while, that might entail time-consuming obligations which aren't welcome right now. We all have to prioritize our lives at some points.

    I often defer replying or even opening emails when I'm busy, with the danger that I'll do a mind dump and effectively delete from my memory that I ever got them. I get so much email everyday that in a couple of days the unreplied items just sink back several pages where I no longer see them. I oughta scroll back far enough each time I go into my email, but there's no accounting for laziness. icon_redface.gif

    Some good advice in this thread. And the OP shouldn't discount the possibility that the guy just isn't that into him. A nice time was had, but maybe not enough to derail this other guy's academic focus for the time being.

    Plus I wonder about the lack of sex. Call me a whore (please), but I'm not sure I ever had a date that didn't include sex. Maybe this law school guy is in the same category, and doesn't wanna be spending time going around to "3 different places" but ultimately to only 1 place -- his own place, to which the OP was invited. I suspect declining that offer may also have a lot to do with this. Some guys consider "fooling around" that doesn't appear to be going anywhere to be nothing more than teasing, and quickly lose interest in future encounters.
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    Jan 23, 2012 3:46 PM GMT
    ry77no saidSame situation here. Don't quit on him yet. I also got soo paranoid in those two depressing days, thinking to myself that I just got "silent dumped." He might be really busy, and people do have lives outside of the relationship so there's that.

    My seemingly distant boyfriend messaged me yesterday. He was very apologetic, telling me that he hasn't been replying cuz he fell off a house (I think he meant horse, but I'm not sure ...) and has been resting all day. icon_surprised.gif

    Just remember, if he means so much to you, then most likely you mean so much to him. Wait for him to get back to you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. icon_smile.gif


    What a load of optimistic babble, if you mean that much too him he will be in contact regularly.icon_rolleyes.gif