I would say first and foremost to be patient.
After that, I'd say don't get bitter. You guys are both really young. Do you want to be married to someone?
If yes, then don't you want to find the right person? Finding the right person takes a lot of time, and as someone else (can't remember who) said, you're statistically going to fail at every relationship until you succeed. It's that simple.
If you don't want to get married, then there's no problem right now.
In terms of making friends, I guess I don't really know what you guys expect. You can't just try those things (join a sports team, volunteer, get involved) and say they didn't work. They aren't really things that you try. You do them, all the time. This is life. Life is about getting involved. You can't live your life sitting in the stands, analyzing things and trying to figure it out. You get involved and experience stuff, over and over again. Maybe joining that local lawn bowling team didn't make you any real friends; that doesn't mean that joining a new sports team won't make you new friends. Try something you're really interested in, with other people, that you enjoy. Friends will come along. And if you still feel that you've done that, and it hasn't worked, try something slightly different. I joined Toast Masters at my last job, and I made tons of friends. You have to get up and talk about yourself, and you have to listen to other people talk about themselves. I can't think of a better way to get to know people than that.
Life is what you make of it. If you're keep thinking you're never going to find someone, you're going to keep going out of your way to prove yourself right. If, on the other hand, you keep telling yourself that you're going to enjoy life and meet new people, you'll prove yourself right with that. Someone that makes friends doesn't say that it doesn't work to try different things to make friends. He goes out and makes new friends. Maybe they aren't friends for life; life is so short that what we all really need are friends for right now. Friends for life are just friends for right now that lasted a long time. Considering right now is the only moment that really matters, that's all we can ask for.
Ok, rant over. I hope some of this was useful. It sounds like you guys are lonely, and frustrated, and I wish there was something I could do for you. I can't really though. You've got to do something for yourself about this.