friends with benefits

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 24, 2008 5:23 PM GMT
    does this really work?
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jun 24, 2008 5:28 PM GMT
    It can and it can't......

    It depends on the two individuals and their philosophy,
    emotional state and goals... If the "benefits" are intense, sincere and appreciated, many would have issues with the thing. If the two individuals are truly friends, respect and appreciate each other it can work.

    As you can imagine, one party may develop an emotional attachment and the other might not and the end result might not be very beneficial.

    I've been encouraged to consider this kind of friendship.... and didn't. I could do it if I were single and didn't want to commit I suppose, but it would have to be the right situation.
  • duglyduckling

    Posts: 279

    Jun 24, 2008 5:34 PM GMT
    works well for me, but then it's more like fuck buddies...
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    Jun 24, 2008 5:59 PM GMT
    It worked for me as well, the only thing to worry about it keeping the emotions in check and to be sure of where you stand in the other persons eyes
  • auryn

    Posts: 2061

    Jun 24, 2008 8:06 PM GMT
    the key word is friends... it only works as long as you can keep your friendship first and foremost, otherwise things get weird.

    Before I desired a relationship, I used to say, if you can't fuck your friends, who can you fuck? You know where they've been, so why not...
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    Jun 24, 2008 8:06 PM GMT
    For that specific purpose ONLY!
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    Jun 24, 2008 8:08 PM GMT
    I think its a crock personally. If it works for you go ahead, but for me sex means more then hand shake.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 24, 2008 8:08 PM GMT
    It works so long as you both can keep your emotions in check and know what you're getting into from the start! Better a friend with benefits than one night stands...at least you know the person and what he might have icon_twisted.gif
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    Jun 24, 2008 8:54 PM GMT
    DJBens77 saiddoes this really work?


    If you weren't 9 hours away I'd volunteer for trying it.

    If you're suggesting that your ex (i.e. roommate) is trying to get this from you, I would suggest not going there.

    Otherwise, it's up to you and the other person involved. Sit down and talk about it before going there and make sure it is what both of you want. As long as neither party gets attatched, leading to jealousy later, and you are not both FWB with lots of other people or can do it safely...then I say, why not?
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    Jun 24, 2008 8:59 PM GMT
    No this won't work.
    Your talking about guys here and there are two types, those that want a realtionship and those that don't.

    Those that do, would "settle" for a frnd with bennys, those that don't want a realtionship will sooner or later "assume" the other is wanting more.

    oh wait... you can masturbate
    that's the true friend with benefits!! there when you want it and busy with other things when you don't!

    if you need more, there are pet shops for that (but keep sex outta that) yuck.

  • metalxracr

    Posts: 761

    Jun 24, 2008 9:15 PM GMT
    A friend I tried it once, for a long time actually. It got a little messy, because jealousy started to come in when we talked to other people. We realized we developed feelings for eachother.

    We ended up dating for a quite a long time.

    I think I got lucky that we both had mutual feelings, because that's rarely the case.
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    Jun 24, 2008 9:22 PM GMT
    a1972guy saidFor that specific purpose ONLY!


    Disagree. I hooked up at most probably 5 times with my friend/roommate that I've known for 3 years. It never once comprimised the relationship we have. If anything, it's made it stronger. I would agree with what others have said, it doesn't always work out well.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jun 24, 2008 9:25 PM GMT
    It's kinda like stringin' a high wire across the Grand Canyon where the Colorado River is on fire and infested with millions of electric eels...

    as long as you make it across? You're fine icon_wink.gif
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    Jun 24, 2008 9:35 PM GMT
    Hmm. I disagree with the black & white answers. This is one of those things that totally depends on the individual (or individuals, in this case).
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    Jun 24, 2008 9:43 PM GMT
    I have to agree with BRIX...I have one long term friend with whom I play occasionally if neither of us is dating someone...we've known each other a long time, physically enjoy one another, but know that we will never be a couple...it works with him, but I can't say it would with someone else...
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    Jun 24, 2008 9:46 PM GMT
    Maybe the type of benefit matters? Such as 2 guys who are mutual j/o buddies can be easily done. we are men, we need to get off, why not with a buddy? Maybe if it involves kissing, oral, top/bottom events, then a talk might be needed. Anyone have a j/o buddy that worked out well for the 2 of you?
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    Jun 24, 2008 9:58 PM GMT
    I'd like to have a friend with benefits.. but all my friends are straight... so to me a friend with benefits sounds more like hooking up with a stranger.icon_sad.gif
  • Teacherguy

    Posts: 150

    Jun 24, 2008 9:59 PM GMT
    well fellas...when i teach my grade 8 students sex ed..i stress the importance of communication and to make sure that you and your partner know the bounderies of your relationship. Its easy to have a misunderstanding resulting in a soured relationship...friends with benefits...sure if that works for you then go for it! Just be clear about the boundaries. Thats your teacherly advice for the day.icon_idea.gif
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    Jun 24, 2008 10:13 PM GMT
    BENS!!! Well heck, I didn't realize you wanted benifits from our friendship!!! I'm Game though! Hold on folks, its gonna be a bumpy right! YEEEE HAWWWW!!!!!

    icon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 24, 2008 10:24 PM GMT
    Um... I was talking about health benefits. icon_lol.gifGod you guys are a bunch of horny lil buggers...AND I LOVE IT>>

    Great comments so far. And the few offers I have received. I should do this more often...definitely opening up my point of view.
    icon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gif
    tl-friends_with_benefits_button.jpg
  • auryn

    Posts: 2061

    Jun 24, 2008 10:38 PM GMT
    DJBens77 saidUm... I was talking about health benefits. icon_lol.gifGod you guys are a bunch of horny lil buggers...AND I LOVE IT>>



    I feel so used, but it feels so good.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 25, 2008 8:40 AM GMT
    Will this add a whole new dimension to buddylisting? icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 25, 2008 1:56 PM GMT
    I've had a few in the past. But they all end up getting jealous for unknown reasons.

    I avoid that kind of "friendship" these days unless the "no strings attached" rule is mutual.

    As for health benefits, sure why not!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 25, 2008 2:19 PM GMT
    I've had 2 friends with benefits/fuck buddy arrangements. Both worked well while they worked.

    Neither of them were what I'd consider 'real' friends. Someone who is a true friend I'd not ever sleep with. The added baggage is dangerous, the potential confusion, etc. Better to maintain the friendship unless he and you are capable of immense amounts of honesty and you both are unafraid of the friendship's potential end.

    I consider 'friends with benefits' to have a particular meaning. It's someone with whom you're friendly and with whom you enjoy regular sex. Fuck buddy might imply a little less...cordial interaction? You just meet and do it, whereas the FWB you might chat about minutia for a bit before or afterward.

    I lost my first FWB to him getting too attached. The second was strictly a FB and he found Jesus, who apparently was better in bed than me and convinced my FB to pursue an engagement to his gf. (A gf I didn't know he had until I found out about his new religion and gf.)

    (God, this post makes me sound like a tramp.)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 25, 2008 2:30 PM GMT
    Yeah, too late. We already know you're a tramp, but I still likes ya. icon_wink.gif


    Yeah, the attachment thing is definitely the biggest obstacle to overcome, since sex can usually lead to a sort of attachment on either person's part. I'll admit, I'd probably do that, since if I'm willing to have sex with someone on a regular basis, I do feel something for them, whatever that could be, but of course if the guy was to point out to me that I was being clingy, I'd ease off and remind myself what it is we agreed on: friends with benefits.