Lesbians / Gay Men

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 22, 2012 7:22 AM GMT
    I hope this doesn't come off as a stupid narrative (I know how some of you biatches can be..haha), but I'm interested to hear others' thoughts on the subject.

    It seems to me that there is a disproportionate amount of gay men vs. lesbians in our society. If you think of things like Gay Pride Events, gay bars, gay organizations, cities with high gay populations (and when I say "gay" I mean both gay men and women), they are completely dominated by gay men. Out in the general public whether at the mall or any public event, I see many more gay male couples than lesbian/gay women couples.

    Even in the many jobs I've had, working with thousands of people, I've only known of one confirmed lesbian. I know of close to 20-30 confirmed gay men. And there were very few, if any, single females that one would suspect - they all either had boyfriends, husbands, and/or children. The only single females were, well, unattractive.

    Why do you think this is?

    - are lesbian women less likely to come out and live a lesbian lifestyle? Is it easier for them to stay in the closet because they don't necessarily have to face the same type of sexual "failure" like men do
    - is there some scientific fact that says there are more gay men than gay women?
    - are lesbians less likely to partake in public activities?
    - are lesbian couples less likely to be obvious or make themselves obvious because our society tends to accept the fact that straight women are likely to do things like shopping together


  • mizu5

    Posts: 2599

    Jan 22, 2012 7:26 AM GMT
    I Don't mean this rudely, but in.. lets jsut says 21 years of adutlhood, you have only met one lesbian?

    Or rather only one in a work place? Have you always lived in.. smaller/more conservative areas?

    I was the only gay kid in my year to come out, but I had 6 close lesbian friends... lol
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    Jan 22, 2012 7:28 AM GMT
    I have a lesbian sister and she's a fucking psycho ass bitch.

    And her girlfriend is an instigator.

    Just sayin'.
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    Jan 22, 2012 7:31 AM GMT
    Though science hasn't gotten to the point of identifying and isolating the biological factors, I think it's quite apparent to a great number of people that there are biological factors that produce homosexuality. If and when (and I'm positive it's a question of when) these factors are identified there could very well be a link to the sex of the individual and the occurrence of homosexuality.

    Kind of reminds me of autism, another case where the biological factors causing it have yet to be determined, yet it's clearly apparent it occurs more in males than females.

    Disclaimer: I am not calling homosexuality a disease or a disorder. So don't even go there icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 22, 2012 7:36 AM GMT
    mizu5 saidI Don't mean this rudely, but in.. lets jsut says 21 years of adutlhood, you have only met one lesbian?

    Or rather only one in a work place? Have you always lived in.. smaller/more conservative areas?

    I was the only gay kid in my year to come out, but I had 6 close lesbian friends... lol


    Actually, quite the opposite. I've lived most of my adulthood in the Philadephia, Baltimore, DC, San Fran, Sacramento, and Phoenix areas. And no, I haven't just met one lesbian in my adulthood. That was only one lesbian in my professional career. I've met several, not nearly as many gay men, outside of my professional life.

    I will add that even at an LPGA event back east, there were more gay men than lesbian women in attendance.
  • Generaleclect...

    Posts: 504

    Jan 22, 2012 7:36 AM GMT
    In my personal experience, I usually see more comfortably out lesbians than gay men. I always got the impression that it was more socially acceptable for women to be gay than men.

    As for pride parades and such - maybe gay men generally just enjoy showing their pride that way? The parades are fun and flashy, and we are the more visually-stimulated sex...
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    Jan 22, 2012 7:37 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidThough science hasn't gotten to the point of identifying and isolating the biological factors, I think it's quite apparent to a great number of people that there are biological factors that produce homosexuality. If and when (and I'm positive it's a question of when) these factors are identified there could very well be a link to the sex of the individual and the occurrence of homosexuality.

    Kind of reminds me of autism, another case where the biological factors causing it have yet to be determined, yet it's clearly apparent it occurs more in males than females.

    Disclaimer: I am not calling homosexuality a disease or a disorder. So don't even go there icon_wink.gif


    Interesting. I did not know that about autism.

    It would be interesting to see if there is anything scientific behind it.
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    Jan 22, 2012 7:41 AM GMT
    Generaleclectic saidIn my personal experience, I usually see more comfortably out lesbians than gay men. I always got the impression that it was more socially acceptable for women to be gay than men.

    As for pride parades and such - maybe gay men generally just enjoy showing their pride that way? The parades are fun and flashy, and we are the more visually-stimulated sex...


    You bring up a great point regarding the pride parades. Alot (not all) of gay men enjoy being flamboyant and showy (both masculine and effeminate), so that might explain the higher level of participation and visibility. Lesbian women might take on more of the straight male's behavioral patterns of being relatively more subdued.
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    Jan 22, 2012 7:44 AM GMT
    Gay men are just more 'in' than lesbians. We get lots more attention.

    I don't think there's any way to reason which is more populous.
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    Jan 22, 2012 7:49 AM GMT
    I think gay men are more apt to travel in schools and lesbians are like betta. Sorry for the fish reference (lol) but I'm starting an aquarium and wanted to know if I could mix my gays with my lesbian...I mean minnows with my betta. Apparently you can btw.
  • Generaleclect...

    Posts: 504

    Jan 22, 2012 9:05 AM GMT
    EastCoastNAZ said
    Generaleclectic saidIn my personal experience, I usually see more comfortably out lesbians than gay men. I always got the impression that it was more socially acceptable for women to be gay than men.

    As for pride parades and such - maybe gay men generally just enjoy showing their pride that way? The parades are fun and flashy, and we are the more visually-stimulated sex...


    You bring up a great point regarding the pride parades. Alot (not all) of gay men enjoy being flamboyant and showy (both masculine and effeminate), so that might explain the higher level of participation and visibility. Lesbian women might take on more of the straight male's behavioral patterns of being relatively more subdued.


    Yep. That and the LGBT movement is split by gender. Gays and lesbians really are in two different places politically, and it shows in our organizations, events, and even how gays and lesbians treat each other in daily life.

    I think we as men tend to be spoiled about our place in society. Our opinion counts most - it always has, and maybe that's why we're more vocal and visible.

    (Hate to say it, Beyonce, but you know *men* really rule the world.)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 22, 2012 9:21 AM GMT
    Maybe it's just location? I work with and know more lesbians; recently got in a little trouble outing one on accident.
    I think it's because they aren't noticed as much and don't feel the need to congregate in gayborhoods.
    You see two woman together you don't automatically think gay or even wonder.
    Plus...isn't there more open lesbians on TV, music and all other public venues? Doesn't that correlate to there being more of them or are their balls just bigger?
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    Jan 22, 2012 9:54 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidI've always noticed this too.

    I wonder if there is a biological element to this? We're all female as developing embryos in the womb until certain hormones kick in (thus, resulting in a change in gender to become male). Maybe there is something correlated with this transformation and a higher incidence of male homosexuality? I'm just hypothesizing but I bet there is something related to it all.


    MMM, you never cease to amaze me with your knowledge. I think you bring up an excellent point that has alot of logic to it.
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    Jan 22, 2012 10:09 AM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidMaybe it's just location? I work with and know more lesbians; recently got in a little trouble outing one on accident.
    I think it's because they aren't noticed as much and don't feel the need to congregate in gayborhoods.
    You see two woman together you don't automatically think gay or even wonder.
    Plus...isn't there more open lesbians on TV, music and all other public venues? Doesn't that correlate to there being more of them or are their balls just bigger?


    I don't have the slightest idea why I think this, but for some reason, it just seems logical that TX would have a pretty high lesbian population. Again, no idea why I think that.
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    Jan 22, 2012 10:37 AM GMT
    I'm sure this isn't real proof of any position on this matter, but I decided to use Plenty of Fish to test this theory.

    I searched for Men seeking Men and Women seeking Women within 35 miles of where I live. To make it more precise I set it so profiles without images would also be included.

    For the Men seeking Men there were 558 results.

    For the Women seeking Women there were 600+ results , and 600 is POF's limit on how much people it will tell you there are....so who knows what that number really is.

    so I had to adjust it to 25 miles:

    Men seeking Men = 502.

    Women seeking Women = STILL 600+ results.

    okay let's go down to everyone in a 15 mile radius , surely there won't be 600+ lesbians this time

    Men seeking Men = 294
    Women seeking Women = 406
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 22, 2012 2:22 PM GMT
    Tina Fey said women would rule the world... If one day they stopped irrationally hating each other.

    Lesbians are just more insular than gay men. More jealous, more submersive, more manipulative, more cliques.

    It's funny... It's the one trait men retain. Even the extremely effeminate ones never hate each other as much as the average woman does.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 22, 2012 4:35 PM GMT
    To the OP; go to some of these places...


    http://www.azcentral.com/ent/nightlife/articles/2007/08/29/20070829nightlesbian.html
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 22, 2012 4:37 PM GMT
    We all know some gay men that were married before they admitted their true sexuality and came out of the closet. I think with lesbians, this happens much more and from that marriage many of them have children. I think this helps them go unnoticed more in society. I am sure the single guy that has reached a certain age and has never been married and has no children has more suspicion on him concerning sexual orientation than a lesbian that was once married and has children.
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    Jan 22, 2012 5:02 PM GMT
    Really? At my job alone, there are way more lesbians than gay men. As a matter of fact, I made a joke asking did the materials for the building come from the island of lesbos.

    And for a while, when I first came out, I ran into way more lesbians than gay men. I also associated with them more than gay men.

    I've always thought that there were more lesbians than gay men do to less stigma in being a lesbian, and how many straight women that I have run across that have made out and had experimented with other women.
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    Jan 22, 2012 5:05 PM GMT
    It seems that gay men are far more visible in the world than the rest of those falling into the LGBTQA spectrum, and there are cultural reasons for this I think. It goes back quite some time and it ultimately stems from the fact that society has always been more male-focused in general, women remaining more obscure. I definitely know more gay men than lesbians, but I think that's only because I make attempts to meet gay men as potential dates rather than seek out the gender that I'm not sexually attracted to.

    I imagine that the pool of lesbians in the world is really quite large, but is distinctly less visible. We see lesbians falling more often into the category of generic LGBT culture rather than any sort of unique "lesbian culture"; on the other hand, we see gay men having their own "gay male culture", filled with bars, bathhouses, gyms and clubs, high culture and visibility in the performing arts and fashion world, distinct subcultures (bears, twinks, leather, daddy/son, etc.) and drag shows.
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    Jan 22, 2012 6:02 PM GMT
    Lesbians are everywhere, people just don't look twice when two girls are holding hands as opposed to two guys holding hands. People just right it off as "oh they're BFFs". Whats a girl to do? icon_confused.gif
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    Jan 22, 2012 6:10 PM GMT
    Claystation saidLesbians are everywhere, people just don't look twice when two girls are holding hands as opposed to two guys holding hands. People just right it off as "oh they're BFFs". Whats a girl to do? icon_confused.gif


    Claystation is a hot dyke.
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    Jan 22, 2012 6:13 PM GMT
    Haaretz said

    Claystation is a hot dyke.


    well, women do like me icon_mad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 22, 2012 6:15 PM GMT
    Claystation said
    Haaretz said

    Claystation is a hot dyke.


    well, women do like me icon_mad.gif


    They don't really like YOU all that much they just like yer cute shoes an aweful lot....
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    Jan 22, 2012 6:16 PM GMT
    Cash said

    They don't really like YOU all that much they just like yer cute shoes an aweful lot....


    can you blame them?