I apologize for creating another type of this thread but...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 23, 2012 5:01 AM GMT
    I am getting mixed signals from a guy. Alright so for the first time in nine months or so I reactivated an account I have on a dating site (obviously updated it) and started talking to two guys.

    One guy who lives fairly close to the UCONN campus...really sweet guy...went on a date this past friday and had an absolute blast.

    The second guy (who I actually chatted with first) is the one giving me mixed signals. He is the one who messaged me on the site first saying he was interested in me...we chatted on the site..seemed like a nice kid and we exchanged numbers. He is a grad student here who isn't out yet. His friends back home know he is gay but his friends at school and his family do not know yet. He said he wanted to break the ice to his friends and family by introducing his boyfriend which on some level i guess makes sense.

    So we go back and forth initiating text conversations. Chat a bit..flirt a bit, etc. Now we were supposed to meet up on the day I moved back in to school and he said he had plans with another friend that day and he would let me know. He texted me in the early afternoon canceling but said he wanted to see me. I was fine with it. I asked if he was available this past thursday and he said he would let me know.

    Wednesday we skyped a little bit and he said he was going to the basketball game and that this weekend he was going back home. He texted me thursday night saying he had dinner with a few friends in the same building I live at and asked how i was which i found incredibly strange.

    So on friday before my date i texted him saying i hope he had fun at the game with his friends and hope his drive home was alright (he's from Boston so it is a bit of a drive) and said if he was interested in meeting up in the near future to let me know. He hasn't messaged me back.

    i don't know, maybe I am over analyzing this. I am more annoyed than anything. The guy i went on a date with this friday is really cute and we had great chemistry, but I wanted to see if the second guy would be a better fit or not.

    So...what do you guys think? He avoiding me? Or am I just over analyzing things?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 23, 2012 5:28 AM GMT
    I think you could just walk away quietly from this; if he wanted to be with you he'd easily contact you.
    I think you're a little enamoured with him (which is a wonderful thing), and look at how you've been; very open and interested. Don't settle for anything less than this.

    -Doug
  • Generaleclect...

    Posts: 504

    Jan 23, 2012 5:47 AM GMT
    Well that's the thing about digital communication - there could be any number of reasons a person doesn't respond to a message.

    The only surefire way to know would be to just ask him, but if the vibe doesn't seem right... maybe he's not interested.

    People can be fickle when it comes to phone and online chat. Meh.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 23, 2012 5:56 AM GMT
    No, you are not overanalyzing things. The guy sending mixed signals isnt being considerate. I would let him go for a while. Let him cool his heels. Go with the guy you have already seen.
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    Jan 23, 2012 2:22 PM GMT
    Thanks for the advice guys, appreciate it. I guess since its an online thing I should have known better. I have just been out of the dating loop for awhile. The guy i went on a date with is again really cute and we had great chemistry, but I want to see what else is out there before committing. Maybe that is selfish of me.

    I am not going to attempt to contact the other guy, I'll wait and see if he reaches out. If so, great, if not I won't lose any sleep on it.