Oh dear

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    Jul 27, 2007 8:31 AM GMT
    Picture, if you will, the scene. I, your lovable narrator, had just finished a 12 hour shift at work, and I had to attend a party. I changed out of my work clothes, and went to the local Japanese restaurant for a quick dinner, then hopped in the car. I realised that I'd forgotten to bring a CD of photos that one of my friends was waiting on, so I dashed back to the shop to grab it, then jumped back into the car.

    This is where the story gets grim. Those of a nervous disposition should turn away now. Honestly. Read one of the obsessive ab posts instead.

    As I was jumping into the car, my gigantic belly, overstretched by tofu, so strained my trousers that the button flew off, bouncing off the windscreen, and the zipper jammed.

    Crap.

    I did what any sensible person would do in the situation. I drove around for 2 hours looking for an open clothes shop so I could replace the trousers, but it has caused me to form a resolution.

    No food ever again. Ever. If you see me so much as looking amorously at an apple, break my face.

    That is all.
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Jul 27, 2007 8:51 AM GMT
    Colm

    Couldn't you just wear your shirt untucked? No one would've seen your lack of button then.

    Lozx

    ps. also Yyou're a Gay man, don't you carry a sewing kit in your car?

    pps. Tofu is disgusting, serves you right ;)
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    Jul 27, 2007 3:35 PM GMT
    What had you squeezed yourself into sweetie? I mean you give your stats as 28" waist and a height of 6'1", so honestly you don't sound like someone who would be bursting at the seams.
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    Jul 27, 2007 4:28 PM GMT
    Very good story, well written too.

    I'm still laughing my socks off. :-))))))

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    Jul 27, 2007 4:37 PM GMT
    Between the story, and the "ps. also Yyou're a Gay man, don't you carry a sewing kit in your car?" I nearly just spit up my coffee.

    This place is, at times, even better than The Onion. :)
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    Jul 27, 2007 6:08 PM GMT
    Good story! From now on I will carry an extra pair of pants with me whereever i go.

    Now I'm switching back to the abs obsession postings.
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    Jul 30, 2007 12:38 AM GMT
    It was the fall of fasion when men stopped wearing belts!

    on a side note, Aneltope's pic reminds me of Stan Lee. :D I mean that in a good way.
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    Jul 30, 2007 12:57 AM GMT
    The solution is simple:

    431577231clothing153.jpg
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    Jul 30, 2007 1:11 AM GMT
    Is that a Man or a Woman in that Pic, OW? I can't decide.
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    Jul 30, 2007 1:20 AM GMT
    It's a Divine Androgyne off duty in drawstring pants.

    wow.jpg
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    Jul 30, 2007 1:46 AM GMT
    Where do you get these priceless pictures OW?
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    Jul 30, 2007 1:50 AM GMT
    My family album.

    Actually, googling images. The one immediately above is an alchemical image. The "Divine Androgyne" is a figure in classic alchemy, in which I have a lot of interest.
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    Jul 30, 2007 2:26 AM GMT
    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

    I thought it was someone who suffered from the same condition as Pat
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    Jul 30, 2007 2:27 AM GMT
    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

    dammit. RJ does need and edit button, or a preview button
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    Jul 30, 2007 9:10 AM GMT
    I'm a little confused. Is the solution drawstring pants, or to become a divine androgyne? Both seem rather drastic