FORUMS > All Things Gay Forum Rules

I see hotlisting as a one-sided determination. The lister is just indicating that he likes the looks of the one he lists.

Buddy-listing, on the otherhand, seems to me to indicate that there is some sort of "relationship" between the lister and the listee. They at least "know" each other...have exchanged some sort of communications and have established a friendly relationship at some level.

Therefore, when I get a notification from RJ telling me that someone has buddy-listed me and I have no knowledge whatsoever of this person, I am sort of like WTF?!?!

I can reciprocate and mutually buddy-list the fellow, but I can not decline and block his buddy-listing me. I think it gives a false impression if people go to the lister's profile and sees me listed as a buddy....and I dont even know the fellow!

Perhaps there needs to be a buddy-blocking option on RJ.

You wont show up on his buddy list unless you buddy list him, so there is no need block anyone.

Both people have to buddy list each other in order for you to show up on each others lists.

I never quite understood it either, maybe they just like us!!!

MikePhil saidYou wont show up on his buddy list unless you buddy list him, so there is no need block anyone.

Both people have to buddy list each other in order for you to show up on each others lists.

Oh thanks, MikePhil. I didnt realize that. It didnt say that on my notification.

I think you can thank MySpace and Facebook, etc., where some folks try to accumulate as many 'friends' as possible.

LoL!

yeh, I agree with Caslon on this one.

I don't hotlist, but when I buddy list I do it because I've had a meaningful conversation with the other guy.

I've only gotten buddy listed a couple of times without knowing who the other guy is; it ticked me off a bit, but I just didn't buddy list back.

Caslon4000 saidNEVERMIND

Caslon is channeling Emily Litella.

rawOOL saidLoL!


I've only gotten buddy listed a couple of times without knowing who the other guy is; it ticked me off a bit, but I just didn't buddy list back.

I agree with that.

But I have a feeling that guys who do that are newbies. On Adam-4-Adam, the buddy list is really just a bookmark list...sort of like the Hot List here. I don't acknowledge a notification of being listed as a buddy here (by reciprocating) unless there is some interchange or conversations over a period of time and I have never Buddy Listed someone here without requesting "permission" to do so and having reciprocation. Since it's a two-way street, unless both parties agree and want to...then I don't Buddy List that person.

But that's just me....

John

jprichva said
Caslon4000 said
NEVERMIND

Caslon is channeling Emily Litella.

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again.... bitch!"

Well, you know what they say about celebrities: everyone knows their name, but they don't know any of these people! And, their fans do admire them.
You are a bit of a RealJock celebrity, I mean look at that post tally! Perhaps these people are more admirers than buddies, but we don't have an Admirer List here on RealJock so Buddy Listing you works in a pinch.

I'm betting they were moved by your forum postings and identify with your past health battle or your re-newed zest for life. Personally, I've read most of your post and apart from the LOL cats, which I find really obnoxious, your post are very ensightful, intelligent, and above all else, friendly. I certainly like them, buddy!

I'm going to buddy list Caslon.
We've chatted in the past and we have quite a bit in common.

GuiltyGear said ...apart from the LOL cats, which I find really obnoxious...

... Oh, I crack me up! ...

Hey how does one post testimonials on their profiles? This is one thing I see on some people's profiles but I don't how it's done.

Anyone care to 'esplain it?'

muchmorethanmuscle saidHey how does one post testimonials on their profiles? This is one thing I see on some people's profiles but I don't how it's done.

Anyone care to 'esplain it?'

Go to the guy's profile and on the left in the menu, there is a link for "Add a testimonial"

Caslon4000 said[quote][cite]muchmorethanmuscle said[/cite]Hey how does one post testimonials on their profiles? This is one thing I see on some people's profiles but I don't how it's done.

Anyone care to 'esplain it?'

Go to the guy's profile and on the left in the menu, there is a link for "Add a testimonial"[/quote]

For ALL your informativeness I would BUDDY LIST you!!

Thanks, Caslon.

muchmorethanmuscle saidHey how does one post testimonials on their profiles? This is one thing I see on some people's profiles but I don't how it's done.

Anyone care to 'esplain it?'

See, I told you that just because you have good grammar and spelling, dose not mean you are the sharpest tool in the box

Go to their profile and on the left hand side there are some options, don't click on "report abuse" that would be the wrong one. Click on "add testimonial"

BTW, it is "explain" not "esplain"

Sorry, just messing with ya

I have this sudden urge..to go and start buddy listing everybody.
My Buddy,
my buddy

Caslon....

Now you're gonna be Buddy-listed by ... Everyone!

GQjock saidCaslon....

Now you're gonna be Buddy-listed by ... Everyone!

You just said that to try to get something going. Let me go find the "pox-on-you" LOLcat ...

Dude I'm gonna budy list you right. I like to buddy list guys who's pages make me laugh. You never know, they could end up turning out to be a cool guy that you would actually want to keep in touch with. Or they could turn out to be a psycho

slapaho18 saidDude I'm gonna budy list you right. I like to buddy list guys who's pages make me laugh. You never know, they could end up turning out to be a cool guy that you would actually want to keep in touch with. Or they could turn out to be a psycho

So it turns out you are like 30 years older than me. I don't see any point in buddy listing you. We prob have nothing to joke about. Good luck making new friends out there

slapaho18 said[quote][cite]slapaho18 said[/cite]Dude I'm gonna budy list you right. I like to buddy list guys who's pages make me laugh. You never know, they could end up turning out to be a cool guy that you would actually want to keep in touch with. Or they could turn out to be a psycho

So it turns out you are like 30 years older than me. I don't see any point in buddy listing you. We prob have nothing to joke about. Good luck making new friends out there

Oh, we could joke about your *bleep*. ...

Caslon4000 said[quote][cite]slapaho18 said[/cite][quote][cite]slapaho18 said[/cite]Dude I'm gonna budy list you right. I like to buddy list guys who's pages make me laugh. You never know, they could end up turning out to be a cool guy that you would actually want to keep in touch with. Or they could turn out to be a psycho

So it turns out you are like 30 years older than me. I don't see any point in buddy listing you. We prob have nothing to joke about. Good luck making new friends out there

Oh, we could joke about your *bleep*. ... [/quote]

If by bleep you mean prostate... The joke is on you my friend lol.

::tug tug::

Will you be my friend?

/wipes the snot from nose

Buckwheet said::tug tug::

Will you be my friend?

/wipes the snot from nose

Are you talking to me

I've only ever hot-listed someone... because I think they're hot.

But to be honest, this whole issue, for me, goes back to how one has a meaningful conversation on here to find people to buddy list. I mean, I post in forums but I'm really not sure what the etiquette is for meeting new people, chatting, etc. Which is sort of a problem as I joined in part to make buddies... :-)

fabionyc saidI've only ever hot-listed someone... because I think they're hot.

But to be honest, this whole issue, for me, goes back to how one has a meaningful conversation on here to find people to buddy list. I mean, I post in forums but I'm really not sure what the etiquette is for meeting new people, chatting, etc. Which is sort of a problem as I joined in part to make buddies... :-)

There is no "etiquette". You like someone's profile, or a comment they made in a forum, and you answer either publicly in the forum or by email. Simple.

I email with a few guys on here, some periodically, some regularly. I met them all that way.

slapaho18 said[quote][cite]Caslon4000 said[/cite][quote][cite]slapaho18 said[/cite][quote][cite]slapaho18 said[/cite]Dude I'm gonna budy list you right. I like to buddy list guys who's pages make me laugh. You never know, they could end up turning out to be a cool guy that you would actually want to keep in touch with. Or they could turn out to be a psycho

So it turns out you are like 30 years older than me. I don't see any point in buddy listing you. We prob have nothing to joke about. Good luck making new friends out there

Oh, we could joke about your *bleep*. ...

If by bleep you mean prostate... The joke is on you my friend lol.

No, I pulled my punch from saying, we could joke about your girth.

But we can joke about my prostate, go ahead, you first...

Yeah, I have no idea why anybody would buddy list someone that you haven't chatted with and are chatting to.

Hotlisting is for guys that you may think are hot...

Buddylisting is for guys that you chat with...

Why is that hard to understand? And I agree Cas..., there should be a blocking option.

Buckwheet said::tug tug::
Will you be my friend?
/wipes the snot from nose

slapaho18 said
Are you talking to me

/cue cheesy Italian accent
I dunno, are you talkin' to me? Are you talkin' TO ME?!

MikePhil said

BTW, it is "explain" not "esplain"

Sorry, just messing with ya

I know! I was doing my Desi Arnez impersonation from the "I Love Lucy Show." Hence the quotes.

I can't remember who half my buddies are. It happens sometimes, no big deal.

Sometimes I take pity on them and send them a signed autograph.

Hm... been buddylisted out of the blue a couple of times I think. No previous email exchange, no response to my query why, no forum interaction... but I don't mind. They're my future slaves once I get the world domination thing going.

It is a bit strange I must admit. On another website I was buddylisted by some 20 year old guy. I sent him an e-mail thanking him and introducing myself, and he never wrote back. That was even stranger (and rude).

I have a pretty cut n' dried policy of not buddy listing/responding to a buddy list request of anyone I haven't had at least some interaction with. Preferably in person, but an email convo will suffice.

Maybe they think it would be presumptuous to hotlist me, so they buddy instead? Or maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part.

I tested this theory with myspace and facebook. I tried to only myspace-friend people I actually know/knew, and on facebook I'll pretty much approve anyone who isn't scary/crazy. This very unscientific research yielded unreliable results, so I don't know why I even bothered mentioning it.

Flatly: email if you want to buddy-list, or just hotlist me because of my inherent natural midwestern heat. My Omah-otness, if you will.

Wait, you mean that this Buddy-List thing doesn't mean we're involved??? That we mean something to each other?? See, just like when I slept with you, it doesn't mean a damn thing to you does it!! You narcissistic, bastard. I hate you now!

...hmm, maybe there should be a Hate-List, I mean if we can have “meaningless” buddies why not a list of the guys we hate “with a passion”.

It really doesn't matter to me, buddy list away...
Just know that'll I'll be expecting presents at Christmas and on my Birthday

Some folks use buddy list to make a bookmark for interesting people. You won't see them on your profile and you won't see yourself on their profile page unless you also buddy list them. However, they can search by "Guys on My Buddy List" feature on the home page to view folks they've bookmarked or buddy listed.

MikePhil briefly touched on this, and I just wanted to add my 2.16 yen.

I just add whoever buddy lists me, hehe!

polobutt saidAnd I agree Cas..., there should be a blocking option.

Open your profile. Now scroll down to your "Mutual Buddie" list. Key word being "MUTUAL"

You see, it doesn't work unless both parties list each other.

Do you get it now


So why would anyone want a blocking option


If RJ were to listen to some of you guys, this site would resemble the cockpit of an aircraft. There would be buttons to block face-less, buttons to block pic-less, buttons to block the not so hot, buttons to block unverified, buttons to block those that have less than five photos. You would need a manual to work this site. Some of you need a manual already

It's like two children (lets say two boys five years old). One looks at the other, and the other boy starts crying. The father/mother asks "what's wrong" The boy says "he is looking at me" The father says "don't be silly, he is just looking at you" But the boy kicks up a stink "daddy, tell him to stop looking at me. I don't like him looking at me" The father says "stop looking at him" But the boy keeps looking, and it goes on and on and on and on.

That is what this, block the faceless, block that pic-less, block the not so hot, block the unverified, block old guys, block the young guys, how dare you Buddie list me, how dare you hot list me, how dare you email me, how dare you IM me, how dare you look at me, stuff sounds like to me.

There is one blocking option on this site and it is enough. I have never blocked anyone, although I have got some hate mail (no threats) and I don't believe I will ever need to block anyone. I certainly would never block a faceless, a pic-less, a old guy, a young guy, unverified, a hot guy, a not so hot guy. I wouldn't block anyone from Buddie listing me, or hotlisting me, or emailing me, or IMing me, or viewing my profile.

I think the only reason I would ever block guy is if he threatened me with violence, and even at that, I would probably take him on

It is just very childish. It is childishness gone out of control.

Mike

Ooops... I've just deleted two potential Asian buddies (I've never chatted with nor heard from before) without realizing all I needed to do was ignore the email. My bad.

It is even more elementary than Romper Room marketing 101. Shit, even Corky can figure this one out.

There should be an option that "permits" or "declines" a buddy list request in email format.

I have complained about it in the past. If RJ truly wanted to position itself as a respectable social networking site for the gay community, it would have taken care of this by now. If the character running this site took it seriously, and wanted to maintain a following while building even more ad revenue ... well, I won't preach.

Relationships are supposed to work two ways. Here, at RJ, it's apparent they don't. So, just keep turnin' 'em and burnin' 'em, big guy.

Tapper saidIt is even more elementary than Romper Room marketing 101. Shit, even Corky can figure this one out.

There should be an option that "permits" or "declines" a buddy list request in email format.

I have complained about it in the past. If RJ truly wanted to position itself as a respectable social networking site for the gay community, it would have taken care of this by now. If the character running this site took it seriously, and wanted to maintain a following while building even more ad revenue ... well, I won't preach.

Relationships are supposed to work two ways. Here, at RJ, it's apparent they don't. So, just keep turnin' 'em and burnin' 'em, big guy.

I agree with this post so much, I'm going to add you to my Buddy List, Hot List and vote you Man of The Day!

to be fair Tappy, they only show up if they are mutual buddies.

I treat buddy listing by people I don´t know the same way i treat winks: if I fancy the person who does it I find out more haha

Lostboy saidto be fair Tappy, they only show up if they are mutual buddies.

I treat buddy listing by people I don´t know the same way i treat winks: if I fancy the person who does it I find out more haha

Yes, but they still show up. To keep it simple, all RJ needs to do is give each member the option of accepting or declining BEFORE they show up as someone's buddy - viewable or not. Hell, I can't code for shit, but even I know how simple this is to fix.

Or, why not default this, call it the "Stalker" list, and create a whole new "Buddy" list frame?

to be fair big T, I´d prefer they hotlisted me, as you don´t win no prizes on RJ for being a buddy... I want to be the most hotlisted RJ person in Europe

I'm trying really REALLY hard to understand why anyone cares about this.

Really. I am.

"Stalker list"

Love it..

Most Stalked

It's possible to be someone's friend, and them not be yours.

Like, let's say there's this guy named Mike.

He's my friend.
But I'm not his friend.


It' sad. Probably unfair. And Mike is probably a jerk.

But whatever, right?

Well, if I accept that that's true, I suppose I can accept that you befriended Mike based on the photos and text in his profile without the tiniest amount of interaction with him... but would it be necessary for you to notify Mike that he's your friend?

On a side note, I just saw in your profile that you're from Edinburg, Texas. Now THAT's an accent I have to hear with my own ears!

Some guys use buddy listing like hot listing. Admiring silently.

Tapper, if we don't buddy list someone back, or if they buddy list us and we don't do the same, it doesn't show on the list of buddies on the profile.

At least, not on ours.

meninlove said
Some guys use buddy listing like hot listing. Admiring silently.

Tapper, if we don't buddy list someone back, or if they buddy list us and we don't do the same, it doesn't show on the list of buddies on the profile.

At least, not on ours.

That is correct. What I'm saying is to change it so that it shows up as a request vs. "xxxx has buddy listed you."

If you're new to the site, and don't know how it works, it's an instant turn off. God knows it's not explained well anywhere on the site - or if it is, it's not easily found. If it's a simple issue of semantics, it should be easy for the site admin. to fix.

It should read along the lines of, "xxxx would like to add you to his buddy list," and giving you the option of accepting or declining upon opening the automated message (think Facebook).

OK, now I get it. Good point Tapper.

-Doug

Lostboy said ... as you don´t win no prizes on RJ for being a buddy...

If I don't win no prizes, I want to know what I win.

Tapper said

Lostboy said ... as you don´t win no prizes on RJ for being a buddy...

If I don't win no prizes, I want to know what I win.

You get special treatment. Meat me in the back.



Did I misspell that do you think?

"You get special treatment. Meat me in the back.



Did I misspell that do you think?"

OMG Lostboy, ROFL!

I'll be honest and admit that when I joined the site, I buddy listed a few people. Wasn't really sure how the processed worked. I've also hot listed several guys, well there's a plethora of hot men on this site, and some were courteous enough to say thanks.


For me, it's harder to say hello to someone online than face to face, withoust sounding like some crazy stalker.

"Hi, I like your profile, please be my friend."

Not crazy at all is it?

"Perhaps there needs to be a buddy-blocking option on RJ."
____________________________________________
Perhaps there needs to be a cranky old lady-blocking option on RJ.
Has anybody told you that this is all pretend ?
If somebody has buddy listed me, I take it as a compliment and go on about my business.
I'll bet you're the cranky old lady who yells at kids to get off your lawn (if you have a lawn).

My Buddy

Nights are long since you went away.
I think about you all through the day,
My buddy, my buddy,
Nobody quite so true.

Miss your voice, the touch of your hand
Just long to know that you understand,
My buddy, my buddy,
Your buddy misses you.

A beautiful song... especially when The Flirtations sang it.

I buddy list people if I think they sound cool or interesting. You never know who you might meet!

to me buddy listing shows that i find the person interesting and would like to be their buddy, i think its a pretty obvious use

*Buddy lists Calson12000*

I routinely buddy list other HIV pos guys. We pariahs need all the community we can get our hands on...

I buddy list guys I think are fun and cool, when it's mutual, that's great... but isn't required.

However, I "hot list" guys who I think are exceptional humans, guys who are hot in a multi-faceted kinda way. Guys who I would want to lay around, eat ice cream and talk life with. Guys who I would go to for advice if I had a dilemma. It doesn't have to be reciprocated... it's an expression of the esteem I hold for them.

"I routinely buddy list other HIV pos guys. We pariahs need all the community we can get our hands on..."
_____________________________________________
Don't put yourself down.
Most all of my boy friends have been HIV positive.
If I had thought that HIV positive guys were a pariah, I would have missed out on some really wonderful times.

It's hard enough to find compatible guys without rejecting a bunch of them just because of their HIV status.

And, anybody who would reject you because of your HIV status isn't worth having, in the first place.

rockjockdad saidI have this sudden urge..to go and start buddy listing everybody.
My Buddy,
my buddy

Haha:

Tapper said

Lostboy saidto be fair Tappy, they only show up if they are mutual buddies.

I treat buddy listing by people I don´t know the same way i treat winks: if I fancy the person who does it I find out more haha

Yes, but they still show up. To keep it simple, all RJ needs to do is give each member the option of accepting or declining BEFORE they show up as someone's buddy - viewable or not. Hell, I can't code for shit, but even I know how simple this is to fix.

Or, why not default this, call it the "Stalker" list, and create a whole new "Buddy" list frame?

Having an Accept or Decline option would be great! But if you decline someone, I would want that person to know that he was declined. (Insert maniacal laugh here. )

Cheers,
Keith

Musclequest said But if you decline someone, I would want that person to know that he was declined.

Because a day without pointlessly hurting someone's feelings is like a day without sunshine.

jprichva said

Musclequest said But if you decline someone, I would want that person to know that he was declined.

Because a day without pointlessly hurting someone's feelings is like a day without sunshine.

Exactly. (Well that's just an added bonus)

Plus it may teach someone not to tread where they do not belong. It let's them know right off the bat that this person has no interest in being "buddys" with them.
To me, a "buddy" listing should be mutual. It means that you have had past positive conversations and Emails with one another, and have become friends with them. I find it's a very personal thing, as well as an honour to be asked by a "friend"

Some of these daft fools list others as "buddys" to bolster the way they appear to others on the site. Bloody pathetic.

Cheers,
Keith

Well I agree with Cas's original premise. I don't buddy list somebody unless there's a reason..... and it is odd those who buddy list you and you've never heard from them before.... it happened this morning I see.

Umm i dont see a problem....I think its a great way to bookmark people/get to know people.
I don't find it creepy at all. I would be flattered, lol.

And I've done it to a person, because im new and didnt know how hot-list worked. >.>

Anyway, I don't see how this can make someone uncomfortable, seeing as its not like its insta-rape or something. Melodramatic much?

Quirky saidUmm i dont see a problem....I think its a great way to bookmark people/get to know people.
I don't find it creepy at all. I would be flattered, lol.

And I've done it to a person, because im new and didnt know how hot-list worked. >.>

Anyway, I don't see how this can make someone uncomfortable, seeing as its not like its insta-rape or something. Melodramatic much?

Ok, you're an idiot. ...