My theory on suffering, and how beneficial it can be if you know how to go about doing it correctly. (I might have to put this in 2 posts, seeing as though there's a character limit on how many words I can put in one post).

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    Jan 26, 2012 12:55 AM GMT
    Ok, so I think first off, I'm gonna define (in my terms) what I mean by suffering:

    Suffering- An internal conflict that consists of mind, body, and soul, that can be used to better ones outlook on life in general. This excludes: Self-mutilation (like cutting ones self), Alcoholism, I think you get the just.

    Ok, now, I am anti-society on some things. Now, I'm not completely against society, society is what creates culture, it's what makes things run, society isn't a bad thing in some aspects. I'm finding though that, in a sense, society has become very contradictory as far as values go. The one thing that I hate the most though is this idea of straying away from anything that will make you "suffer."

    Now again, I'll be realistic, there are varying degrees. I mean, obviously I'm anti-cutting yourself...everything I described above. I mean, I'm not saying that you have to go to the extreme, no. If anything, I don't wish that on anyone. But, I find that the way society goes about teaching happiness, that in a sense, it's kind of a false happiness.

    When every single one of us was born, we were all taught, at a very young age to stay away from things that hurt us. And again, it's true, there are things out there that can do severe damage to us, I'm not denying that at all. I'm talking more about experiences, and how we deal with them. For example, you loose your job, and you're on welfare trying to feed a family of....oh I dunno, 6, ok? Now, our gut reaction is to kind of be down. Here you have a situation, where, you've worked for this company for...like 15 years, and they have to downsize, and you just happened to be one of the people they had to lay-off (Lay-off...what a dumb term. I won't sugarcoat it for ya...you're basically out of a job). And, somehow, you have to feed a family that is huge. You think you're worthless because you're on welfare. And, again, I'm not saying this reaction isn't normal. It's completely normal to feel this way. And, in society, you are kind of looked down upon because of your situation, which creates more feelings of hurt. But, who told you that you had to feel this way? What yourself? Other people? No...no one said you had to feel this way. See, what boggles my mind is how much control you really do have in your life. You have a choice, from the time you wake up till the time you go to bed on how your day is going to be. You can choose to say "Well, I'm on welfare." Or "Well, this bellyfat, no matter what the hell I do to get rid of it is JUST NOT GOING AWAY!" Or "These people are never going to like me." Or, you can choose to be content with what you have. You can choose to say "I have a belly, and I'm gonna flaunt this baby to the beach", you can choose to say "Welfare? Nah, just temporary assistance till I find another job." you can choose to say "Friends? Who needs them? I'm quite happy with myself. If there are people who wanna join me? Great, but really, I can do just fine by myself."

    Now, I'm gonna kind of expand about my life (I know, I'm sorry, and I know I talk about my life like it's the next best thing next to sliced bread, but it's the only example I can think of to prove my point). I am the oldest of all my brothers. My Mom and Dad divorced when me and my 2nd oldest brother were very young. My Dad works his ass off to get food on the table for me and my 2 younger brothers. There's 4 of us brothers (including myself). The 2nd oldest is in college, I am not. I was in college for a time, but I was pursuing a career that first off, I didn't understand what I was doing half the time. And secondly, it was boring...to say the least. The 2nd oldest is in college, and has about 1 1/2 more years till he gets his college degree. Now, I have to give my 2nd oldest credit, he worked hard to get where he's at. He got a scholarship for at least his first 4 years in college, and has been maintaining it. He has utilized everything he could to get where he's at, the only thing that was kind of stopping him was he was short about 1,000-2,000 dollars. He asked my Father to give him the rest to go to college, and my Father is working 2 jobs now to help pay off the loan that my Father had to cosign as well. But still, facts are facts, and my brother is working his butt off to get that degree.

    If I really wanted to, I could start scouring out scholarships (I should be eligible for some), and I could possibly get some grants as well. And, my Dad and I already talked about this, and Dad said he wouldn't mind trying to get me through college, but I declined on his offer. And, I declined to hold off on college till I get a job. There's a reason why I did these things. First off, I just need a job, period. I can't go to college without a car. I have a car I can drive, but I don't have an income to pay for gas for the car that I can go to college in. So, I want to get a job first. If I have some source of income, I can pay things off while I'm in college. Then, I'm gonna get a car. I don't wanna drive the "Family Car" because, that thing eats gas, plus getting my own car will teach me discipline in how I spend my money (because of insurance and gas). And, I declined on Dad's offer only because I want to get my college degree knowing that I was the one that truly worked for every bit of that degree. Hell, I told myself that when I get at least my Bachelors, I'm literally gonna carry that thing everywhere I go. I'm not kidding, I will do that. I'll even have a "Bachelor's" Party....seriously! Why not?

    The point is, don't be afraid to suffer a little bit. You learn so much about love, about the world around you, you even notice things that most people don't notice and could care less to notice. Be different, be an individual, be outspoken. If someone you confided in at one time doesn't like you or uses you, just say "You know what, they're missing out. I'm an awesome person, sucks to be them." Sex, drugs, alcohol, these all provide temporary happiness, but they are not the end all, be all of your existance either. "It is through suffering that one gains great strength of mind, soul, and body." Don't be persuaded by external influences (and I'm not just talking about people.) Don't listen to the radio, don't turn on the television, don't spend your days doing meaningless tasks. There's too much garbage in this world, and you know what they say "Garbage in, garbage out." The people you hang around, the things that go inside that ear of yours, all of this kind of defines who you are. After all, everyone has a subconcious mind. Conciously you may not be aware of it, but you may have watched Hannah Montana, and you might be becoming a Hannah Montana, without you even realizing it. That's why most of my days are spent in peace. The biggest thing I want to project to people is that peace is possible. You can be your own person. You can do your own thing...and not feel ashamed, because you're beautiful! Be nice, suffer, and make the most out of your life. Who knows? Maybe one day, you can save a life....one day at a time.
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    Jan 26, 2012 12:56 AM GMT
    Cool, I was able to fit everything I wanted to fit on just one post! WHOOT!
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    Jan 26, 2012 1:12 AM GMT
    Jaken saidCool, I was able to fit everything I wanted to fit on just one post! WHOOT!


    Anyone can write an enormous amount of text. It takes skill to put as much meaning into as few words as possible so that it has a chance for others to take the time out of their day to read it. You have to consider your audience's time, or you will get a lot of:
    TL;DR (too long; didn't read)
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    Jan 26, 2012 3:42 AM GMT
    You're pretty much right, although I never would have taken the time to write all that out and didn't read it word for word. Suffering is crucial to human existence- without it there would be no point in us being here. The people that take their circumstances in stride and make the best of their lives regardless are the ones that are rewarded in the end.
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    Jan 26, 2012 3:54 AM GMT
    wolfpackbuddy saidYou're pretty much right, although I never would have taken the time to write all that out and didn't read it word for word. Suffering is crucial to human existence- without it there would be no point in us being here. The people that take their circumstances in stride and make the best of their lives regardless are the ones that are rewarded in the end.


    Thank you for at least looking at it.

    I know...you would be amazed at how fast I think...even for myself it's crazy. It's one of those things where it's a blessing, but a curse at the same time. I can come up with fast ideas and solutions, but I'm also more proned to error in my logic (which is evident in some of my forum posts...which I laugh at anyways). I tell people I think in paragraphs...which they laugh at sometimes, but it's true...lol.
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    Jan 26, 2012 4:09 AM GMT
    BOOKMARK! i wanna read this but its so long some im bookmarking it by posting something. lol
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    Jan 26, 2012 4:46 AM GMT
    I'd simplify it by saying that while suffering is mostly inevitable, the issue is whether you learn from the experience and accept it and grow through it or waste the rest of your life ignoring it, denying it, or just trying to avoid it.
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    Jan 26, 2012 6:15 AM GMT
    Jaken saidCool, I was able to fit everything I wanted to fit on just one post! WHOOT!


    I've come to a similar understanding myself, but not sure how to compact my major theoretical ideas into few enough words that wouldn't get lost in forums after a minute of posting. Been on this site since it's conception. I know how these things go.
  • dancedancekj

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    Jan 26, 2012 6:38 AM GMT
    Suffering with purpose and benefit = totally worth it in the end.
    Meaningless suffering with no intent or purpose? Agony and torture.
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    Jan 26, 2012 6:39 AM GMT
    It was kinda long.
    But good topic.

    I don't think people need to suffer... We're conditioned to think the way we do.

    Has anyone read A New Earth by Ekhart Tole?

    I found it so eye opening to understanding the human ego and the actual insanity of our minds. Has really turned me into a chill guy. I don't stress out much. Have rarely cried the past few years. Haven't had a reason too! Life is whatever you perceive it to be.
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    Jan 26, 2012 9:55 AM GMT
    I dont really have an opinion on it myself.. i just think suffering is a part of life like pain and love etc... Ive read plenty of theories about suffering leading you to a cleansing and bringing you into heaven and all that.. mainly from many religious viewpoints that is so... but there are so many viewpoints on it though
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    Jan 26, 2012 10:58 AM GMT
    I commend you on practicing introspection and agree with much of what you've said. I might express it more succinctly by simply stating that the spirit like muscle grows under strain. As an alcoholic I would also assert that the recovering alcoholic's requirement to quietly face life with all its joy and pain is also a worthy "suffering." My experience with emotional pain has been that it no longer becomes suffering but instead another essential experience adding richness and depth to this life. Best of luck with your work and college. icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 26, 2012 2:58 PM GMT
    lol, Jaken, you're too much sometimes.

    You said this, "Suffering- An internal conflict that consists of mind, body, and soul, that can be used to better ones outlook on life in general."

    Then contradicted yourself by saying this,

    "You can choose to say "Well, I'm on welfare." Or "Well, this bellyfat, no matter what the hell I do to get rid of it is JUST NOT GOING AWAY!" Or "These people are never going to like me." Or, you can choose to be content with what you have. You can choose to say "I have a belly, and I'm gonna flaunt this baby to the beach", you can choose to say "Welfare? Nah, just temporary assistance till I find another job." you can choose to say "Friends? Who needs them? I'm quite happy with myself. If there are people who wanna join me? Great, but really, I can do just fine by myself."


    I think the first quote is unhealthy, and the second quote IS healthy. icon_wink.gif


    -Doug

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    Jan 26, 2012 9:42 PM GMT
    Jaken said:

    The biggest thing I want to project to people is that peace is possible. You can be your own person. You can do your own thing...and not feel ashamed, because you're beautiful! Be nice, suffer, and make the most out of your life. Who knows? Maybe one day, you can save a life....one day at a time.

    I like your insight and you already have the beginning of a "fine mind." I hope you will be able to start college as soon as possible, but you can fine-tune your philosophy by reading works by other fine minds. May you continue to inspire and think big and deep.

    Have you ever read "The Road Less Travelled" by M. Scott Peck? The first sentence in this great work is: "Life is difficult." Peace.
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    Jan 27, 2012 1:08 AM GMT
    Jaken saidOk, so I think first off, I'm gonna define (in my terms) what I mean by suffering:

    Suffering- An internal conflict that consists of mind, body, and soul, that can be used to better ones outlook on life in general. This excludes: Self-mutilation (like cutting ones self), Alcoholism, I think you get the just.

    Ok, now, I am anti-society on some things. Now, I'm not completely against society, society is what creates culture, it's what makes things run, society isn't a bad thing in some aspects. I'm finding though that, in a sense, society has become very contradictory as far as values go. The one thing that I hate the most though is this idea of straying away from anything that will make you "suffer."


    =

    Jaken said (edited version) (I define)...Suffering (as) An internal conflict ...of mind, body, and soul...use(ful)... (for improving your) outlook on life...(in a) society (which) has...contradictory...values...(including)...The idea of straying...from (causes of) suffer(ing).


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    Jan 27, 2012 8:42 AM GMT
    too long. I hope this is not some variation on "pain makes you more like Jesus"