GUYS..,,,, am i ok..? or there is something to be fixed. . .

  • kemoze

    Posts: 390

    Jan 26, 2012 5:29 PM GMT
    i dont fall for anyone i meet, but when i like someone, i fall too fast, especially if i feel like he is attracted to me too. when i hit realjock for the first time in 2010 i got a lot of experience as i like reading all forums. but i still dont know.. why when i love someone, i think about him all the time.. i really mean 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. even when i am at work. when i am in a meeting, when i am eating, when i am with friends and i do crazy things like supscribing in a love sites which helps out in keeping ur relationship healthy. i dont know if i am the onlyone .. or its normal..

    guys please advise me.? is this ok. or shall i slow things down.. ? and when u guys love someone how u think about them ..

    PLEASE.. DONT MAKE FUN OF ME..
  • BmwKid92

    Posts: 1097

    Jan 26, 2012 5:32 PM GMT
    mmmm i just think your really sensitive broski
  • kemoze

    Posts: 390

    Jan 26, 2012 5:43 PM GMT
    Bmwkid92 saidmmmm i just think your really sensitive broski


    i am sensitive only when i fall in love.. but in general i am ok..

    i mean i am so sensitive only with the one i love but i always avoid fighting and drama.. its all about listening to music and fantasizing me and the one i love together.. it feels like me and him only on this planet.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 26, 2012 5:50 PM GMT
    I think your feelings are amplified because you are in a repressive culture that doesn't permit your self expression. As well, when you find someone and fall for them there might be a bit of swimmer's desperation; finding a lifebuoy in a turbulent sea.

    Putting those ideas aside, you share what many people, straight gay or Bi experience. It's how you handle these feelings that determine whether they're healthy or not.

    Does that help?

    warmly,

    -Doug
  • kemoze

    Posts: 390

    Jan 26, 2012 6:43 PM GMT
    meninlove said I think your feelings are amplified because you are in a repressive culture that doesn't permit your self expression. As well, when you find someone and fall for them there might be a bit of swimmer's desperation; finding a lifebuoy in a turbulent sea.

    Putting those ideas aside, you share what many people, straight gay or Bi experience. It's how you handle these feelings that determine whether they're healthy or not.

    Does that help?

    warmly,

    -Doug


    first of all. you are amazing guy here on realjock..and thanks for giving all these advice.

    then. infact, u might be right, i have never been able to express my feelings and when i fall its like life has been lighter, brighter, warmer and i see the face of the one i love everywhere.. although i might havent seen him in the real life..

    for example. i loved someone before who was living in south africa. never met. but we talked and chatted online enough to know everything about each other.
    but cuz of the distance eventhought i believe that LOVE KNOWS NO DISTANCE. we agreed to put end. cuz he was dying during the whole thing.

    and now .. i think i have some feelings for an american guy. and again.. same story.. as u know i started preparing my visa to australia and i like a guy who lives in US.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 26, 2012 6:49 PM GMT
    "and now .. i think i have some feelings for an american guy. and again.. same story.. as u know i started preparing my visa to australia and i like a guy who lives in US. "

    lol, the heart is like an educational complex toy sometimes, just when you think you've figured out the rules, they seem to change.

    So, you move to Aussie-land and invite Mr USA to visit. icon_wink.gif You're so Global! icon_wink.gif

  • kemoze

    Posts: 390

    Jan 26, 2012 7:04 PM GMT
    meninlove said "and now .. i think i have some feelings for an american guy. and again.. same story.. as u know i started preparing my visa to australia and i like a guy who lives in US. "

    lol, the heart is like an educational complex toy sometimes, just when you think you've figured out the rules, they seem to change.

    So, you move to Aussie-land and invite Mr USA to visit. icon_wink.gif You're so Global! icon_wink.gif




    well. he likes australia too much and he even mentioned that he would like to start all over again there ..

    but i still need to know.. do u think of ur man. the same way i think of the one i love. .,,, ALL THE TIME.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 26, 2012 9:00 PM GMT
    Yes there is an issue, and sadly, it is all "at home." For some reason you need to validate yourself by other people's approval. Even NOT in regards to love, you are needing to validate your feelings by getting other people to tell you that "you are okay." But if you keep doing that, you will never ever be happy because you don't love you, first and foremost. No ones opinion about you should mean more to you than you. In these relationships you get into, you are actually USING them to make you feel better about yourself, which is impossible for anyone else (even your mom and pop) to make you feel. if you do not feel good about you, you will continue to chase people away because they cannot fill that void. They will either become tired of filling a bucket with a hole in it, or you will turn them off by asking too much from them or they will begin to resent you because you ask them too many times or don't "believe" them. You will continually set yourself up for failure until you learn that only you can fill that void.

    There are no pedestals. if you put anyone on one, that means you are lesser and you have higher expectations for them than you have of yourself. Why would anyone want to be with someone who is basically telling them outright "I'm a loser" or "I am not as good as you." If that's the case, I would move on and find someone who IS good for me. And if you put yourself on a pedestal and become too good for everyone else, you are doing the exact same thing.

    Get rid of all the pedestals in life... boyfriends, family, tv heros, sports guys, male bodybuilder models, etc... and start to love yourself for all the imperfections you are... because that is all anyone is... A big pile of imperfections trying to do their best.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 26, 2012 9:12 PM GMT
    GymDudeVegas saidYes there is an issue, and sadly, it is all "at home." For some reason you need to validate yourself by other people's approval. Even NOT in regards to love, you are needing to validate your feelings by getting other people to tell you that "you are okay." But if you keep doing that, you will never ever be happy because you don't love you, first and foremost. No ones opinion about you should mean more to you than you. In these relationships you get into, you are actually USING them to make you feel better about yourself, which is impossible for anyone else (even your mom and pop) to make you feel. if you do not feel good about you, you will continue to chase people away because they cannot fill that void. They will either become tired of filling a bucket with a hole in it, or you will turn them off by asking too much from them or they will begin to resent you because you ask them too many times or don't "believe" them. You will continually set yourself up for failure until you learn that only you can fill that void.

    There are no pedestals. if you put anyone on one, that means you are lesser and you have higher expectations for them than you have of yourself. Why would anyone want to be with someone who is basically telling them outright "I'm a loser" or "I am not as good as you." If that's the case, I would move on and find someone who IS good for me. And if you put yourself on a pedestal and become too good for everyone else, you are doing the exact same thing.

    Get rid of all the pedestals in life... boyfriends, family, tv heros, sports guys, male bodybuilder models, etc... and start to love yourself for all the imperfections you are... because that is all anyone is... A big pile of imperfections trying to do their best.


    Good answer!!! seriously, u have nailed it.... just like i would nail you!!! LOL...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 26, 2012 9:13 PM GMT
    ok here is my advice to you, focus! its ok to feel what you are feeling, but don't let it consume your thoughts and perception, focus on the moment and stop imagining the future it has not happened, give 100% of your self to the moment.
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    Jan 26, 2012 9:48 PM GMT
    kemoze said ..when i am eating..

    =P


    tumblr_lhrjgokmci1qdot54o1_400.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 26, 2012 9:58 PM GMT
    kemoze said
    meninlove said "and now .. i think i have some feelings for an american guy. and again.. same story.. as u know i started preparing my visa to australia and i like a guy who lives in US. "

    lol, the heart is like an educational complex toy sometimes, just when you think you've figured out the rules, they seem to change.

    So, you move to Aussie-land and invite Mr USA to visit. icon_wink.gif You're so Global! icon_wink.gif




    well. he likes australia too much and he even mentioned that he would like to start all over again there ..

    but i still need to know.. do u think of ur man. the same way i think of the one i love. .,,, ALL THE TIME.

    lol, yes I think of Bill all the time, and he thinks of me. There is a difference here. We're in a solidly built reciprocal relationship.

    In your case, I think you probably think too much about your love, but I also think that's to be expected considering the environment you're in.

    I wonder if others know you are in Kuwait?

    -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 26, 2012 10:44 PM GMT
    try not to think ideally of things. After you fantasize, come back down to earth with a "I only know 30% of him, there could be any number of flaws in the 70% unknown that would make him unworthy of my obsession.".

    Too much daydreaming sets you up for a shock when you learn of his imperfections (everyone has some).
  • commoncoll

    Posts: 1222

    Jan 26, 2012 10:55 PM GMT
    You are infatuated. It will end or lessen in another two months or so.
  • kemoze

    Posts: 390

    Jan 26, 2012 11:23 PM GMT
    GymDudeVegas saidYes there is an issue, and sadly, it is all "at home." For some reason you need to validate yourself by other people's approval. Even NOT in regards to love, you are needing to validate your feelings by getting other people to tell you that "you are okay." But if you keep doing that, you will never ever be happy because you don't love you, first and foremost. No ones opinion about you should mean more to you than you. In these relationships you get into, you are actually USING them to make you feel better about yourself, which is impossible for anyone else (even your mom and pop) to make you feel. if you do not feel good about you, you will continue to chase people away because they cannot fill that void. They will either become tired of filling a bucket with a hole in it, or you will turn them off by asking too much from them or they will begin to resent you because you ask them too many times or don't "believe" them. You will continually set yourself up for failure until you learn that only you can fill that void.

    There are no pedestals. if you put anyone on one, that means you are lesser and you have higher expectations for them than you have of yourself. Why would anyone want to be with someone who is basically telling them outright "I'm a loser" or "I am not as good as you." If that's the case, I would move on and find someone who IS good for me. And if you put yourself on a pedestal and become too good for everyone else, you are doing the exact same thing.

    Get rid of all the pedestals in life... boyfriends, family, tv heros, sports guys, male bodybuilder models, etc... and start to love yourself for all the imperfections you are... because that is all anyone is... A big pile of imperfections trying to do their best.



    HEY, HEY ... come on. damn whats this..

    are u talking to me .. ? or talking to urself.. ??


    did i mention that i am not happy ?

    come on.. what are u talking about .. what the fuck is this..

    hahahahahahahhhahah ...
  • kemoze

    Posts: 390

    Jan 26, 2012 11:29 PM GMT
    i dont know.. but i think if i were a native speaker i would express more clearly .. but some guys here .. are talking about something else..

    i trust myself very well and i am very happy eventhought i have never been with a guy in my real life .. but i am asking about these strong feelings i have when i love someone .. that make me lose my apetite to eat or even drink..

    but i dont know from where this guy brings this answer GymDudeVegas it has nothing to do with my question .. fuck
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 26, 2012 11:54 PM GMT
    It has EVERYTHING to do with your question. You are putting HIM above your needs, your emotional needs, your physical needs, but obviously it is not the answer you want to hear, and this plea is simply your way of getting attention... AND because deep down you are asking to solve a problem no one can fix, so you're right, fuck. Go ahead dude, live in self-doubt and pity. Doesn't affect me at all.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 26, 2012 11:56 PM GMT
    Emotional growth and experience will (hopefully) one day center you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 27, 2012 12:33 AM GMT
    kemoze saidi dont know.. but i think if i were a native speaker i would express more clearly .. but some guys here .. are talking about something else..

    i trust myself very well and i am very happy eventhought i have never been with a guy in my real life .. but i am asking about these strong feelings i have when i love someone .. that make me lose my apetite to eat or even drink..

    but i dont know from where this guy brings this answer GymDudeVegas it has nothing to do with my question .. fuck




    From the evidence I've been able to gather, the sentiments you express are entirely normal and have been documented as being part of the human condition since at least 1932...





  • kemoze

    Posts: 390

    Jan 27, 2012 12:47 AM GMT
    GymDudeVegas saidIt has EVERYTHING to do with your question. You are putting HIM above your needs, your emotional needs, your physical needs, but obviously it is not the answer you want to hear, and this plea is simply your way of getting attention... AND because deep down you are asking to solve a problem no one can fix, so you're right, fuck. Go ahead dude, live in self-doubt and pity. Doesn't affect me at all.


    dude. see. i have my work. and every thing is ok . the emotional stuff doesnt affect my life.. i cant risk with my work. but these feelings control my mind.

    i might should have asked in another way..

    guys do u think of ur love, partner .. whatever all the time ?


    but really i know what u mean .. and i am sure this has nothing to do with the self-esteem and self confidence. thinking about the one you love doesnt underestimate u unless he doesnt love u in the same way u do..
  • kemoze

    Posts: 390

    Jan 27, 2012 12:49 AM GMT
    azimmwax said
    kemoze said ..when i am eating..

    =P


    tumblr_lhrjgokmci1qdot54o1_400.gif


    well. that was funny.. but i said when i eat .. not when i suck my food.. lol
  • FuzzyRich

    Posts: 52

    Jan 27, 2012 2:03 AM GMT
    You're young. Everything is fresher, more intense when you're younger.