How to meet new gay guys?

  • BlueMoose

    Posts: 237

    Jan 26, 2012 6:21 PM GMT
    How do you guys meet new gay guys? I want to meet a guy without having to use the internet to talk to them. I'm also not hugely into the club scene because it attracts more feminine guys which I'm not into. Any ideas?
  • BmwKid92

    Posts: 1097

    Jan 26, 2012 6:28 PM GMT
    +1
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    Jan 26, 2012 10:20 PM GMT
    OH MY GOD... YOU ARENT INTO FEMININE GUYS?! You should be ashamed. Do you not realize that feminine guys are the ones who fight for 87.2% of gay rights for you masculine guys? Ugh, the nerve.

    *sashays out*
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    Jan 26, 2012 10:34 PM GMT
    gaydarOH MY GOD... YOU ARENT INTO FEMININE GUYS?! You should be ashamed. Do you not realize that feminine guys are the ones who fight for 87.2% of gay rights for you masculine guys? Ugh, the nerve.

    *sashays out*


    HAHA. that was good.
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    Jan 26, 2012 10:35 PM GMT
    REGARDLESS of why someone is disinterested in the club scene, there are alternatives depending on where you live and how comfortable you are with yourself.


    Somebody let me know when they're discovered.
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    Jan 26, 2012 10:36 PM GMT
    RoadsterRacer87 saidREGARDLESS of why someone is disinterested in the club scene, there are alternatives depending on where you live and how comfortable you are with yourself.


    Somebody let me know when they're discovered.


    Its called the internet, and doing gay things. If you dont do things where gay men would be comfortable, how do you expect to find someone?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 27, 2012 12:22 AM GMT
    You are in Wayne, NJ....enough said...lived there for 6-months, get the hell out of there! Need to move...or www.meet.up.com
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 27, 2012 12:29 AM GMT
    Living life with the addition of luck, the right place at the right time (i.e.-supermarket after work) , networking.
    Feeling pathetic and needy are never options (not directing this towards anyone).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 27, 2012 12:29 AM GMT
    join gay themed groups most areas have them such as sports, volunteer, charities, groups on etc... example political or religious. icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 27, 2012 12:31 AM GMT
    Head to the bath house, dark alleys, and parks.

    I just keep an eye out while I'm out and about, start up a conversation with a guy at the book store or whatever shop I'm at and see where it leads.

    What's wrong with the internet btw?
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    Jan 27, 2012 12:37 AM GMT
    They are sorta just like normal people. Everywhere doing everything. You can meet them anywhere and any time, but I agree with the two guys up top. Join the groups or just talk to the ones that get your gaydar to go off.

    I found out that most gay guys live very healthy lives, so by jogging early in the morning I met like half of the ones that live in my neighborhood.
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    Jan 27, 2012 12:40 AM GMT
    Duuuuuh.
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  • kemoze

    Posts: 390

    Jan 27, 2012 1:18 AM GMT
    Gaydar saidOH MY GOD... YOU ARENT INTO FEMININE GUYS?! You should be ashamed. Do you not realize that feminine guys are the ones who fight for 87.2% of gay rights for you masculine guys? Ugh, the nerve.

    *sashays out*


    that was well said.. i do believe that feminine guys shall not be treated like that. sometimes i feel like they are very sincere.
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    Jan 27, 2012 1:33 AM GMT
    kemoze said
    Gaydar saidOH MY GOD... YOU ARENT INTO FEMININE GUYS?! You should be ashamed. Do you not realize that feminine guys are the ones who fight for 87.2% of gay rights for you masculine guys? Ugh, the nerve.

    *sashays out*


    that was well said.. i do believe that feminine guys shall not be treated like that. sometimes i feel like they are very sincere.


    All the guy said was that he's not into fem guys. He didn't bash anyone or say a single negative comment about fem guys. This is his "preference" as we like to use in the gay world to justify our reasons for not considering people. If it's ok for people to "prefer" not to meet minority gay guys or uncut gay guys or fat gay guys or old gay guys or gays with HIV, then it's ok to "prefer" not to meet fem guys don't you think?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 27, 2012 1:39 AM GMT
    Girl you did not just say fem

    (taking off my earrings putting my thick eye liner on and my stallelos (that's how you spell it right ?) if not ... Ok I'm a bad gay icon_sad.gif(((

    Don't take my card away

  • BlueMoose

    Posts: 237

    Jan 27, 2012 2:24 AM GMT
    Brownale said
    kemoze said
    Gaydar saidOH MY GOD... YOU ARENT INTO FEMININE GUYS?! You should be ashamed. Do you not realize that feminine guys are the ones who fight for 87.2% of gay rights for you masculine guys? Ugh, the nerve.

    *sashays out*


    that was well said.. i do believe that feminine guys shall not be treated like that. sometimes i feel like they are very sincere.


    All the guy said was that he's not into fem guys. He didn't bash anyone or say a single negative comment about fem guys. This is his "preference" as we like to use in the gay world to justify our reasons for not considering people. If it's ok for people to "prefer" not to meet minority gay guys or uncut gay guys or fat gay guys or old gay guys or gays with HIV, then it's ok to "prefer" not to meet fem guys don't you think?



    I did not mean to offend anyone by saying feminine guys. Like this guy said it's just my preference. I understand completely that they fight for our rights more than anything and I appreciate them for that and I have many gay friends that are more feminine acting. The thing is I want my man to be masculine. I don't mind the club tooo much. but I feel you can't really talk at a club with deafening music. I'm thinking about trying this Gay Bar thats not too far from me and see how the scene is there. My past two boyfriends I met through the internet so I'm not against using the internet just want a different change of pace on how I approach someone. Want to experience dating more naturally so to say.
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    Jan 27, 2012 7:02 AM GMT
    BlueMoose said I don't mind the club tooo much. but I feel you can't really talk at a club with deafening music. I'm thinking about trying this Gay Bar thats not too far from me and see how the scene is there.

    The point of going to a club is not to talk. You go for coffee or join a debate society if you want to talk.
    No, you go to a club because you want to dance with, then grope a hot guy. You can shout in his ear when you want to exchange names or tell him "you're hot." Now that you've met a new guy you're into, you can make a date someplace where you can talk.

    BlueMoose saidMy past two boyfriends I met through the internet so I'm not against using the internet just want a different change of pace on how I approach someone. Want to experience dating more naturally so to say.

    The internet is useful, depending on what you want. There's the hookup sites, the dating sites, the social sites, the various forums, etc etc.
    Maybe you don't want to just use the same sites you used to meet your past boyfriends, but you shouldn't necessarily discount the whole internet.

    For all the other ways to meet new guys in person, well those suggestions should be stickied for all the newbies.
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    Jan 27, 2012 7:14 AM GMT
    BlueMoose saidHow do you guys meet new gay guys? I want to meet a guy without having to use the internet to talk to them. I'm also not hugely into the club scene because it attracts more feminine guys which I'm not into. Any ideas?


    Me too. Minus the whole not into feminine guys thing. It's an easy bandwagon to get on, but a tough nitch fit into. I'm fairly neutral, so I don't care if a guy sounds like a woman on the phone or like a radio show host. I take the ones I like, and like me back as best I can. Hell, 2 out of the 3 guys I've fallen for have been outside my comfort zone. I've a had a few drinks... nevermind.
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    Jan 27, 2012 7:34 AM GMT
    BlueMoose saidHow do you guys meet new gay guys? I want to meet a guy without having to use the internet to talk to them. I'm also not hugely into the club scene because it attracts more feminine guys which I'm not into. Any ideas?


    What a load of shit. You shouldn't be disinterested in something because of the people it attracts, you should be disinterested because you don't like it. That's like saying "I don't like the beach because it attracts women." That's stupid.

    And as for meeting guys, it's not hard. Go out and be out around the town. You don't have to go to gay bars to meet gay guys. There are gays at straight bars, bowling alleys, the movies, sports events, the laundromat, the bank, the gym... the hard part is finding someone to date, in which case, you don't go looking for that.
  • kemoze

    Posts: 390

    Jan 27, 2012 7:37 AM GMT
    BlueMoose said
    Brownale said
    kemoze said
    Gaydar saidOH MY GOD... YOU ARENT INTO FEMININE GUYS?! You should be ashamed. Do you not realize that feminine guys are the ones who fight for 87.2% of gay rights for you masculine guys? Ugh, the nerve.

    *sashays out*


    that was well said.. i do believe that feminine guys shall not be treated like that. sometimes i feel like they are very sincere.


    All the guy said was that he's not into fem guys. He didn't bash anyone or say a single negative comment about fem guys. This is his "preference" as we like to use in the gay world to justify our reasons for not considering people. If it's ok for people to "prefer" not to meet minority gay guys or uncut gay guys or fat gay guys or old gay guys or gays with HIV, then it's ok to "prefer" not to meet fem guys don't you think?



    I did not mean to offend anyone by saying feminine guys. Like this guy said it's just my preference. I understand completely that they fight for our rights more than anything and I appreciate them for that and I have many gay friends that are more feminine acting. The thing is I want my man to be masculine. I don't mind the club tooo much. but I feel you can't really talk at a club with deafening music. I'm thinking about trying this Gay Bar thats not too far from me and see how the scene is there. My past two boyfriends I met through the internet so I'm not against using the internet just want a different change of pace on how I approach someone. Want to experience dating more naturally so to say.



    its ok dude. i understand this, and i know u dont mean any offence, but sometimes using the word fem guys has the meaning of underestimating those guys.. but again i know u didnt mean this..,,,

    cheers.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 27, 2012 12:54 PM GMT
    If you don't go where gay guys are (and are comfortable being gay)... you're going to have a very hard time finding a guy. Pretty simple. Go where gay guys are (the bar and the internet).

    That said, it isn't as though gay guys just go to those two places. We obviously have lives and go everywhere a normal person goes. It's just that hitting on some random guy (especially if you like the subtle, "not gay" guy) in the supermarket is socially risky. At a bar, you know everyone's gay.
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    Jan 27, 2012 1:01 PM GMT
    Once again a new poster falls into the "I'm not into feminine guys" trap.
    2hi5a1k.jpg
  • BlueMoose

    Posts: 237

    Jan 27, 2012 1:06 PM GMT
    Larkin saidIf you don't go where gay guys are (and are comfortable being gay)... you're going to have a very hard time finding a guy. Pretty simple. Go where gay guys are (the bar and the internet).

    That said, it isn't as though gay guys just go to those two places. We obviously have lives and go everywhere a normal person goes. It's just that hitting on some random guy (especially if you like the subtle, "not gay" guy) in the supermarket is socially risky. At a bar, you know everyone's gay.


    That's exactly my issue. I know there are gay guys at super markets and bowling alleys, but it is hard to pick them out since i do like the subtle guy. Gay bars and clubs lose the risk of being wrong if the guy is gay or not. I am completely comfortable with myself and have pride in who I am, just wish we had more options sometimes. I just joined a group on that meetup site another guy posted and we will see how that goes.
  • BlueMoose

    Posts: 237

    Jan 27, 2012 1:08 PM GMT
    Also last two boyfriends were not subtle in anyway and I still cared for them greatly. I do change the way I think for the right guy.
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    Jan 27, 2012 1:23 PM GMT
    You should change the way you think so you CAN meet the right guy.

    Gay men are everywhere. If you are having a hard time meeting gays in your type of setting then that leaves you with only one option: Adapt and go where there are gays. If that means you have to go to a gay bar then so be it. They aren't scary.

    Meeting someone in a bar doesn't mean that's where the date is gonna start or end (it does for some but you don't have to be that person). People are there at bars for simple good times and it's just a place like any other place. I hate it when people say stupid things like "I'm not into the Bar/Club scene." What does that mean? That you don't like going out, having a few drinks with buddies, listening to music and possibly engaging with others? Sounds like a homebody or someone who is a snob and close-minded to fun outside their bubble.

    Go to where you know a lot of gays commute at and work the crowd. Step outside your bubble and engage folks. Just because they are in a bar doesn't mean they live in it. You'd be surprised what kind of people go to bars and what their professions are. They do it because they (bars/clubs) are fun and you should follow suit. Also to say that the clubs attract femmy guys clearly shows that you don't know anything about clubs. That's a stereotype you can't even back up. How could you since you aren't into the club scene as you said so how would you know? That sounds like a comment formed from too much t.v. I bet those femmy guys you're not into get way more action then you do and by masculine type guys too nonetheless. LOL.

    Also you might wanna do a little advertising and work on that body. If you can't market yourself to be appealing to a certain type of customer that you want then you'll never sale the product and won't have any customers. No offense but If you know gay guys are walking around in bookstores, the street and supermarkets and they aren't having any trouble meeting other gay guys then clearly the problem stems from you. The person bitching about not being able to meet people is often the problem themselves. Give the type of people you're interested in a reason to wanna be interested in you and things should be fine.

    This is just constructive criticism. Hope you succeed.