Sorry but here is the DoD statement and what same sex spouses DO get.. yes, DOMA doesn't allow housing allowances, etc..yethttp://www.defense.gov/news/newsarticle.aspx?id=65857
he 14 benefits identified for members to designate whomever they wish as beneficiaries are:
-- Service Members Group Life Insurance beneficiary;
-- Post Vietnam-era Veterans Assistance Program beneficiary;
-- All-volunteer Force Educational Assistance Program – Active Duty Death Benefit beneficiary;
-- Death Gratuity beneficiary;
-- Final Settlement of Accounts;
-- Wounded Warrior Designated Caregiver;
-- Thrift Savings Plan beneficiary;
-- Survivor Benefit for retirees;
-- Casualty Notification;
-- Escorts for Dependents of Deceased or Missing;
-- Designation of Persons Having Interest in Status of a Missing Member;
-- Veterans’ Group Life Insurance beneficiary;
-- Person Eligible to Receive Effects of Deceased Persons; and
-- Travel and Transportation Allowance: attendance at Yellow Ribbon Reintegration events.
Eligibility for a number of other benefits is restricted by applicable statutes, including the Defense of Marriage Act.
Finally, in connection with the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell,” Lainez said, “the Defense Department is engaged in a careful and deliberate review of the possibility of revising the eligibility for additional benefits, if legally permitted.” Service members are encouraged to contact their personnel offices for more information.