Would you have sex with a guy even though your friend(s) already hit it?

  • Ridiculance

    Posts: 40

    Jan 27, 2012 5:13 PM GMT
    My old roommate and I got into a discussion last night about this because he was telling me about this hot guy he had sex with the other day and I ended up knowing him and was actually talking to him up too (texting, pics, etc). Since we are great friends we tend to laugh about these things and just move on. However, he said that I had the green light to hit it because he was "SO hot & a good ....". But I said I'm not, and he was kind of like "Why?!" I just explained that I don't want to put my junk where he's put his & vice versa. I feel like a gay slut... I mean if I don't know & ignorant of the situation, it's different than if I know that my old roomie has tore Dat ass up ;)

    What do you guys think?
    Do you feel dirty after being with someone you know has been with a friend? Or is it perfectly ok to share sexual partners with friends? (at least you know them)

    Thanks! icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 27, 2012 5:17 PM GMT

    Hmmm...

    "Do you feel dirty after being with someone you know has been with a friend?"

    ..and if you knew he'd been with strangers you wouldn't feel dirty?

    intrigued,

    -Doug
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    Jan 27, 2012 6:10 PM GMT
    Ewww, a used man. Ridiculously undesirable.
  • Ridiculance

    Posts: 40

    Jan 27, 2012 6:25 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    Hmmm...

    "Do you feel dirty after being with someone you know has been with a friend?"

    ..and if you knew he'd been with strangers you wouldn't feel dirty?

    intrigued,

    -Doug


    Haha that's what I mean. On one side it's like, "Well if they did you then you must be A-ok and ready to go." but on the other hand It's like "Hmmm. Am I thinking with my mind or my dick and will I regret it later?"

    I guess the truth is that we're all strangers to each other so it doesn't bother me as much. But when people in my circle of friends mix with my sex life I feel uncomfortable.
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    Jan 27, 2012 8:33 PM GMT
    I'm in the same boat as you. I have a friend who passes his bitches around to his other cousins, gross.
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    Jan 27, 2012 8:44 PM GMT
    As long as the friend has given the green light, then there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. If the friend is looking to continue dating him and/or continue to have a sexual relationship, then no.

    It's funny how you are squeamish about your friend's junk already having been there, but based on this guy's behavior (the hot and good guy), I'd be much, much more concerned about all the other guys that you don't know he's been with.
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    Jan 27, 2012 8:46 PM GMT
    This sounds like that old fashioned thinking they had up until the 60's, about how a woman had to be a virgin to be of any value. What's the term for that again?

    Funny, how gay men will have a friend with benefits who can date whomever he wants; but won't feel comfortable dating or hooking up with someone who has been with that friend? Sounds like alpha male cock blocking with Jedi mind tricks; or more simply stated, Pimping your friends out! Lol XP;
  • FredMG

    Posts: 988

    Jan 27, 2012 8:53 PM GMT
    knowwonder saidThis sounds like that old fashioned thinking they had up until the 60's, about how a woman had to be a virgin to be of any value. What's the term for that again?

    Funny, how gay men will have a friend with benefits who can date whomever he wants; but won't feel comfortable dating or hooking up with someone who has been with that friend? Sounds like alpha male cock blocking with Jedi mind tricks; or more simply stated, Pimping your friends out! Lol XP;


    +1

    So, unless you're "old roomie" [and you didn't say friend, buddy, or current roomie] infected the hot guy with some incurable disease, then why not? By saying you're "old roomie" you're saying he's not emotionally connected to you, or you to him, just someone one step removed from a stranger. That's just my observation.
  • jim_sf

    Posts: 2094

    Jan 27, 2012 8:58 PM GMT
    Ridiculance saidWhat do you guys think?
    Do you feel dirty after being with someone you know has been with a friend? Or is it perfectly ok to share sexual partners with friends? (at least you know them)


    Would you be so squeamish if you didn't know your old roomie had hit that? There's a pretty good chance that you've already shared a hot guy with a friend, and just didn't know it.
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    Jan 27, 2012 9:17 PM GMT
    BuddyinNYC saidEwww, a used man. Ridiculously undesirable.



    HAHAH! Those weren't exactly my choice of words but pretty close!
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Jan 27, 2012 9:39 PM GMT
    Sloppy seconds, no thanks!
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    Jan 27, 2012 9:41 PM GMT
    At least I know I can pimp some of these guys out on this site - lol j/k!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 27, 2012 9:41 PM GMT
    Mixleanmachine saidSloppy seconds, no thanks!


    everyone's a sloppy second including yourself lol unless you are a virgin
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    Jan 27, 2012 9:43 PM GMT
    hairymusclejock said
    Mixleanmachine saidSloppy seconds, no thanks!


    everyone's a sloppy second including yourself lol unless you are a virgin


    this
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    Jan 27, 2012 9:54 PM GMT
    I'd feel dirty doing it with someone I barely know and dont love in the first place....
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    Jan 27, 2012 10:01 PM GMT
    Id have no problem with it
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 27, 2012 10:10 PM GMT
    The OP's stated anxiety comes from not wanting to be compared to the friend! That's why guys don't want to share partners with close friends. There enters a risk of finding out that your friend was a superior lay for the shared partner.
  • Dbrad3693

    Posts: 227

    Jan 27, 2012 10:11 PM GMT
    Hell Yes
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Jan 27, 2012 10:17 PM GMT
    Ridiculance saidMy old roommate and I got into a discussion last night about this because he was telling me about this hot guy he had sex with the other day and I ended up knowing him and was actually talking to him up too (texting, pics, etc). Since we are great friends we tend to laugh about these things and just move on. However, he said that I had the green light to hit it because he was "SO hot & a good ....". But I said I'm not, and he was kind of like "Why?!" I just explained that I don't want to put my junk where he's put his & vice versa. I feel like a gay slut... I mean if I don't know & ignorant of the situation, it's different than if I know that my old roomie has tore Dat ass up ;)

    What do you guys think?
    Do you feel dirty after being with someone you know has been with a friend? Or is it perfectly ok to share sexual partners with friends? (at least you know them)

    Thanks! icon_smile.gif
    Unless you are sleeping with pure virgins than you have been with someone that has been with the person you are sleeping with. does this make you feel like a slut too?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 27, 2012 10:20 PM GMT
    RunintheCity saidThe OP's stated anxiety comes from not wanting to be compared to the friend! That's why guys don't want to share partners with close friends. There enters a risk of finding out that your friend was a superior lay for the shared partner.


    This.

    I don't like sharing with friends. There are enough guys out there that this close-knit network of tricks seems incestuous. If your friends know the guy you're sleeping with, there's a much higher chance of that becoming a "thing" or topic of conversation.
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    Jan 27, 2012 10:20 PM GMT
    I don't have friends.
  • Trepeat

    Posts: 546

    Jan 27, 2012 10:31 PM GMT
    I get the OP`s feelings. Usually when you have sex with someone, as casual as it may, you like to think that the experience was yours and shared only between the two (or three or four) of you. We all know this is bullshit, of course, but being able to imagine your lay having an equally great (or better, as our insecure imaginations often portray) romp with a friend shatters that illusion of intimacy. It`s like knowing that there are starving kids out there who need help, versus actually seeing a child dying of starvation outside of your house.

    .. ok, that was a weird analogy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 27, 2012 10:37 PM GMT
    Trepeat saidI get the OP`s feelings. Usually when you have sex with someone, as casual as it may, you like to think that the experience was yours and shared only between the two (or three or four) of you. We all know this is bullshit, of course, but being able to imagine your lay having an equally great (or better, as our insecure imaginations often portray) romp with a friend shatters that illusion of intimacy. It`s like knowing that there are starving kids out there who need help, versus actually seeing a child dying of starvation outside of your house.

    .. ok, that was a weird analogy.


    You just compared irrational guilt over a fluid exchange to children starving.

    double-facepalm.jpg
  • Ridiculance

    Posts: 40

    Jan 27, 2012 10:50 PM GMT
    Thanks For all the replies everyone.

    My "old roomie" and I are great friends (which I said) and that's why we can openly discuss such things.

    I'd have to agree with the post about comparing myself to my froomie (friend/roomie). I think it's a little subconscious and I don't want to be compared really.

    But my main problem overall would lie in what Larkin said. Why would I have sex with someone my friend did, when there are plenty of other guys out there to get it on with? I just feel like I shouldn't dabble in my friend's sex life... unless we have a threesome/foursome... Lol :-D I think I solved my prob!

  • Ridiculance

    Posts: 40

    Jan 27, 2012 10:54 PM GMT
    And I didn't really mean I feel like a gay slut Because of the "used goods" part.

    More for my friend knowing my business & maybe mentioning it to another friend. You're a sexually active gay male when you know, you're a slut when everyone knows your history.