An Awkward Situation

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    Jan 28, 2012 9:13 AM GMT
    Hey.Hi.Hello,

    (Back Story)

    I moved from FL to CT to go back to school to finish my degree. My loving Aunt & Uncle helped me out and let me live with them. Which is great, don't have to pay extra for a dorm or apartment, home cooked meals...etc. It was a win/win for me. At the time I was in my very first relationship. Lasted a good 8 months but came to an inevitable end due to the distance. My Aunt & Uncle saw me basically crumble before them due to the breakup. They pushed me into some social events and such trying to get me out of my rut. They have even gone so far as to invite to their dinner parties they throw.(Which is just a bunch of doctors talking about passed cases they have had...more gross than cool.)

    I dove head first into my studies and work to get my mind off of the breakup, and it worked. Doing both has taken up most of my time and I'm fine with that. We all have out solutions. Mine is just keep busy and thoughts off boys for now.

    (Issue)

    I come home from class this Friday evening. I'm helping get dinner ready and as I'm setting the table my Uncle walks in and say, "Now, I don't normally do this for my kids." With that statement I knew I was in trouble. He handed me an RX sheet with some writing on it. At first I thought he was trying to drug me. Numb the pain away... the irony. But after closer inspection it was a guy's name and number from the hospital. He starts to say great things about him and what a good guy he is... dah dah dah.

    Basically, my uncle is trying to hook me up with this guy. To the point, I feel like I am in an awkward situation. On one hand, I feel obligated to contact him because my uncle did up himself(and me) out there, and this guy has to be expecting a call or a date. If I don't, I'd feel bad because it might make things weird for my Uncle at work.

    On the other hand, I don't...have to do it... *shrugs*


    (The Question)

    Advice? Have you ever felt obligated to go on a blind date? Did you or didn't you do it?
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    Jan 28, 2012 9:34 AM GMT
    u could be polite about it and go.., but then that sends the message that you're a doormat and people can walk all over you.

    decision is yours, at the end of the day you should watch out for yourself.
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    Jan 28, 2012 10:43 AM GMT
    I'd be honoured and impressed to have an Uncle who would go that far for me.

    But then, that's me.

    -Doug
  • sbwlguy

    Posts: 566

    Jan 28, 2012 11:25 AM GMT
    Your aunt and uncle sound really awesome and like they care about you a lot. I think you uncle's intentions are good.

    I say go, what have you got to lose? You can possibly have a nice time and if there's nothing there then there's no shame in telling your aunt and uncle so, despite his good intentions.
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    Jan 28, 2012 2:04 PM GMT
    Genre saidAdvice? Have you ever felt obligated to go on a blind date? Did you or didn't you do it?

    Obliged in the sense that I was nagged into it by my parents and friends, who felt my having no female interests in my life as I was approaching 30 to be abnormal. None of these dates ever turned out well, not only due to them being with women, but because, gender issue aside, nobody who arranged these things seemed aware of what kind of person would interest me. And in at least one case the "sponsors" were really doing it for her sake, not for mine, to help her get over another guy, and I didn't like being used like that.

    Same way my parents were always buying me clothes for presents, hideous things I would never choose myself. You at least are being "offered" a man, but I wonder if your uncle, for all his apparent liberality, really knows what interests a gay man, and you in particular?

    Have a chat with your uncle, and tell him while you appreciate his concern for you, this is a complication you'd rather not have right now. Trying to balance studies and dating might make things worse for you, and you'll get back to dating in your own good time.

    If your uncle says it would be awkward for him to go back to this guy with your refusal, agree to at least meet him as a courtesy. You might in fact like each other, though frankly I've always hated the forced & stilted nature of blind dates. Afterwards I think your uncle will have gotten the message and not try one of these again.
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    Jan 28, 2012 2:21 PM GMT
    I'd do it out of courtesy to your uncle.
  • citypartyboy

    Posts: 187

    Jan 28, 2012 2:26 PM GMT
    id say go, and id say go just looking to make a new friend. that way your helping your uncle out, showing him you appreciate what he did, and that way it doesn't mentally have to be stressful. Just because your going on a date doesn't mean it has to become anything more serious than that. Just go to make a new friend icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 28, 2012 2:27 PM GMT
    Go! Doesn;t mean anything will come of it, but maybe you'll meet a new friend. I would go. No everyone is expecting to get laid on a first meeting or date, and if he gave his number to your uncle, doubt that was the first thing on his mind icon_razz.gif

    Go and have fun. You never know icon_razz.gif

    What if you don't go and you miss out on a chance meeting that was meant to be in some form? (I never used to believe in that crap)
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    Jan 28, 2012 2:39 PM GMT
    citypartyboy saidid say go, and id say go just looking to make a new friend. that way your helping your uncle out, showing him you appreciate what he did, and that way it doesn't mentally have to be stressful. Just because your going on a date doesn't mean it has to become anything more serious than that. Just go to make a new friend icon_smile.gif

    I think the OP should still discuss with his uncle the awkwardness he feels about this, even if he does accept the blind date as a courtesy. Otherwise it's gonna keep on happening.
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    Jan 28, 2012 2:41 PM GMT
    Why on earth would you not go? Whats the worst that can happen? Yall dont like each other.. so what? Not the end of the world
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    Jan 28, 2012 2:44 PM GMT
    Meh. Have some fun with it! It's just one date. And I figure you never really know. My parents met through friends, were engaged after 6 months, and have been married for over 30 years. So you never really know. He could be the man of your dreams!
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 28, 2012 2:46 PM GMT
    I'd want to check it out! I'd make it very laid back and more about friendship and meeting new people.. not about anything regarding "dating" in the beginning. The guy might have serious reservations as well. Make it fun and the point your uncle did this for you. I think its great... and above all, what a great Aunt/Uncle set. Good for you.

    Have fun with it!
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    Jan 28, 2012 2:52 PM GMT
    It could be fun, just go and try to have a good time with it. Whats the worst that could happen? You end up meeting someone new?
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    Jan 28, 2012 3:10 PM GMT
    I say just go. Meet for coffee or something. If it doesn't work out, let him now and go your separate ways.
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    Jan 28, 2012 3:17 PM GMT
    Aww bless. What a wonderful (if somewhat unwelcome) gesture and what a loving and caring uncle and aunt you have. What have you got to lose, other than a few hours one afternoon or evening? Give it a shot.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Jan 28, 2012 4:21 PM GMT
    why wouldn't you go out. this would be a great way to get other the your ex. i do not think you have to feel obligated. i just think it would be good for you to do it. the fact that you uncle considers you one of his own should give you a little solace that he did it in good faith
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    Jan 28, 2012 4:42 PM GMT
    What do you have to lose? Your uncle seems cool
  • musicdude

    Posts: 734

    Jan 28, 2012 4:45 PM GMT
    you're going to have to get back on that bike (the "dating" one) sooner or later. I think you should do it. as other people have mentioned, if you don't, you might be missing out on a great opportunity to make a new friend
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    Jan 28, 2012 4:47 PM GMT
    I say: just do - and don't overthink it. Thank your uncle. If the date is sour, just be honest and explain why. If you go and the whole thing is awkward you can politely explain to your uncle that now may not be the best time for blind dates - and you will meet people when you're ready. That gets you off the hook all the way 'round and they won't set you up anymore unless you ask them.

    But hey... Meet this guy! He could be a total catch! icon_biggrin.gif
  • aumsean77

    Posts: 37

    Jan 28, 2012 4:48 PM GMT
    Mil8 saidAww bless. What a wonderful (if somewhat unwelcome) gesture and what a loving and caring uncle and aunt you have. What have you got to lose, other than a few hours one afternoon or evening? Give it a shot.


    +1
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    Jan 28, 2012 4:49 PM GMT
    Why would you feel awkward? Be grateful that your aunt and uncle care so much about you.

    You neither have to go out on a date nor call this guy if you don't want. Just tell your uncle that your not up for dating right now (perfectly understandable) and you want to concentrate on school. And thank them both for caring about you so much.



    Genre saidHey.Hi.Hello,

    (Back Story)

    I moved from FL to CT to go back to school to finish my degree. My loving Aunt & Uncle helped me out and let me live with them. Which is great, don't have to pay extra for a dorm or apartment, home cooked meals...etc. It was a win/win for me. At the time I was in my very first relationship. Lasted a good 8 months but came to an inevitable end due to the distance. My Aunt & Uncle saw me basically crumble before them due to the breakup. They pushed me into some social events and such trying to get me out of my rut. They have even gone so far as to invite to their dinner parties they throw.(Which is just a bunch of doctors talking about passed cases they have had...more gross than cool.)

    I dove head first into my studies and work to get my mind off of the breakup, and it worked. Doing both has taken up most of my time and I'm fine with that. We all have out solutions. Mine is just keep busy and thoughts off boys for now.

    (Issue)

    I come home from class this Friday evening. I'm helping get dinner ready and as I'm setting the table my Uncle walks in and say, "Now, I don't normally do this for my kids." With that statement I knew I was in trouble. He handed me an RX sheet with some writing on it. At first I thought he was trying to drug me. Numb the pain away... the irony. But after closer inspection it was a guy's name and number from the hospital. He starts to say great things about him and what a good guy he is... dah dah dah.

    Basically, my uncle is trying to hook me up with this guy. To the point, I feel like I am in an awkward situation. On one hand, I feel obligated to contact him because my uncle did up himself(and me) out there, and this guy has to be expecting a call or a date. If I don't, I'd feel bad because it might make things weird for my Uncle at work.

    On the other hand, I don't...have to do it... *shrugs*


    (The Question)

    Advice? Have you ever felt obligated to go on a blind date? Did you or didn't you do it?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 28, 2012 4:53 PM GMT
    sbwlguy saidYour aunt and uncle sound really awesome and like they care about you a lot. I think you uncle's intentions are good.

    I say go, what have you got to lose? You can possibly have a nice time and if there's nothing there then there's no shame in telling your aunt and uncle so, despite his good intentions.


    I concur!
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    Jan 28, 2012 4:54 PM GMT
    Adding to your network is always helpful. It's how things are done here in silicon valley. I just read that employers don't even want to do the resume thing any more. So more then ever it's gonna be about who you know. So accept any opportunity that is handed to you to befriend. You never know where it will go. 95% of all str8 couples meet through shared friends.
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    Jan 28, 2012 6:40 PM GMT
    Thank you for the replies!

    I feel awkward because it's set up. You know, not natural. Meaning you kind of already like the person you are going on a date with. That's just how it feels to me. That and it is a little weird that my family felt that they needed to step in. Some may disagree... I suppose I am being a wimp.

    Nevertheless, i will go ahead... it is just a few hours. What could go wrong.

    We'll see.

    Thanks again for the advise.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 28, 2012 6:54 PM GMT
    Tell us what happens...Remember you Uncle means well so if doesn't work, at you know they tried and they love you enough for them to care.