Regards to eating out

  • MarcBodybuild...

    Posts: 683

    Jan 28, 2012 12:22 PM GMT

    When i head out on a date , we usually eat out but there is one thing that confuses me ....

    If ur date says he is not that hungry , is he telling the truth or shy about ordering his meal. I mean if he is low on cash i can pay for the both of us, but kinda hard to tell if he is shy of ordering.

    so what happens next is i do my best to order for the both of us since, he wont tell the damn waiter what he wants.

    I dont want to eat alone while he just i dunno watches >?
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    Jan 28, 2012 3:20 PM GMT
    I wouldnt think its a cash problem, I mean if I accept a date, I have the cash to go. More than likely its just nervousness
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    Jan 28, 2012 3:24 PM GMT
    I think stone66 is on point. It's probably just nervousness.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 28, 2012 3:29 PM GMT
    It could be nervousness, he might also not want to rock the boat by telling you what he does or doesn't want to eat. Unfortunately, it's just one of those initial date things that we have to work through.

    I've never been like that. When I'm hungry, I make several suggestions as to potential restaurants... then I dig in!
  • rdberg1957

    Posts: 662

    Jan 28, 2012 3:36 PM GMT
    I never thought of that. Usually if we plan to go out somewhere, I don't hear a guy say I don't want to eat. And I always want to eat.
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    Jan 28, 2012 3:47 PM GMT
    Some people are embarrassed to eat in front of other people. With the people I know like this, mostly women, the mentality seems to be "If somebody else sees me eating they'll think I'm fat." It's extremely odd, since everyone has to eat. Maybe it's this or maybe not, but I hope he warms up to you.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Jan 28, 2012 3:48 PM GMT
    if they are not hungry than order some appetizers. that way you can eat and share it together. if you are still hungry after the appetizers than you can just get something to go. when its time to pay sneak the waiter your card and pay for it while your date is not aware it.
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    Jan 28, 2012 6:32 PM GMT
    If he agreed to go out to dinner with you and then said, "I'm not that hungry." I'd be annoyed that he wasn't upfront with me in the first place. I could have eaten before our date and we could gone on to something else.

    Let's just say y'all get there and he said, "I'm not that hungry." I'd would cajole him into getting something small or splitting a meal with me. If he still refuses, I'd skip dinner and ask HIM what he would like to do. If he says, "I don't know" then the date is over. I don't like to play guessing games.
  • musicdude

    Posts: 734

    Jan 28, 2012 6:37 PM GMT
    i know a few guys (who are bottoms) that wont eat before or during a date. reason being, they want to be ready for any sex that might happen. when they eat, they'll feel bloated (therefore not sexy which kills their mood) and won't feel confortable about their "cleanliness". so...maybe its that, maybe its shyness
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    Jan 28, 2012 6:56 PM GMT
    Am I to understand from this thread that dates are dutch? I always paid if I invited someone on a date and vice versa. But, so there would be no confusion, I always worded it something like, "I'd like to take you to dinner...."

    At your age, and if you're dating guys your age or younger, it may very well be a financial issue, especially if you choose expensive restaurants.
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    Jan 28, 2012 7:11 PM GMT
    oh god I first read the title to this and thought to myself "this topic does not belong on this site" haha

    I get where the guy is coming from, I used to be like guess I kind of still am but its all about getting to know each other over time in order to be able to eat a meal in front of someone.

    Thats why I i always suggest coffee as a first date. Easy enough to sip on a cup of coffee and talk icon_biggrin.gif
  • zenmonkie

    Posts: 228

    Jan 28, 2012 7:27 PM GMT
    Why would somebody be nervous about ordering food?
    Order him a water and dig in, why does it matter?
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    Jan 28, 2012 10:23 PM GMT
    Depends on who I'm with. New guy I usually pay for my own food and make that know from the get go. My ex never really ate dinner so we never went out, I always fed myself. If I have been dating for awhile we would split the meal sometime or treat one another from time to time.

    New guy in town for a night and we are just fucking, he pays and I eat my fill. Got to make sure I have the energy to make his visit worth it icon_razz.gif
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    Jan 29, 2012 12:29 PM GMT
    I'd say take him at his word unless something makes you think something else is up.
    It does seem odd that a guy would accept a date to go out to eat if he didn't plan on eating anything. And to not tell you that he's not hungry and maybe suggest something else. Odd.

    Maybe this guy's into watching you eat.
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    Jan 29, 2012 12:43 PM GMT
    food should never be an issue . . . though id love to eat some of that rdberg1957 icon_razz.gif
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    Jan 29, 2012 7:15 PM GMT
    It is a combination of what Rudy said and Wolfpackbuddy said. I know that I will probably get a ton of shit for the following, but:

    Sometimes people don't want to pig out in front of a date. Nobody likes to see a guy or a girl stuffing their face on the first date. Plus, it is like somebody else said about being a picky eater and not wanting to turn the guy off on the first date.

    My thing was: I used to eat a couple of hours before going on a date. 1) to not be bloated 2) to make sure that I wouldn't have the sudden urge to have a bowel movement 3) to make sure that my breath didn't reek after we ate (I know there is gum, Altoids, etc.) 4) to make sure shit wasn't stuck in my teeth
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    Jan 29, 2012 7:18 PM GMT
    Balljunkie saidNobody likes to see a guy or a girl stuffing their face on the first date.


    I love to see a guy with a voracious appetite. I like them seeing mine, too.
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    Jan 29, 2012 7:19 PM GMT
    MarcBodybuilding said
    When i head out on a date , we usually eat out but there is one thing that confuses me ....

    If ur date says he is not that hungry , is he telling the truth or shy about ordering his meal. I mean if he is low on cash i can pay for the both of us, but kinda hard to tell if he is shy of ordering.

    so what happens next is i do my best to order for the both of us since, he wont tell the damn waiter what he wants.

    I dont want to eat alone while he just i dunno watches >?



    Well, how about not second-guessing your date? If he's not that hungry it could be he's..........not that hungry. icon_wink.gif

    -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 29, 2012 7:45 PM GMT
    I love food and eating, and would never want to mix it with the serious endeavor of getting to know a guy on a first date.

    A first (and perhaps second) date is for getting to know the guy which means seeing him visually and feeling his vibes- what he's really about. Also gives more possibilities for verbal and intellectual interactions while seeing his reactions and mannerisms. The kind of stuff that isn't transmittable on-line.

    Going out for a drink (alcohol, coffee/tea, etc.) is my preferable first date. It may lead to something or not. But it's a time to observe who he is (and vice-verse). Lastly, it helps prevent possible uncomfortable situations, and leaves a smooth path for ending the date if necessary.