Guy problem, need help!

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    Jan 28, 2012 11:41 PM GMT
    So this guy & i have been talking for about 8 months now online, went to meet him on 11/11/11, had a blast and what not,, i have feelings for him the whole 9 yards, texted him last night.. being cute and all saying, " come cuddle with me", he responds back, "sorry im doing that with someone else". Thought he had feelings for him as he stated alot of times through text and on the phone.. i guess not.. , i replyed saying "ouch", he stated back "lol"... (& other texts were exchanged) but wtf do i do.....? icon_sad.gif

    My heart pretty much stopped.
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    Jan 28, 2012 11:44 PM GMT
    Don't mean to sound rude but he is either not that into you or he is not into relationship or dating.

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    Jan 28, 2012 11:45 PM GMT
    probably both, but dont text me saying i miss you, we should hang out during spring break and the summer.... feel like once again i got played, used lol
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    Jan 28, 2012 11:53 PM GMT
    That's a tricky situation. Technically, you guys aren't in a relationship so he really owes you no loyality in terms of who he sleeps with. Unless it is something that you guys already covered. I'm thinking he does like you, but a man has needs, and right now he needs some dick. Since you can't provide him with it right now, he must find his own. Again, I don't think his intentions are to hurt you, just let you know....
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    Jan 29, 2012 12:02 AM GMT
    yeah we did sleep together, but im 19 and young and dumb but i dont get how he could say he likes me and has feelings and then totally flips.. @ jumsms85, ur totally right he probably just needs dick.., im probably over thinking this, like i do everything
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    Jan 29, 2012 12:05 AM GMT
    Lsje92 saidbut im 19 and young and dumb
    This.
  • zackmorrisfan...

    Posts: 300

    Jan 29, 2012 12:22 AM GMT
    Lsje92 saidyeah we did sleep together, but im 19 and young and dumb but i dont get how he could say he likes me and has feelings and then totally flips.. @ jumsms85, ur totally right he probably just needs dick.., im probably over thinking this, like i do everything


    It sounds like you learned something. Guys will do and say what they think they must to get what they want from you.

    the_more_you_know2.jpg
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    Jan 29, 2012 12:31 AM GMT
    thanks, yeah it sucks, esp when he was there for me when my ex and i broke up = HORID break up = landed up in the hospital for 5 days... so yeah he was their for me when things ended for me ex. got attached to him then he pulls this on me.. i guess i pick the wrong guys... from wisconsin.
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    Jan 29, 2012 12:51 AM GMT
    Almost the same thing happened to me this month. Guy I was really into, been chatting for a while (expect we never met). He would flake out alot, and ended up not responding to the last set of texts I sent him about going out and so on. So I decided that he was a jerk, and I dont want to date a jerk, so I let him go.

    Personally, I think if you are having these problems with a guy that you aren;t even dating yet, I can't imagine if you dated him anything would be different. Take this as a learning experience.
  • safety43_mma1...

    Posts: 4251

    Jan 29, 2012 12:58 AM GMT
    u r better off without the dickhead. if he cared like he said he does he would not say what he did or do it for that matter. u need to move on and let him know he is a dickhead and never to talk to u again. i know it will hurt since u like him but u r better then having to settle for 2nd best.
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    Jan 29, 2012 1:05 AM GMT
    Lsje92 saidthanks, yeah it sucks, esp when he was there for me when my ex and i broke up = HORID break up = landed up in the hospital for 5 days... so yeah he was their for me when things ended for me ex. got attached to him then he pulls this on me.. i guess i pick the wrong guys... from wisconsin.


    Sorry about your luck. You found an insensitive man. There are a lot of them out there. Wish I could tell you how to spot them from a distance..
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    Jan 29, 2012 1:05 AM GMT
    This was a e-mail I got from someone I don't know and have no clue who it is ... "hi darling u want to fuck me i i love you"

    Hi darling? from a pictureless fool

    U want to fuck me? I don't fuck pictureless fools

    i love you? you don't even know me ...

    I hate free advice, BUT ... here it goes, never be led on, and remember as the song goes, "everyone is someones fool" Just find out who will be your fool and show respect.
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    Jan 29, 2012 1:14 AM GMT
    yourname2000 saidSounds like you dodged a bullet. Better to find out by his own crass insensitivity that you were casting your pearls before swine than to have your heart even more encumbered because he was hiding his duplicitous ways. icon_wink.gif

    Go find a guy who's ready for and wants an actual relationship with you. He's out there, and he's probably just as exasperated by the same type of guys as you are. icon_biggrin.gif




    FTW!!!! The best post EVER on RJ!!!
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    Jan 29, 2012 5:28 AM GMT
    Lsje92 saidSo this guy & i have been talking for about 8 months now online, went to meet him on 11/11/11, had a blast and what not,, i have feelings for him the whole 9 yards, texted him last night.. being cute and all saying, " come cuddle with me", he responds back, "sorry im doing that with someone else". Thought he had feelings for him as he stated alot of times through text and on the phone.. i guess not.. , i replyed saying "ouch", he stated back "lol"... (& other texts were exchanged) but wtf do i do.....? icon_sad.gif

    My heart pretty much stopped.


    Ya gotta let it go. You met him ONE time.

    He's not the one.

    Welcome to the rudeness that is Gay America. He should have had some class and told you he wasn't interested in you. You way jumped the gun, too.

    One meeting does not a relationship make.
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    Jan 29, 2012 5:49 AM GMT
    Young gay men, including myself I would say, are so easily infatuated. But 8 months? That's a long time to be talking. You should have left his ass a long time ago.

    What sucks most is getting mixed signals and getting our expectations up icon_sad.gif
  • shawn06

    Posts: 337

    Jan 29, 2012 5:55 AM GMT
    He was trying to get a reaction out of you or make you jealous, drop him. He is playing games with you and there was no reason for him to tell you that at all.
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    Jan 29, 2012 6:03 AM GMT
    Well its time to build around your heart with steel because you will counter them throughout your life...Its not a bad thing and it does sux balls, but you'll bunce back in no time.

    Have faith that you will you find someone just for you.
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    Feb 21, 2012 6:18 AM GMT
    thanks guys icon_smile.gificon_smile.gif
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    Feb 21, 2012 6:41 AM GMT
    These things happen. I was one interested in a guy. We had a friendly, flirty, hanging out past, etc, etc. I was actually there to get him through his break up with his ex. Anyways, he completely fucked up my NYE weekend by inviting me to go out with him, with the idea that he had his house to himself. I only ended up doing it because my original plans fell through on December 29th and I know we get along. Turned out I was playing 3rd wheel to him and some random guy (different guys on both nights mind you) the entire weekend. It hurt. It hurt a lot. I sort of had panic attacks whenever I thought about it. I finally confronted him about it, told him how I felt. After that I picked myself up, dusted myself off and didn't look back. In the end it wasn't the end of the world as we know it and I'm still here breathing.

    You'll be fine, just learn, grow and move on.
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    Feb 21, 2012 6:53 AM GMT
    Just_that_guy: proof that no matter how breathtaking you are. icon_eek.gif

    The last guy I met who took my breath away...we were both naked at a group event. It didn't turn out well.

    Sex seems to be the relationship killer for me.
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    Feb 21, 2012 2:51 PM GMT
    Lsje92 saidthanks, yeah it sucks, esp when he was there for me when my ex and i broke up = HORID break up = landed up in the hospital for 5 days... so yeah he was their for me when things ended for me ex. got attached to him then he pulls this on me.. i guess i pick the wrong guys... from wisconsin.



    There is the possibility he figured he would be a rebound lover, and so backed away. Some people think that way.
    Telling you he was cuddling with someone when you texted him to cuddle is hair-raisingly tacky, and the hallmark of a jerk.
    -Doug



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    Feb 21, 2012 2:53 PM GMT
    God sometimes men make me fucking sick.

    That guy should have been flushed.
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    Feb 21, 2012 3:00 PM GMT
    you know what to do... just have to find the courage to do it
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    Feb 21, 2012 8:38 PM GMT
    Lsje92 saidSo this guy & i have been talking for about 8 months now online, went to meet him on 11/11/11, had a blast and what not,, i have feelings for him the whole 9 yards, texted him last night.. being cute and all saying, " come cuddle with me", he responds back, "sorry im doing that with someone else". Thought he had feelings for him as he stated alot of times through text and on the phone.. i guess not.. , i replyed saying "ouch", he stated back "lol"... (& other texts were exchanged) but wtf do i do.....? icon_sad.gif

    My heart pretty much stopped.


    "Ouch" is right! I would have been really hurt if he responded with "sorry I'm doing that with someone else". However the two of you have not gotten together in over three months. It's not like you established that you were dating each other or something. My advice to you? Just move on. You're young and have lots more time to meet better guys who will want to be with you.
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    Feb 21, 2012 8:55 PM GMT
    Stop overanalyzing the situation.

    You met once. No relationship. No commitment. That's dating. If you want something more, then you need to express that. If you didn't express that when you were there, then maybe it's time, and maybe he'll now know your intentions.

    At the same time, you seem like a good guy, with a good head on you shoulders, and very handsome. You'll find someone deserving of you. Guaranteed.