*** Gay guys online: covert agendas = perpetual butthurt ***

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2012 9:54 PM GMT
    I'm on a few other gay social networking/dating sites. My experience is based on my experience with several people who took the same route.

    I'm genuinely a type of person who prefers to meet people I've talked to online with little to no expectations and take it from there to see what route I'd like it to progress, if any at all, as I don't know them from Adam at that point. I state this in my profiles, and I talk about this with the guys before meeting them.

    They all say something along the lines of ''yeah me too, I don't have any expectations or agendas'', only to get extremely butt-hurt if/when I tell them i'm not interested in them beyond possible friendship.

    This can literally happen after meeting them for the first time (in a lot of cases) when they realise: either, i) they will not get any sex (or the promise of it) or ii) no promise/possibility of a relationship with them that they secretly crave, having deemed you to be the perfect candidate to fill that void, having only just met.

    Newsflash: not everybody a person meets is going to be desirable enough for everybody/anybody to fit either bill, every time. Get used to it.

    Next step: they blame you for not falling in line with their covert expectations and 'confusing them' by having talked with them online, thus enabling them to readily assume it necessarily means something more.

    Their egos get bruised, they completely cut off communication (or the really relentless ones who pester for more than is offered will eventually get blocked).

    TL;DR

    Boo hoo, cry me a river. I'm not cold hearted, but, I have no sympathy for those that have entitlement issues or can't accept that not everybody they like, will like them back in the same way, despite enjoying conversing with them hitherto. Some will be kind enough to be honest from the get-go about their intentions or lack of, even if they themselves weren't. Take them at their word until and unless they categorically and undeniably show you otherwise. Grow up and take it on the chin.

    If this is your mindset, it is likely that this outcome of disappointment will be repeated many times with the people you want something from. Instead of blaming them, take a long hard look at your actions, behavioural and mindset patterns, and take responsibility for them.

    /RANT

    That is all

    dancefail-12.gif


    Ahhhhhhhh, I feel better =D

    icon_cool.gif


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2012 10:04 PM GMT
    tumblr_ljee7iCVPE1qi1df8o1_500.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2012 10:11 PM GMT
    Someone been rubbin your lamp?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2012 10:18 PM GMT
    Lostboy saidSomeone been rubbin your lamp?



    Mmmmhhhmmmm, and I was all like:

    rub%20these%20and%20ill%20lamp%20you.jpg


    ;]
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2012 1:05 AM GMT
    jpBITCHva said
    _SAGE_ said bla bla bla I'm too sexy for my li'l knitted cap bla bla bla

    Oh put a sock in it, you dizzy Brit. And bend over.



    Oh make me if you can, Mary.

    1571472_o.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2012 4:25 AM GMT
    I feel you Sage, at first I thought the only sleazy men were straight men, and then I stumbled across gay online forums, which to my amazement, has plenty of awesome people too. I do find it difficult to strike up a conversation though, it's so awkward trying to talk about something. And then people think I just want to hook up or something.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2012 11:29 AM GMT
    Nickrolled said.. it's so awkward trying to talk about something. And then people think I just want to hook up or something.


    Right?icon_rolleyes.gif Or if the conversation is flowing and interesting, you meet IRL, have a nice evening but are not attracted to them in person, despite them being so with you, then, they get all butthurt that you don't like them in that same way and have the nerve to throw a lil hissy fit after you explain this to them. I'm all like ''boo, you whore'', and relieved my instincts were clearly valid.

    Above scenario happened recently and culminated last night with a guy I thought was OK online, but he clearly wanted more than I did after meeting in person.

    One 'date', followed by me going on holiday the next day, and him sending a barrage of lovey-dovey whatsapp messages and then pissed-off ones complaining of my lack of reply. I WAS ON HOLIDAY, BITCH- NO WIFI- AND CLEARLY NO ROMANTIC/SEXUAL INTEREST- GIVE ME SPACE TO BREATH- STAGE 5 CLINGER!*le sigh*

    10sg85w.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2012 11:47 AM GMT
    Hahaha, Good 'ole Stage 5 Clingers. I met a guy in a bar once, while out with a group of friends. He came up and asked to sit with us, and I didnt want to be rude so said sure. We talked for a bit, and the whole group got into the convo. It was alright, until he started talking about how messed up his family was, and how no guys ever wanted him, and blah blah blah cry me a river about every butthurt scenario since kindergarten. I mean everyone has problems, and I'm sympathetic, but christ, it was totally depressing, and if someone tried to change the subject, he had a depressing anecdote about that as well. Or if someone experienced something similar, his problem was just so much worse. It started to get really awkward, and he got this look in his eye like "You'll never do that to me, right?" I decided I wanted out, so I left to get a drink and didn't bother going back to that part of the bar. My friends found me later, and Mr Stage 5 followed them. He insisted I dance with him, which I politely declined. He then said I should have sex with him, which i also politely declined. Then he groped me and tried to kiss me. I pushed him off and asked him to leave me alone. My friends kind of blocked him from me as we decided what we should do, like go to a different bar or what. Then my hero showed up, another friend, Bob, who proceeded to bitch out the guy in a way only a fierce queen can. Was actually quite funny. I ran into the same guy a few months later and he had apparently forgotten about the whole thing, tried his whole game on me again, only I kind of lost it on him and reminded him in no uncertain terms about the last time. Now he just glares at me from across the bar if he ever sees me, and I laugh.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2012 12:08 PM GMT
    I know, right? icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2012 12:18 PM GMT
    RoughriderTitan11 saidIt was alright, until he started talking about how messed up his family was, and how no guys ever wanted him, and blah blah blah cry me a river about every butthurt scenario since kindergarten. I mean everyone has problems, and I'm sympathetic, but christ, it was totally depressing..


    It amazes me that some people think by unloading all of their emotional baggage upon the first tme meeting you is an endearing trait. At least wait until you've shown your more attractive qualities before unleashing those, for the love of all that is good, pleaseeee people.

    But dayumnnnn, that guy in your scenario just takes the cake icon_lol.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2012 12:26 PM GMT
    turbobilly saidI know, right? icon_lol.gif


    0f11908d-57c1-4292-bf79-1476f98f0523.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2012 12:27 PM GMT
    Most gay men use the internet for three things:

    1) Pr0n

    2) Buttsecks

    3) ZOMFG TWEETER IS SO FFFFFFURRCCCE!!!1111!1

    Alas, finding another like-minded gay man online is next to impossible, as most simply want pen0r.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2012 12:42 PM GMT
    Firebrand said...

    Alas, finding another like-minded gay man online is next to impossible, as most simply want pen0r.


    True that. Well, we've at least found each other bro ;]

    tumblr_l9lfi5yFcl1qc4debo1_500.jpg

    icon_lol.gif