How to prevent a hookup from barebacking you?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 30, 2012 11:16 PM GMT
    Several years ago back I had a hookup who tried to trick me into barebacking.

    He intentionally ripped the tip of the condom while putting it on, so that it would roll back while fucking (I discovered afterwards that the condom didn't "just break"). He also tried to quickly take off the condom in between pulling all the way out and thrusting in deep. I kicked him out after I figured out what he was doing, and thankfully I'm still negative.

    So now, I usually insist on being the one to put the condom on him, to guide his cock inside, and also I check to make sure the condom is still on whenever we change positions and after he pulls out.

    Bottoms -- what do you do to protect yourself from a top who turns out to be really aggressive in trying to cum-dump in you?
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    Jan 31, 2012 9:39 PM GMT
    Not a bottom here, but my advice to you is to not hook up with suicidal dickwads.
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    Jan 31, 2012 9:51 PM GMT
    ruready saidSeveral years ago back I had a hookup who tried to trick me into barebacking.

    He intentionally ripped the tip of the condom while putting it on, so that it would roll back while fucking (I discovered afterwards that the condom didn't "just break"). He also tried to quickly take off the condom in between pulling all the way out and thrusting in deep. I kicked him out after I figured out what he was doing, and thankfully I'm still negative.

    So now, I usually insist on being the one to put the condom on him, to guide his cock inside, and also I check to make sure the condom is still on whenever we change positions and after he pulls out.

    Bottoms -- what do you do to protect yourself from a top who turns out to be really aggressive in trying to cum-dump in you?


    DonĀ“t hook up with cunts. then break his nose afterwards.
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    Jan 31, 2012 10:02 PM GMT
    Don't be a whore?
  • beatles7

    Posts: 7

    Jan 31, 2012 10:11 PM GMT
    Stop meeting douche bags, top, or if they try or suggest barebacking, kick them the fuck out of your room!
  • AdAstra

    Posts: 9

    Feb 05, 2012 5:07 AM GMT
    No serious member of the barebacking community would ever pull stunt like that. I only fuck raw. It is as much a matter of preference as it is a matter of standing up for the non-assimilation gay culture that I value. I'm not sure the younger generation understands the credo of barebacking and that's unfortunate.

    If someone tells you that they play safe and then try to bareback you without your consent, in my view, that's a crime. See Julian Assange. You should anyone who pulls a stunt like that as a vile, lowlife criminal.
  • irishcream

    Posts: 42

    Feb 05, 2012 5:16 AM GMT
    unforgiveable!

    I would hunt him down, get his personal information and warn the entire gay community to be wary of him and his tricks.

    Am sure you are not the first guy he pull this stunt on, or he will end this game after you caught him.

    icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 05, 2012 6:03 AM GMT
    AdAstra saidNo serious member of the barebacking community would ever pull stunt like that. I only fuck raw. It is as much a matter of preference as it is a matter of standing up for the non-assimilation gay culture that I value. I'm not sure the younger generation understands the credo of barebacking and that's unfortunate.

    If someone tells you that they play safe and then try to bareback you without your consent, in my view, that's a crime. See Julian Assange. You should anyone who pulls a stunt like that as a vile, lowlife criminal.


    Condoms equal assimilation? Just out of curiosity, what is the barebacking credo?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 05, 2012 6:33 AM GMT
    AdAstra saidNo serious member of the barebacking community would ever pull stunt like that. I only fuck raw. It is as much a matter of preference as it is a matter of standing up for the non-assimilation gay culture that I value. I'm not sure the younger generation understands the credo of barebacking and that's unfortunate.

    If someone tells you that they play safe and then try to bareback you without your consent, in my view, that's a crime. See Julian Assange. You should anyone who pulls a stunt like that as a vile, lowlife criminal.



    Good grief, you're single and barebacking? This is risky and dangerous even in a relationship unless you really KNOW your partner.

    astonished,

    -Doug
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    Feb 06, 2012 2:28 PM GMT
    AdAstra saidNo serious member of the barebacking community would ever pull stunt like that. I only fuck raw. It is as much a matter of preference as it is a matter of standing up for the non-assimilation gay culture that I value. I'm not sure the younger generation understands the credo of barebacking and that's unfortunate.

    If someone tells you that they play safe and then try to bareback you without your consent, in my view, that's a crime. See Julian Assange. You should anyone who pulls a stunt like that as a vile, lowlife criminal.


    Just curious:
    1. What is the "barebacking credo"?

    2. Even if both "barebackers" know each other's STD status and agree to "fuck raw", isn't there a risk of contracting a different strain of an STD, thereby further harming your own, as well as your partner's, health?

    3. If you both agree to barebacking, knowing you are both HIV+, thereby deliberately cross-infecting each other with different strains of the virus, why should your health insurer or any national health system pay for your treatment, while denying a cancer sufferer chemotherapy because they have "exhausted their medical insurance funds"?

    Why any sane, rational, clear-minded individual would choose to put his or his sexual partner's health at risk, just to fight an ideology called "gay assimilation" (that is the reason you gave) is beyond me.

    I wish you were free to exercise your "free choice" more wisely, both for your own well-being, and the well-being of your friends/casual sex partners. Maybe I just don't understand you, but I cannot help thinking that you are on a self-destructive path.

    Hugs!!!
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    Feb 06, 2012 3:29 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidNot a bottom here, but my advice to you is to not hook up with suicidal dickwads.

    More like murderous dickwads.

    Once again, an old story I've told here before: there was this versatile FB I used to bottom with (in fact, I chose him to take my virginity because of his small dick), as well as top him. And he swore to me he always practiced safe sex, and as far as I could tell, he always used a condom with me. That was especially important, because I knew he had a revolving front door.

    One morning we were taking a shower together, when he suddenly bent me over and started to enter me. I knew he was bareback, so I told him to put on a condom. He said he didn't have any in the bathroom, and he was all wet, didn't want to go back into his bedroom.

    It felt SO good & sexy, bent over under the shower spray as he continued to enter me. But at last I caught myself, screaming in my mind: "What the HELL are you doing???" I pulled away.

    He insisted he was clean, had always done safe sex. Oh, really? Well, what about with me? And if not safe with me, how many other guys was he not safe with? His credibility was now nonexistent.

    We remained casual friends, but I never had sex with him again, for the several more years I lived in that community. I really think we have to be that absolute about these things, no compromises, no caving, no exceptions with hookups. Otherwise we become another statistic.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2012 11:57 PM GMT
    AdAstra saidNo serious member of the barebacking community would ever pull stunt like that. I only fuck raw. It is as much a matter of preference as it is a matter of standing up for the non-assimilation gay culture that I value. I'm not sure the younger generation understands the credo of barebacking and that's unfortunate.

    If someone tells you that they play safe and then try to bareback you without your consent, in my view, that's a crime. See Julian Assange. You should anyone who pulls a stunt like that as a vile, lowlife criminal.


    The guy was probably thinking "I know I'm negative, so it really doesn't matter -- no harm done." (imho, kinda a selfish thing to say since the conditions of the hookup were supposed to be agreed upon).

    And I've heard some say "I only bareback with negative guys, so why won't you trust me?" (this is stupid I've heard this before).
  • SwimBIkeRun94...

    Posts: 480

    Feb 07, 2012 12:13 AM GMT
    I'll make you a deal ruready, I will happily top you and I'll even wear two condoms! icon_smile.gif

    In all seriousness, you should run from these idiots. If it's such a problem, maybe get more mirrors in your bedroom.

    I would recommend screening your FBs better, but as they say, true criminals don't walk around with ski masks on.

    Maybe when you hook up with somebody for the first time, maybe get on your back/sit on it so you can be sure the condom is on and functioning as intended.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2012 2:12 AM GMT
    I've had a few guys do similar stuff to me it sucks, especially when you have the mentality of never wanting to bareback, but honestly once they've successfully tricked you in its hard to stop.

    Solution draw red polka dots on your cock.

    WARNING! This may result in no one wanting to fucking you covered or otherwise!
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Feb 07, 2012 2:15 AM GMT
    Be more selective about who you hook up with and let them know up front that you always use condoms - 100% of the time. If he tries something, have the fortitude to leave.
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    Feb 09, 2012 7:33 PM GMT
    SwimBIkeRun949 saidI'll make you a deal ruready, I will happily top you and I'll even wear two condoms! icon_smile.gif

    In all seriousness, you should run from these idiots. If it's such a problem, maybe get more mirrors in your bedroom.

    I would recommend screening your FBs better, but as they say, true criminals don't walk around with ski masks on.

    Maybe when you hook up with somebody for the first time, maybe get on your back/sit on it so you can be sure the condom is on and functioning as intended.



    I hope you don't use two condoms! That increases the chances of breaking (two will create friction and tear the other).
  • haggiedc2

    Posts: 53

    Mar 20, 2012 4:53 AM GMT
    I am somewhat suprised...as we have a culture were guys are very open about wanting to bareback..... There is a sub culture that bareback tops and bttms are very open about there desires.....I think in order to avoid this happening again is to have a sex conversation...we as gay men are not hesitant to ask what we like or dont like...or "what we get into"...or we are quick to ask about HIV status...but it seems that the question about if one likes to bareback is rarely discussed......If a person is a barebacker....the talk of condoms is not a sexy conversation and in most cases they will take a pass on you if you are committed and unwavering about your safe sex practice....however...if you do not have that conversation...they will try or assume what they wish. As I do not judge anyone...we must remember we are responsible for the protection of our bodies and should not relay on the honesty of others to protect it. I do not pass judgement on anyone.... so I say....have open dialog so all parties are on the same page and all will enjoy whatever experience they choose to have.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 21, 2012 9:45 AM GMT
    As a top I have had many, yes many bottoms trying their best to squeeze the condom off while fucking, you power bottoms know what i mean.
    Or the constant touching of the condom which i understand they could be checking to make sure its on... but When the bottom tries to yank at the condom by putting their finger in and letting it slide thats when its over.

    I have also always wondered when the condom comes half way down your cock or is just sitting on the head, why not many of the guys I fucked see this as an issue? I mean isnt that the same as barebacking? Surely there would be an increased risk of say gentital warts as one example.
  • DR2K

    Posts: 346

    Mar 22, 2012 7:38 PM GMT
    Stop hooking up would be the only guarantee.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2012 2:19 AM GMT
    turn him over and fuck the shot out of him bareback end of discussion

  • Apr 16, 2012 8:08 AM GMT
    he is a sociopath or psychopath
    saying no to barebacking should not be a problem
    if a guy is that aggressive- you are either hooking up at dangerous places or have very very bad taste in men.
    keep a bottle of pepper spray by the bed, or wherever, if someone gets that way and u feel threatened, tell him to get the fuck out.
    why the trend in barebacking? do we want a new AIDS epidemic? we will have even less public sympathy this time around.
    are gay men that lonely and isolated that they crave barebacking to have some intimacy and connection? we need a spiritual revolution in the gay community, not a sexual one.
  • ready1727

    Posts: 4

    May 21, 2012 7:44 AM GMT
    I understand the anger in most of these replies...but nothing that is really helpful or constructive.

    It is really tough in certain positions as a bottom. I rarely bottom and it is always with someone either I know, am dating or have fucked a few times already.

    When topping I had some little shit say it came off inside him (i was young and it never occurred to me he was lying)...later I found it tucked between the mattress and my headboard.

    People are fucked in the head sometimes. I try ask little things to try and get a reading on how trust worthy they are...I know it is kind of vague...but many times the signs are there.