How to get your ass ready to be fucked!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2012 1:10 AM GMT
    This is the first in a series of "Dear GAMRican" threads. Enjoy both the "serious" and the "tongue-in-cheek" flavors!

    In another thread, another RJ'er asked do i just suck at bottoming...should i give up if i do?

    Somwhere in that thread I offered the suggestion of cleaning himself out thoroughly with a plumbed shower douche hose (as opposed to the use of a gravity bag).

    Further, another RJ'er private messaged me with the following "follow up question" (with my comments in Green inserted):


    ...I took your advice and ditched the plastic gravity bag for the "clearstream" shower douche kit. I've only used it a couple of times and I'm finding I'm having some of the same problems that kid was having. :-(

    I think I'm actually giving myself a full colonic, haha --there's WAY more happening than before. It's taking 10-12 washouts, and it's pretty obvious that the middle ones are from stuff past the inner sphincter, as there's no solidity, just very dirty liquid.

    This is natural, and yes you are successfully giving yourself a high colonic. Yes, it will take more washouts to run clean. The trick is to allow the water to go in while you are in different positions. Standing, laying on your back in the tub, laying in your tummy in the tub. Standing, and when you feel the internal pressure, raise your left arm and arch your body to the right (stretching your left side). Then, just remove the hose and hold your water as long as you can. Use a hot of poppers if you like these. Then, relax and allow the water to flow out naturally. Do not force. This causes your sphincters to tighten and hold back some of the waste. You may need to massage your tummy, always working your hand motion from your right side to your left and then down going with the direction of the colon. After you feel empty, you may need to sit on the toilet intermittently for about 30 minutes to allow the remaining water to release. Then, just go lay down and take a nap. When you feel the need to eliminate, do so. Repeat until you run clean, or just have a little dribble of light brown liquid.


    And, like that kid was experiencing, I find that water is getting trapped and wants to come out later (but that's why I'm doing so many rinses, so at least it's fairly clean....and I'm hoping what does come back into the colon gets absorbed.

    Also try relaxing and doing a bit of a "belly dance". Once you take a nap the excess water will be absorbed by your body.


    I've actually noticed that I have to piss pretty bad half an hour later --I take it I'm getting hydrated from the water being reabsorbed. The results have been good in the end though...the guy I'm seeing went to town rimming me and we necked plenty after that and no hint of unwanted flavour, haha. Haven't gotten pounded yet, but looking forward to that. :-)

    This is natural. Also, the deep cleansing can't help but stimulate your prostate. Don't be surprised if you find yourself pre-cummming as well.


    Questions: what pressure do you use? (I think I may have the water flow too vigorous.) Is there a nuance to the technique to just wash out the colon, or is having water backflow into the intestine pretty much unavoidable?

    I vary the pressure depending upon my mood and where I am in the cleansing process. Generally, early I use lower pressure. Later, I use higher pressure and relax my muscles so that there is almost a simultaneous flow deep up in, and out. This is how I get myself most clean.


    And how long do you usually wait after washing before shoving a dick up there with confidence? :-)

    Generally, I like to complete my cleansing about 3-4 hours before I have anal sex. Once I've gone through the process about (which can take several hours), I'm ready to take on the team with confidence. "Touch ups" can be done with very low pressure.



    If you don't have time, no worries! Just thought I'd ask the expert, hahaha. :-)


    I'm always happy to help other men enjoy great anal sex!


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2012 3:04 AM GMT
    I once rode 250 miles by motorcycle to a gay group function being held the next day. One of the members offered to put me up at his place overnight. My first order of business after arriving near evening was to take a shower, as it had been a hot ride in my leathers.

    His shower had this hose with a slender wand at the end, all perforated with holes. I'd never seen anything like it, but slowly it dawned on me that it was for anal douching. OK, I thought, this guy is a serious bottom.

    He also showered as bedtime approached, and he offered me his spare bedroom, but he apologized that it didn't have good air conditioning, or a TV, and said I could sleep in his bed with him instead, if it didn't bother me. I know an invitation for sex when I hear one.

    As I joined him in his bed I asked him if he minded if I slept naked, my usual habit (and that was really true). He said no, and said he usually slept that way himself, quickly stripping off the underwear he was wearing, oblivious to the contradiction.

    Needless to say we were soon fucking, and great sex it was, this guy the power bottom I thought he was. Actually the best I ever had, the guy a real master, and totally clean. I'm not a regular bottom, but if you are, that shower wand thingie sure seemed effective.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 19, 2012 10:10 PM GMT
    OMG that seems like WAY to much work for sex.

    What ever happened to spontaneity?

    If ya worried wear a rubber OR have him wear a female condom.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 19, 2012 10:50 PM GMT
    GAMRican, you are nuts!

    You shouldn't be giving yourself a colonic to prepare for sex! Those shower douches are supposed to spray water in WHILE letting water rinse out. You're not supposed to clamp down on it and fill yourself up until it angers the intestinal gods.

    Go poop, rinse out the rectum (little water needed), expel, repeat until clear. Going higher just pulls undigested food down and leaves you with pockets of water to thin out the lube during sex.
  • musclmed

    Posts: 3287

    Feb 20, 2012 6:19 AM GMT
    GAMRican saidIn another thread, another RJ'er asked do i just suck at bottoming...should i give up if i do?

    I've actually noticed that I have to piss pretty bad half an hour later --I take it I'm getting hydrated from the water being reabsorbed. The results have been good in the end though...the guy I'm seeing went to town rimming me and we necked plenty after that and no hint of unwanted flavour, haha. Haven't gotten pounded yet, but looking forward to that. :-)

    I'm always happy to help other men enjoy great anal sex!




    This method of using large volumes of tap water for enemas can be dangerous.

    the colon was not meant to absorb dilute hypotonic fluid. Absorb enough water and you can develop a serious drop in your blood sodium level.

    When the blood sodium drops low enough you can develop water intoxication.

    I don't recommend this. Use fleet naturals.
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    Feb 22, 2012 6:12 AM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    Needless to say we were soon fucking, and great sex it was, this guy the power bottom I thought he was. Actually the best I ever had, the guy a real master, and totally clean.


    Really? The best you ever had? What would CARMINE say if he were to read that?
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    Feb 23, 2012 2:28 AM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    SkinnyBitch saidGAMRican, you are nuts!

    You shouldn't be giving yourself a colonic to prepare for sex! Those shower douches are supposed to spray water in WHILE letting water rinse out. You're not supposed to clamp down on it and fill yourself up until it angers the intestinal gods.

    Go poop, rinse out the rectum (little water needed), expel, repeat until clear. Going higher just pulls undigested food down and leaves you with pockets of water to thin out the lube during sex.

    The water gets absorbed pretty quick. :-)

    I'm new to this, but I like the results. I don't even particularly like getting rimmed, but if I'm gonna, I sure as heck don't want to be tasting anything when we kiss again. And off smells are off-putting.

    Sure, it takes a bit of planning, but I'm old, lol....I'm not the guy who wants to be ready for anal anytime, anywhere with anyone. It's a planned event for me, if it's gonna happen at all. icon_biggrin.gif


    @SkinnyBitch - Yes, I am nuts. I'm also a gentleman on the streets, and a freak between the sheets...and I OWN it. icon_biggrin.gif

    @yourname2000 - Isn't the planning a great part of the fun? Glad you like the results, yn2k. icon_biggrin.gif

    @musclmed - I've been doing this for over a decade. I haven't died yet. Enjoy your Fleet! I'll enjoy my hose. I even take one on the road with me. I've got one here in Peoria!
  • musclmed

    Posts: 3287

    Feb 23, 2012 3:57 AM GMT
    GAMRican said
    yourname2000 said
    SkinnyBitch saidGAMRican, you are nuts!


    f" />


    @SkinnyBitch - Yes, I am nuts. I'm also a gentleman on the streets, and a freak between the sheets...and I OWN it. icon_biggrin.gif

    @yourname2000 - Isn't the planning a great part of the fun? Glad you like the results, yn2k. icon_biggrin.gif

    @musclmed - I've been doing this for over a decade. I haven't died yet. Enjoy your Fleet! I'll enjoy my hose. I even take one on the road with me. I've got one here in Peoria!


    Well of course you have a complete right to do this.

    But it is true hypotonic enemas are not safe in large volumes. I posted because occasionally ( 1-2x per year someone will get admitted locally with electrolyte imbalances from colonic s (mostly done at home).
    I hope it works out in the future but I am sure other members would want to know if this is safe or advisable.
    I am sorry it just is not safe.

    If you used saline it would be safer. FYI

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 23, 2012 4:25 AM GMT
    THE HORROR. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! icon_eek.gif

    10-12?????


    The world will be a better place with me being celibate because I couldn't go in the bathroom and witness that.
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    Feb 26, 2012 4:27 PM GMT
    I likes me a cleaned out bottom... no smells or oozes = me rimming you for a long time. ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 26, 2012 10:19 PM GMT
    The bottom has to prepare so much... wow, I guess I need to learn more about how gay sex goes down. I just thought it's like the porn where you just get to the sex lol.
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    Feb 27, 2012 9:08 AM GMT
    AlphaTrigger saidI likes me a cleaned out bottom... no smells or oozes = me rimming you for a long time. ;)


    Bottoms like themselves cleaned out too. Everyone would also like their partner to spend hours in hair & makeup to make them look their most optimal possible in terms of looks. But the question is, how much is fair for them to go through to please the top.

    It's very easy for the tops here to say the bottom should be changing his eating habits and spending all of this time in the bathroom to circumvent a bodily function so that they can be ready to please their partner at any moment. The expectation wouldn't be the same if both partners had to do this.

    Even though a sparkling clean shit chute may make you guys salivate, try to keep in mind that bottoms new to anal sex are reading this and forming their opinions of what "normal" is. You're more likely to turn them off of bottoming completely with this gauntlet for them to complete.
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    Feb 29, 2012 1:20 AM GMT
    So if me and someone were to want to have sex randomly (well the intimacy made it reach that level) we'd have to stop to clean ourselves with a hose?

    How exactly do you do this process?
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    Feb 29, 2012 2:11 AM GMT
    This is why I've only bottomed twice in my life. I feel it takes lots of planning I too think I used way to much water to the point of full on colonic.
  • musclmed

    Posts: 3287

    Feb 29, 2012 5:46 AM GMT
    MarkRoger saidSo if me and someone were to want to have sex randomly (well the intimacy made it reach that level) we'd have to stop to clean ourselves with a hose?

    How exactly do you do this process?


    fleets naturals , google it
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    Feb 29, 2012 6:28 AM GMT
    SkinnyBitch said
    AlphaTrigger saidI likes me a cleaned out bottom... no smells or oozes = me rimming you for a long time. ;)


    Bottoms like themselves cleaned out too. Everyone would also like their partner to spend hours in hair & makeup to make them look their most optimal possible in terms of looks. But the question is, how much is fair for them to go through to please the top.

    It's very easy for the tops here to say the bottom should be changing his eating habits and spending all of this time in the bathroom to circumvent a bodily function so that they can be ready to please their partner at any moment. The expectation wouldn't be the same if both partners had to do this.

    Even though a sparkling clean shit chute may make you guys salivate, try to keep in mind that bottoms new to anal sex are reading this and forming their opinions of what "normal" is. You're more likely to turn them off of bottoming completely with this gauntlet for them to complete.


    True bottoms have that "itch" that has to be scratched and will do anything to make that "scratch" as pleasurable as possible.
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    Feb 29, 2012 10:59 AM GMT
    Jeee! I dnt know if i wana be bottom this is scary haven to flush ur ass wit water only 2 please some1. Im freaked out, so you have 2 know an plan every sexual incounter!
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    Jul 19, 2012 3:02 PM GMT
    SkinnyBitch said
    AlphaTrigger saidI likes me a cleaned out bottom... no smells or oozes = me rimming you for a long time. ;)


    Bottoms like themselves cleaned out too. Everyone would also like their partner to spend hours in hair & makeup to make them look their most optimal possible in terms of looks. But the question is, how much is fair for them to go through to please the top.

    It's very easy for the tops here to say the bottom should be changing his eating habits and spending all of this time in the bathroom to circumvent a bodily function so that they can be ready to please their partner at any moment. The expectation wouldn't be the same if both partners had to do this.

    Even though a sparkling clean shit chute may make you guys salivate, try to keep in mind that bottoms new to anal sex are reading this and forming their opinions of what "normal" is. You're more likely to turn them off of bottoming completely with this gauntlet for them to complete.

    ^^^^^^^^
    THIS

    that is an awful lot of effort to go through. i have done similair things myself, thankfully once you get a longer term partner nd not a quickie. you can relax a little. still clean obviously and i quite like the prep sometimes, thinking about whats gonna happen and all that. but this is madness i think its fine to give an individual advice he is asking for but, if you are considering bottoming for the first time, this is not normal. besides being dangerous, spending hours prepping everytime you have sex would be a total mood killer for me at least x
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    Jul 20, 2012 1:52 AM GMT
    i use a female vaginal douche bulb... ($10 compared to the $30 for the same thing in a sex store, however they are black and the fem one is white. It also has more wholes on the side. And I like the white cause i know when its clean)
    It can take several hours to be real clean, but oh so worth the effort! icon_wink.gif
  • allatonce

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    Jul 23, 2012 9:26 PM GMT
    icon_eek.gif

    I'm never going to bottom.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2012 11:27 PM GMT
    allatonce saidicon_eek.gif

    I'm never going to bottom.


    Too bad. You look like you'd make a good one.
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    Jul 24, 2012 3:26 AM GMT
    yourname2000 saidOkay you guys who are freakin' out, just stop it.

    Men have been plowing ass for hundreds of thousands of years. So get a fuckin' grip on yourselves ---of course you can have awesome amazing sex without douching. It's just an extra thing that CAN be done quite easily to minimize the chance of an unpleasant surprise. But "unpleasant surprises" are already pretty damn rare...if your diet is good, you take a dump ahead of time, and give yourself a good finger clean in the shower beforehand, you're likely good to go for 99% of most tops. What a douche does do more effectively (imo) is make rimming a little more enjoyable for both parties...but you may not even like rimming so it may not be an issue.

    Anyway, quit freaking the fuck out about this....it's extra....bonus points....extra credits. Not the minimum standard to play. And besides, if you do want to do it, it's just one more little thing in what is probably a significant list of things you do to attract a partner (including going to the gym, looking and smelling nice, dressing/talking appropriate to your crew, etc). And I actually like doing it...not being "put out" or "put upon".

    Jesus...whining isn't sexy. icon_wink.gif Hop on that fucking dick in whatever shape you want to do it, but do it with gusto. Play safe; ride hard; if you find yourself getting "interrupted" more than you like, then you know there's an option to help minimize that.


    ...tell us how your really feel... icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 05, 2012 10:47 PM GMT
    LOve this thread. Here is another i just begun about anal sex tragedy...

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/2581730
  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Aug 06, 2012 1:20 AM GMT
    yourname2000 saidOkay you guys who are freakin' out, just stop it.

    Men have been plowing ass for hundreds of thousands of years. So get a fuckin' grip on yourselves ---of course you can have awesome amazing sex without douching. It's just an extra thing that CAN be done quite easily to minimize the chance of an unpleasant surprise. But "unpleasant surprises" are already pretty damn rare...if your diet is good, you take a dump ahead of time, and give yourself a good finger clean in the shower beforehand, you're likely good to go for 99% of most tops. What a douche does do more effectively (imo) is make rimming a little more enjoyable for both parties...but you may not even like rimming so it may not be an issue.

    .



    I completely agree with you on that. I think it is insane that some people are saying they take a few hours to complete their process. Eat more salad and fresh fruits and veggies, use the toilet and clean yourself in the shower before sex and use a quality lube and you should be fine.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 07, 2012 4:28 PM GMT
    this is a nice explanation on how to douche, very detailed

    http://www.xtube.com/watch.php?v=IXBUv-G564-