The difficulties of being far from family

  • gooddude1583

    Posts: 100

    Jan 31, 2012 2:36 AM GMT
    My grandma just passed away yesterday. My family is back in Israel while I'm in the US for graduate school. In this time I find it hard and frustrating to be so far from my loved ones. I don't come from a religious family but there is something comforting in the tradition of the "Shiva" where family and friends gather for seven days to remember their loved one. Instead I'm stuck in lab work and classes while my mind is thousands of miles away.
    I know I made the decision to move here by myself but it is in these moments where I miss my family the most.
    Anybody else experiencing life far from family? how do you deal with it?
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    Jan 31, 2012 2:57 AM GMT
    My heart goes out to you, man. *hugs* icon_sad.gif

    As for living far from family, I wouldn't have it any other way. My family is VERY religious (WASP), so I stay as far away as possible.
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    Jan 31, 2012 3:00 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidMy heart goes out to you, man. *hugs* icon_sad.gif

    As for living far from family, I wouldn't have it any other way. My family is VERY religious (WASP), so I stay as far away as possible.
    Ditto!
  • gooddude1583

    Posts: 100

    Jan 31, 2012 3:01 AM GMT
    thanks for the virtual hugs man!
    I guess it depends on the nature of your relationship with your family. I miss mine a lot.
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    Jan 31, 2012 4:53 AM GMT
    Condolence on your loss. There is no greater distance from those you love.

    Shalom
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    Jan 31, 2012 4:57 AM GMT
    I'm sorry for your loss, dude. I'm sure your family is very proud of you!
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Jan 31, 2012 4:59 AM GMT
    My world collapsed around me when my Granny passed. She was the first person to truly accept me. Not bad for an 85 year old Pentecostal lady from Arkansas.

    Im sorry youre far away. I am also sorry for your loss.
  • gooddude1583

    Posts: 100

    Jan 31, 2012 5:23 AM GMT
    Thank you guys for your condolences, it means a lot! I am not out so all I got from her were constant remarks as for my future girlfriend she would want to meet.
    She was 97 with a clear mind; born in a small village in Poland in 1914, immigrated to Israel as a teenager by herself before WW2, lost two siblings in the holocaust. She was a remarkable person, a real socialist and a big believer in human rights. I guess you can say she was truly the classical "yiddishe momme".
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    Jan 31, 2012 9:19 AM GMT
    I will keep you and your family in my prayers friend. I went through something similar in 2010. Janurary, I was getting ready to head back to school and two days before I was supposed to take off to school my aunt passed away suddenly. I couldn't attend her funeral but I wrote a letter and asked someone read it. No one stepped up so my mom did it for me to explain the situation and to also give my throughts on my aunt and things. In July, again while in the middle of getting ready to start summer school, my maternal grandmother passed away. I was there for the funeral but school got put on the back burner and that sort of messed me up the next semester. Fall 2010, my paternal grandpa passed away. He had been sick and I felt bad because I wanted to see him before he passed. He went in to emergency surgery and while I had the money and means to get there... I couldnt because of flooding that was blocking the roads to get to the hospital. Then once it cleared, I was very busy with school so I couldn't go. It was hard and I went through depression after that. My advice to you... keep faith, stay strong and know that they know what you are doing and why you can't be there. They would want you to do what you are doing and be where you are. TRY to find comfort in that.
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    Jan 31, 2012 6:15 PM GMT
    My thoughts are with you and your family .
    Yes , i have the same problem , i work in the U.S and all my family is in Queensland Australia .icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 31, 2012 6:47 PM GMT
    Same position as you. My mother recently passed away after a 10 yr. fight with dementia and I was almost 5000 miles from home.

    Best thing you can do is call your family as much as possible. It's helped me. Of course sometimes I find myself with a bottle of jack danials or case of beer but thats how alot of problems are delt with in the army. Best of luck to you, and sorry for your loss man
  • nomadfornow

    Posts: 1069

    Jan 31, 2012 6:54 PM GMT
    Huge hugs and condolences to you, friend. I can relate. I was in Italy last summer when my mother passed. Fortunately, I was able, with the help of friends, to make it back for the funeral. My dad is now home alone, very depressed, and in poor health. I often feel tremendously guilty for not being able to move home for a while to help him out, but life, money, etc., simply won't allow it. I get back as often as I can to do as much as I can, and keep in daily contact otherwise, but still, it frustrates me that I don't have the means to drop everything and do what I feel I should do. Others have been comforting and encouraging, though, assuring me that it makes no sense to put my life on hold completely. You are doing what you need to do to succeed in life, and it sounds like your family understand and support you in this. Take comfort in that, and know that they are with you in your heart, as you are with them in theirs.
  • gooddude1583

    Posts: 100

    Feb 02, 2012 2:21 AM GMT
    Thanks again for all your warm words folks.
    It's nice to know there are some good guys around here.