This really made my day

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    Feb 02, 2012 4:33 PM GMT
    Ok so, I am working on becoming the president of UCONN's marketing society because the current president didn't feel like he was the right fit for the job. So I would be taking his position of president and he would return to his position from last semester (VP of Guest Relations) which I have currently. This is an awesome opportunity and I would be stupid to not take it.

    Ok so this past monday we had an amazing guest speaker who is the head of marketing for Bob's Discount furniture who also owns his own stop motion business. I wore my jeans and a button down with ONE BUTTON OPEN which is normal. After the meeting, the current president of the club said, "Alex, I know you are gay and all and that is great...I am not asking you to change anything but next time, don't wear shirts with three buttons open showing half your chest."

    I was honestly appalled by this and walked away before saying something nasty. I knew I was dressed appropriately and I hated how he pulled the 'gay card' and said what i was wearing was inappropriate. I have been through way too much and come so far to let this kid judge me for being gay. If he had a problem with what i was wearing, why would he just address that issue and leave out the whole 'gay part'. I am proud of who I am. I also hated how he completely exaggerated what I was wearing.

    So I was going to address him this week at some point and discuss that i wasn't going to tolerate this behavior but he beat me to the punch by sending me this email:

    "Hi, Alex. I just wanted to take a moment and rescind my comment I made to you at the end of the Marketing Society meeting last Monday. I have been thinking about it and realized that it was wrong for me to make such a judgment verbally. In no way am I in a position to critique you or your aesthetic decisions in that way.

    Just know that I think you are extremely competent, both as a student and as a person. There is no other way I would have picked you for the positions I have. Clearly, the way you dress (and act, and behave, and talk, and carry yourself) have led you to much success thus far. Who am I to second-guess that?

    I think the world of your abilities, and I am sorry if my comments may have conveyed otherwise"

    I am glad he owned up to what he did. I know it may seem stupid for me posting this, but I am just glad he owned up to his mistake without me having to do anything about it. I may still talk to him just to lay down some rules and what not.
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    Feb 02, 2012 6:25 PM GMT

    " I may still talk to him just to lay down some rules and what not."


    You know, I wouldn't were I in your situation, as he has already been classy enough to not only admit his mistakes, but apologize and praise you as well.

    icon_wink.gif

    -Doug
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    Feb 03, 2012 12:30 AM GMT
    I think I would play it by ear. However, I think that if the conversation casually presents itself, you can mention that you don't really understand what your sexual orientation has to do with what might be considered an inappropriate outfit choice. I mean if it were an issue, you could button the top button for the meeting.

    I do think it was great that he at least recognized that he was out of line.

    Personally, I would respond with an "apology accepted" message - and might just throw in there in a joking way you thought there was only one button left unbuttoned, but if there was a "wardrobe malfunction" it was purely unintentional.

    It sounds like he is having some self-hatred issues that he's projecting... or he was undressing you in his mind and wanted it to be more buttons...
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    Feb 03, 2012 1:48 AM GMT
    AlexanderB...an amazing guest speaker who is the head of marketing for Bob's Discount furniture who also owns his own stop motion business.


    This is by far the best string of words I've read today.


    By the way, runner up: "I cannot set this friendship in a pestilential Venetian twilight and conclude, as he walks away from me, that what I have discovered is my time of life."

    Ba-Zing!
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    Feb 03, 2012 2:06 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    " I may still talk to him just to lay down some rules and what not."


    You know, I wouldn't were I in your situation, as he has already been classy enough to not only admit his mistakes, but apologize and praise you as well.

    icon_wink.gif

    -Doug


    I agree icon_wink.gif
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    Feb 03, 2012 2:09 AM GMT
    I'd leave it alone. He's acknowledged that he was out of line and apologized. What more do you hope to get out of "laying down some rules"? Being high and mighty about it might push him back in the other direction and make him think he was right to originally criticize you.
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    Feb 03, 2012 2:15 AM GMT
    Nah-uh!

    Notice he didnt say you were dressed appropriately. He didnt correct his mischaracterization of having your shirt "with three buttons open showing half your chest." He just said he is not to judge or "second guess" you. So his description stands for his future reference and use. I would feel that I still had to address that with him.

    Ok, now let's talk about that hair. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Feb 03, 2012 2:22 AM GMT
    No reply needed....not even acknowledgement of his apology....his comments were petty, tacky, classless, bigoted, baseless opinion. He is free to say what he wants, when he is displaying his ignorance for everyone. Be the adult and the consummate professional and ignore his comments....the high road never needs an apology..... Take Care.icon_cool.gif
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    Feb 03, 2012 2:59 AM GMT
    makinmyway said
    meninlove said
    " I may still talk to him just to lay down some rules and what not."


    You know, I wouldn't were I in your situation, as he has already been classy enough to not only admit his mistakes, but apologize and praise you as well.

    icon_wink.gif

    -Doug


    I agree icon_wink.gif

    I concur with the gentlemen above.
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    Feb 03, 2012 3:09 AM GMT
    He should've had the balls to apologize your face since he was disrespectful to your face. I can definitely see why you might still be pissed because you never got a chance to stand up for yourself, face to face. It's like he pleaded guilty without you ever getting to testify against him. But don't let that eat away at you man.

    I find it interesting that he noticed your chest enough for him to get angry about it. I say that because most guys wouldn't even notice how much of your chest is showing nor would they care. In fact, they'd likely assume that you didn't realize it was unbuttoned. I'm not saying he's bicuriously frustrated... but I'd watch him. And definitely don't go eating corndogs or popsicles around him! Who knows what this nutcase might do haha.

    As for addressing the issue, I wouldn't say a word. Let him deal with it on his own and just move on. Just don't be bitter. You have to move on. And keep up the great work.