"nobody wants a bone, but a dog"

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    Feb 03, 2012 10:40 AM GMT
    This is what my bf tells me when I complain that I feel outta shape & need to lose weight. He says he loves my body & hates skinny, boney guys. It makes me feel good to be wanted & loved but I do get tired of trying to achieve the ultimate ripped 6 pack physique.

    Ive come to the realization I just want to be healthy, put on some muscle, have a nice shape & if I have some fat with it than so be it.

    Do you think as gay men we go overboard & put ourselves thru criticism, starvation & stress just to feel attractive? There are so many ways to find someone attractive.
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    Feb 03, 2012 11:52 AM GMT
    redbull said
    Do you think as gay men we go overboard & put ourselves thru criticism, starvation & stress just to feel attractive?


    Don't think gay people do that more than straights... it might be more openly discussed amongst gays tho..
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    Feb 03, 2012 12:03 PM GMT
    I think everyone critiques themselves. Some more than others and some more vocal about it then others.
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    Feb 03, 2012 1:15 PM GMT
    I'm trying for a 6 pack because I've never achieved it before and want to see what I'd look like with one.

    You do need some body fat to provide reserves for illness and exertion; so going below 10% body fat isn't a great thing for a lot of people..

    As long as you have muscle and aren't a skin and bone bag thats still healthy..

    And yes, around where I live, I think that gay men are by and large more preoccupied with appearance than straight guys - at least in the 30-45 age group.

    You look awesome, and if you're happy with where you are in your shape and fitness, then enjoy it icon_smile.gif

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    Feb 03, 2012 1:36 PM GMT
    Anyone that thinks they should be thin are doing it wrong. BE BEEFY.
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    Feb 03, 2012 2:02 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]sc69 said[/cite]I'm trying for a 6 pack because I've never achieved it before and want to see what I'd look like with one.

    You do need some body fat to provide reserves for illness and exertion; so going below 10% body fat isn't a great thing for a lot of people..

    As long as you have muscle and aren't a skin and bone bag thats still healthy..

    And yes, around where I live, I think that gay men are by and large more preoccupied with appearance than straight guys - at least in the 30-45 age group.

    You look awesome, and if you're happy with where you are in your shape and fitness, then enjoy it icon_smile.gif

    [/quote]

    THIS. icon_cool.gif
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    Feb 03, 2012 2:14 PM GMT
    jodgsk said
    redbull said
    Do you think as gay men we go overboard & put ourselves thru criticism, starvation & stress just to feel attractive?


    Don't think gay people do that more than straights... it might be more openly discussed amongst gays tho..


    It's ingrained into society. Look like the guy on tv. Be that good, no matter how ridiculous, all the time. It's more of a personal realization you're having here; cause it takes something like this to own your body; after you've gone through all the pains and strides to sculpt the perfect physique. I think it is very important that you have. You are your own measure of success now!
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    Feb 03, 2012 3:09 PM GMT
    There's more to life than a 6 pack.

    It's called an 8 pack.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Feb 03, 2012 8:04 PM GMT
    redbull saidThis is what my bf tells me when I complain that I feel outta shape & need to lose weight. He says he loves my body & hates skinny, boney guys. It makes me feel good to be wanted & loved but I do get tired of trying to achieve the ultimate ripped 6 pack physique.

    Ive come to the realization I just want to be healthy, put on some muscle, have a nice shape & if I have some fat with it than so be it.

    Do you think as gay men we go overboard & put ourselves thru criticism, starvation & stress just to feel attractive? There are so many ways to find someone attractive.
    redbull, its not a gay thing. its a man thing. most men are hard on themselves. take it from a guy who still thinks he can get in better shape. everyone i know loves my body and thinks its great but i think it could be better
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    Feb 03, 2012 8:14 PM GMT
    Do these jeans make me look fat?
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Feb 03, 2012 8:40 PM GMT
    Do my genes make me look fat?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 03, 2012 9:30 PM GMT
    redbull saidThis is what my bf tells me when I complain that I feel outta shape & need to lose weight. He says he loves my body & hates skinny, boney guys. It makes me feel good to be wanted & loved but I do get tired of trying to achieve the ultimate ripped 6 pack physique.

    Ive come to the realization I just want to be healthy, put on some muscle, have a nice shape & if I have some fat with it than so be it.

    Do you think as gay men we go overboard & put ourselves thru criticism, starvation & stress just to feel attractive? There are so many ways to find someone attractive.


    Straight people do this too, but they are less harsh on themselves. I can cite my source on this one icon_razz.gif
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    Feb 03, 2012 10:02 PM GMT
    adam228 said

    Straight people do this too, but they are less harsh on themselves. I can cite my source on this one icon_razz.gif


    I agree with this statement. At the same time, I think there seems to be very distinct differences in body image for men >35 years old. Straight men >35 have a different outlook and goal for thier body than gay men >35.
  • commoncoll

    Posts: 1222

    Feb 03, 2012 10:21 PM GMT
    redbull said
    Do you think as gay men we go overboard & put ourselves thru criticism, starvation & stress just to feel attractive?

    No. All people do it. It probably has to do with that the average man is overweight, therefore, the average gay man is also overweight.

    Most don't starve and stress to feel attractive though. Most just do it through hard work and copious complaining.
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    Feb 03, 2012 11:03 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidThere's more to life than a 6 pack.

    It's called an 8 pack 12 pack.


    Fixed that for ya! icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 03, 2012 11:20 PM GMT
    When I see a guy with defined abs AND solid large muscle, I'm impressed from the standpoint that takes a lot of dedication and effort but I wouldn't say its something I find particularly attractive. Most guys that have abs though are just really skinny and have no more muscle than the average guy - just so skinny they look toned. Same as body builders, they're just way too huge and I don't find that attractive but I appreciate the effort and dedication it takes.

    As far as actually attractive goes though, solid muscular guys are way hotter imo.
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    Feb 03, 2012 11:44 PM GMT
    I don't think a guy needs a 6 pack to be attractive. I want it for me but only because for me it's easy to achieve. People shouldn't try to imitate the fat levels which are perfectly natural and healthy for ectomorphs.

    redbullIve come to the realization I just want to be healthy, put on some muscle, have a nice shape & if I have some fat with it than so be it.


    That's hard enough I think! icon_smile.gif

    Anything that comes close to what an average mesomorph guy would look like with a bit of dedication in the gym is very attractive to me (and the whole world...)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 03, 2012 11:46 PM GMT
    Everyone's their own critic. Everyone complains about not having the body they want... like body builders, who as ripped as they are, still want to get bigger.
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    Feb 03, 2012 11:51 PM GMT
    I think it all goes back to the fact that we know how we judge based on appearance, so we expect that other guys judge the same way. I am learning that isn't always true.

    My journey has been different than a lot of your journeys because I had a lot to lose. I would love a 6 pack, but I don't know if I'll ever have one. Yet, I do believe that you have to do what will make you happy. I mean, I have actually been told that I looked better fat by some. I didn't lose weight for them, I did it for me. I feel better, look better, and am happier. That happiness makes me more attractive to people. Probably more than a 6-pack.
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    Feb 03, 2012 11:51 PM GMT
    The only reason I began gyming to put on weight was becuase I'm naturally attracted to bigger muscular men. But after having gymed regularly and getting into the habit it has become less for others and more for myself. I'm more focused on improving myself and less focused on the guy in my dreams because he'll never repay my efforts.
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    Feb 03, 2012 11:55 PM GMT
    Back abs

    FTW
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    Feb 04, 2012 3:57 AM GMT
    sc69 saidgoing below 10% body fat isn't a great thing for a lot of people..




    Though extremely difficult to achieve for the grand majority.
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    Feb 04, 2012 4:22 AM GMT
    I agree. A bit of fat is not the end of the world. I definitely would prefer someone who knew how to relax once in a while and enjoy:
    6a00d8357f7ead69e2010536a579b7970c-800wi
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    Feb 04, 2012 4:25 AM GMT
    Claystation saidBack abs

    FTW


    See, I prefer to call mine my second ass - or upper ass...
    (still flabby)
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    Feb 04, 2012 4:27 AM GMT
    Take it that means I want a done, does anyone want me?