How to forget one? Gay love is a fantasy?

  • FrankTN

    Posts: 5

    Feb 04, 2012 1:15 AM GMT
    Hi folks,

    I don't wanna attract attention with my personal story but I really need some advices from you guys.

    I am 24 years old, abroad student in Italy, I had not been in a relationship with any man because I don't believe in what called "love" in gay life or I had never met a right guy. But a month ago, I met a guy who change my way of thinking. I miss him much after the first date and took any chance to talk with him. We had sex at the second dating. After that, I tried to text him, call him just to make sure him be fine and keep in touch. I thought of him all day. He said he liked me and the way he touched me made me feel that.

    But it seems to him that I cared too much and kind of bother him in some way. One day, when he said he will come to German and drive back. I text/call him to know if he arrived and came back and no reply. I was very worried so I text him about my feeling and asked him let me know if he's with his phone. Finally, he got angry and asked me not to bother him more or he will block my phone. I got shocked and said sorry coz I cared him too much. Am I wrong when caring him too much? Or just coz he is no longer into me?

    Now he try to keep away from me and he said it's better to live our own life, there will be problems if keeping friendship. He wishes a good life.

    He is Italian but doesn't like Italian guys because they care too much on appearance and don't care what others do. I am impressed by it. And many other things that changed my opinions about Italian gay. I also had never thought that I will be into an over 40 guy. He is 46.7 now. But what I do seems to have no meaning to him. I never regret what I did but what left now just misery. now I miss him so much. I find it not difficult to find a sex partner because I am not bad at looking, I'm confident with my appearance. But now I need what called "love". Or love is just a fantasy? What should I do to get over this? I am very sad and don't want to be weak like this...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2012 2:13 AM GMT
    lol, you think you are weak? I don't think so. I think it takes a good man to recognize his own feelings and not be afraid to analyse them.

    Instead of trying to forget him, I think it's better to consider him part of your personal history that makes up the personality of FrankTN.

    icon_wink.gif

  • FrankTN

    Posts: 5

    Feb 04, 2012 5:50 AM GMT
    meninlove said lol, you think you are weak? I don't think so. I think it takes a good man to recognize his own feelings and not be afraid to analyse them.

    Instead of trying to forget him, I think it's better to consider him part of your personal history that makes up the personality of FrankTN.

    icon_wink.gif



    Thank you for your advice. The more I try to forget, the more I miss him...Damn it.. icon_sad.gif(
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2012 6:16 AM GMT
    FrankTN said
    meninlove said lol, you think you are weak? I don't think so. I think it takes a good man to recognize his own feelings and not be afraid to analyse them.

    Instead of trying to forget him, I think it's better to consider him part of your personal history that makes up the personality of FrankTN.

    icon_wink.gif



    Thank you for your advice. The more I try to forget, the more I miss him...Damn it.. icon_sad.gif(


    Perhaps in your reply is the answer; if you stop trying to forget him and instead remember why it didn't work and his behaviour towards you when you showed how you felt it might be easier to let him go because he's incompatible with you.

    warmly,

    -Doug

  • FrankTN

    Posts: 5

    Feb 06, 2012 8:47 PM GMT
    I cannot stand, I took a train to wait at his door. He know it and he did not come home though I waited there over the cold night. Am I too stupid? Am I blind? I still hope but it hurts me day by day...
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    Feb 07, 2012 2:29 PM GMT
    FrankTN saidI cannot stand, I took a train to wait at his door. He know it and he did not come home though I waited there over the cold night. Am I too stupid? Am I blind? I still hope but it hurts me day by day...


    Well, what are you hoping for?
    He is a man that said you bother him.
    He is a man that got angry about it.
    He is a man that is trying to keep away from you.

    This is not love, or being in love, which requires BOTH people to feel the same way. It must be Gegenseitig, and it is not.

    A man will come who will be willing to wait at your door for YOU. Save your loving for that one.


    warmly,
    -Doug
  • FrankTN

    Posts: 5

    Feb 17, 2012 11:32 AM GMT
    Thank you very much.
    I am fine now. it may hurt sometimes but i get used to it and let it go.
    And i know myself better from this experience.
    icon_smile.gif