When is celebrating Valentine's Day appropriate?

  • hartfan

    Posts: 1037

    Feb 06, 2012 5:10 PM GMT
    Hey everyone,

    How many dates and what stage of a relationship would be appropriate before you decide to do something special for Valentine's Day? If you still don't know where you stand, is it appropriate to bring up celebrating Valentine's Day? Thanks for your help guys.
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    Feb 06, 2012 6:54 PM GMT
    hartfan saidHey everyone,

    How many dates and what stage of a relationship would be appropriate before you decide to do something special for Valentine's Day? If you still don't know where you stand, is it appropriate to bring up celebrating Valentine's Day? Thanks for your help guys.



    I think at any stage, even when there is no relationship, as a gesture on Valentine's Day has the potential to start one. icon_wink.gif

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    Feb 06, 2012 8:24 PM GMT
    You don't have to do a big romantic gesture and pledge undying love for the guy if you're not there in your relationship.
    The point, though, is the message you're sending-- I want to spend this day with you. Or, maybe, I'd rather spend Valentine's with you than spend it without you.
  • hartfan

    Posts: 1037

    Feb 07, 2012 5:44 PM GMT
    MolaMola saidYou don't have to do a big romantic gesture and pledge undying love for the guy if you're not there in your relationship.
    The point, though, is the message you're sending-- I want to spend this day with you. Or, maybe, I'd rather spend Valentine's with you than spend it without you.


    Any suggestion on how to send this message across? Or just declaring it directly good enough?
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    Feb 07, 2012 5:54 PM GMT
    hartfan said
    MolaMola saidYou don't have to do a big romantic gesture and pledge undying love for the guy if you're not there in your relationship.
    The point, though, is the message you're sending-- I want to spend this day with you. Or, maybe, I'd rather spend Valentine's with you than spend it without you.


    Any suggestion on how to send this message across? Or just declaring it directly good enough?


    Some kinda food item works, if you know what he likes. Big thing is not to put him on the spot if you feel unsure about your "Status" ... do something simple but nice for him that isn't going to make him feel like shit if he didn't think to do something. I.e. if you know what he likes to eat offer to make dinner for the two of you, maybe with some kind of slightly naughty dessert like chocolate-covered strawberries LOL

    Some guys (including my BF) don't feel comfy with going to a "date place" where you will be surrounded by straight couples so make sure you don't do anything that could backfire.
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    Feb 07, 2012 5:55 PM GMT
    hartfan said
    MolaMola saidYou don't have to do a big romantic gesture and pledge undying love for the guy if you're not there in your relationship.
    The point, though, is the message you're sending-- I want to spend this day with you. Or, maybe, I'd rather spend Valentine's with you than spend it without you.


    Any suggestion on how to send this message across? Or just declaring it directly good enough?


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    Feb 08, 2012 5:41 AM GMT
    hartfan said
    MolaMola saidYou don't have to do a big romantic gesture and pledge undying love for the guy if you're not there in your relationship.
    The point, though, is the message you're sending-- I want to spend this day with you. Or, maybe, I'd rather spend Valentine's with you than spend it without you.


    Any suggestion on how to send this message across? Or just declaring it directly good enough?

    Just talk to the guy about making plans for next Tuesday.
    It doesn't have to be a Valentine's thing, but you can judge where the two of you are and what you want in your conversation with the guy.
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    Feb 08, 2012 12:34 PM GMT
    Never. Its a made up holiday designed to sell chocolate to fat chicks.
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    Feb 08, 2012 12:51 PM GMT
    Whenever you feel like it.
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    Feb 08, 2012 2:13 PM GMT
    meninlove said I think at any stage, even when there is no relationship, as a gesture on Valentine's Day has the potential to start one. icon_wink.gif

    I agree. Maybe not the guy you just met last week at the club, but if you've successfully dated at least a couple of times, perhaps slept with already, you should get him something for V-day.

    And if you're like us, and another couple we know, V-day can also nicely coincide with the first time you met, or proposed or married/committed, or did something memorable in your relationship. Then it becomes a personal anniversary you are celebrating as well, as when next Tuesday, Feb 14, my husband & I commemorate the first time we met 5 years ago. Not on that exact date, but close enough to exploit the nearness.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Feb 08, 2012 2:15 PM GMT
    I agree with the above. Valentines Day isn't one of our favorites to celebrate. My partner just isn't into it, not that we haven't a number of years. We did during the first year we were involved and it was very nice.
    We are not this year because of how my partner is feeling after the recent loss of his beagle. Just not in the mood.
  • patmos9990

    Posts: 146

    Feb 08, 2012 2:38 PM GMT
    My favorite Valentine thing to do is go to Build A Bear and make them whatever their favorite pet is. It's simple but shows that you went out of your way rather than just picking something up at CVS.
  • hartfan

    Posts: 1037

    Feb 08, 2012 5:43 PM GMT
    Thanks for your advice and suggestion guys. Still not sure if I should ask or not. I worry I may freak the guy out.