Attraction vs. Aproval?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2012 11:38 PM GMT
    I was in the sauna and steam room at the gym today, and i was trying to figure out when we're in the gym and we find a guy hot or whatever... would that be due to sexual/physical attraction or is it simply approval?

    i mean, with regards to aproval.. you see a guy that has an amazing body... do you want to be like him and looking for approval from him? (maybe like mates or train together or anything like that)

    OR

    Is it simply attraction?

    I was thinking that half of the guys that i find hot at the gym, i wouldn't want to do anything with... so got confused...

    Just wondering if anyone has any thoughts on this icon_smile.gif

  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Feb 06, 2012 11:48 PM GMT
    You should spend more time working out than thinking about this crap at the gymicon_idea.gif
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    Feb 06, 2012 11:57 PM GMT
    like i said, this was at the sauna and steam room...i'd finished my work out and was chilling out.

    nothing wrong with thinking things anyway
  • mizu5

    Posts: 2599

    Feb 06, 2012 11:59 PM GMT
    skullandsurf saidlike i said, this was at the sauna and steam room...i'd finished my work out and was chilling out.

    nothing wrong with thinking things anyway
    You'lllern that on RJ is you talk about doing anything at the gym, other than working out mindlessly, you won't be taken seriously. Thinking at the gym is strictly prohibited. Also, don't cruise.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2012 12:04 AM GMT
    i wasn't cruising though? :/

    i was literally wondering about how people thought about things?

    i wouldn't do anything :s
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2012 12:05 AM GMT
    Maybe i went around this topic wrongly...

    Nothing to do with the gym then.. just guys in general?
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    Feb 07, 2012 1:45 AM GMT
    don't worry, I'M here and I'M kind, open-minded and serious

    SO, basically, if you're looking for approval it means that you're just insecure about yourself. you need someone else to tell you that you're good enough and that's not normal. you should depend on YOURSELF and no one else than YOURSELF.
    since u said that u woudnt do anything sexual than yeah, i guess u're longing for the other men to approve of our presence there. then again, at a gym its "kinda" normal cuz you're in front of huge guys so i get the fact that you're all intimitated and stuff but seriously just let it go, they all started thin/fat etc.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2012 1:48 AM GMT
    I don't think I've ever found a guy hot and NOT been attracted to him. Kinda the same thing.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Feb 07, 2012 1:49 AM GMT
    how old are you? i thought after high school people stopped looking for approval. if i see a hot guy in the gym. it makes me want to work harder to achieve the body that i want to
  • metta

    Posts: 39104

    Feb 07, 2012 1:52 AM GMT
    huhwhat saidI don't think I've ever found a guy hot and NOT been attracted to him. Kinda the same thing.


    Not really. Have you every met a physically attractive self-centered obnoxious jerk? Or what about an attractive guy that is drugged out?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2012 1:58 AM GMT
    metta8 said
    huhwhat saidI don't think I've ever found a guy hot and NOT been attracted to him. Kinda the same thing.


    Not really. Have you every met a physically attractive self-centered obnoxious jerk? Or what about an attractive guy that is drugged out?


    Ah, ok. Yeah, I lose the attraction once I find out they're an asshole. Transversely, an awesome personality can get me hot and bothered.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2012 1:59 AM GMT
    When I find a woman very beautiful, it doesn't mean I want to bed her, and it doesn't mean I want to look like her.

    So there is the third explanation for looking at good body : aesthetic sens.
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    Feb 07, 2012 2:14 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said
    Ruskach saiddon't worry, I'M here and I'M kind, open-minded and serious

    SO, basically, if you're looking for approval it means that you're just insecure about yourself. you need someone else to tell you that you're good enough and that's not normal. you should depend on YOURSELF and no one else than YOURSELF.


    Although I do see tremendous value as to what you stated above, it's not that cut and dry. If I may contribute my thoughts regarding "acceptance/approval" in my dating history:

    In a nutshell, I had a very absent father during my childhood life. He was sick with two degenerative diseases and eventually passed on when I was twelve. Much later in life, as an adult I noticed a pattern in myself where I was looking for approval/acceptance from men in an inappropriate way for dating. I was drawn to men who were typically much older than me and who had a level of tangible success that I lacked. Basically, fatherly figures.

    I became aware of this, thankfully, and made some huge adjustments in my approach. I guess you could say it was due to my own insecurity for wanting something from men that I never got at home. But I would probably reference it as something I never knew that I missed until I became conscious of my dating patterns.

    Overall, I think we all want to have a level of acceptance within certain groups. It's only natural. The goal, I believe, is to have a healthy balance and to not compromise ourselves.

    To answer the question, many gorgeous men out there might look great. But I don't want their acceptance simply based on their looks. They might be inspiration for me to work harder in the gym, however. My whole rant above was more on an emotional/deeper level, not about someone's looks. But I thought I would exploit the moment to make it about me. icon_twisted.gif



    =')

    tissues pleaseee!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2012 2:16 AM GMT
    it's sad when your entire self-worth depends on what other people think about u.

    icon_confused.gif

    for everyone else that grew up, there are a lot funner things to do with ur time .
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    Feb 07, 2012 2:26 AM GMT
    ChangeofName saidit's sad when your entire self-worth depends on what other people think about u.

    icon_confused.gif

    for everyone else that grew up, there are a lot funner things to do with ur time .


    You're correct, but you should add that the opposite is as sad, some people don't care at all about others feelings toward them.

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    Feb 07, 2012 2:30 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said
    Ruskach said

    =')

    tissues pleaseee!


    You're taunting me! icon_sad.gif


    Yep, it was not nice
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    Feb 07, 2012 2:32 AM GMT
    Ohh, I've thought of this before. My way of putting it was, "Would you rather be like them, with them or both?"

    But focus on your workout buddy. Find a spotter, gym buddy and make buds while you're there. Let someone else ask themselves these questions.
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    Feb 07, 2012 2:33 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said
    Ruskach said

    =')

    tissues pleaseee!


    You're taunting me! icon_sad.gif


    im totally not
    im seriously touched by what u wrote and i find it very constructive and i totally agree with each word you said…….. im not sarcastic.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2012 2:33 AM GMT
    It's sexual approval.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2012 3:42 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said
    Ruskach said
    im totally not
    im seriously touched by what u wrote and i find it very constructive and i totally agree with each word you said…….. im not sarcastic.


    Ah, okay. Thought you might be. icon_razz.gif I didn't want to sound like a victim with what I wrote. My point was to contribute how I related to the topic but how I was able to become aware of a certain dynamic in my life and because if it, I made alterations. I feel very fortunate to understand that part of myself. That's all. icon_wink.gif


    And you contributed very well from my opinion. I loved the last part.
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    Feb 07, 2012 6:39 AM GMT

    YCYL