Came out to Fiance and she shunned me ..

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    Jun 29, 2008 3:21 AM GMT
    Hey, I am new here and seems like a great place guys. Anyway, I have an issue; I am Bi and have been my whole life but starting to realize I may be more Gay than I thought and think about guys all of the time, I live in Nicaragua with my fiance and there is no gay life here and she did not know about my gay side until last night when I came out to her and she has not talked to me since as she says it is unnatural and cannot be with me, I do
    really care for her but now I am not sure what to do , do
    I be true to myself and move on or do I stay even though I know how she feels about my gay side ?? Advice will
    be helpful and thanks in advance.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jun 29, 2008 3:33 AM GMT
    Hey there Robby, welcome to RJ. I hope you like the site and make some good friends!

    Sorry to hear about your dilemna. I think the "cat is out of the bag" so to speak with your finance. Let me say to start.... you did the right thing in telling her, both for you and for her. Congrats, you've already had the guts to do what many in this country don't.. and it ends up affecting more people than just you. What you did was very unselfish.

    I certainly would give her a little time to digest what you've told her, give her a little space and talk if she wants to. Its her move, let her make it.

    If she accepts you, you will need to decide what is best both for her and you. Its up to you. My initial reaction is to encourage you NOT to marry your fiance until you have worked through your feelings and understand your gay side. Only you can really do that.
    Best wishes in all of that.

    Again, welcome. I hope you like the site and feel at home!
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19119

    Jun 29, 2008 3:36 AM GMT
    The truth shall set you free. Nothing worse than than the prospect of having to live your life being someone you are not.
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    Jun 29, 2008 3:39 AM GMT
    Move on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 29, 2008 3:50 AM GMT
    Move on.
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    Jun 29, 2008 4:03 AM GMT
    Thanks guys I know what I must do and know she has the right to be angry but I hid it because I know how people
    feel about those things and with her religious background I knew how she would feel but could not hide anymore. I know I should move on but it is hard after what we have been through, time will tell and thanks for the feedback
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    Jun 29, 2008 4:15 AM GMT
    I can understand how hurt she must be. You were honest with her and that is by far the best way you could have handled this. Move on buddy, it's the best path for the both of you.
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    Jun 29, 2008 9:48 AM GMT
    Nicaragua is strongly Catholic, pretty much like our own country. Her reaction isn't surprising at all. icon_confused.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jun 29, 2008 11:55 AM GMT
    You sound surprised about her reaction
    Did you really expect something else?

    It's good that you came out and told her the truth but your expecting to continue on with a relationship with her isn't very realistic
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    Jun 29, 2008 12:52 PM GMT
    LEAVE!!! before you she hits you over the head with a frying pan.

    .....................................angry face woman

    ...........................................Don't make woman angry

    ...........................................vsign
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    Jun 29, 2008 2:21 PM GMT
    Well duh. Of course she is going to be hurt and pissed. It would be like me having a partner who I planned on marrying saying "oh, by the way honey, I think I actually like pussy more than cock."

    You essentially told here that she can't satisfy all your needs and desires. You derailed the future she had seen laid out for the two of you. Just move on. She might want you back in her life someday, but you aren't entitled to it.
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    Jun 29, 2008 3:15 PM GMT
    RBY71 saidWell duh. Of course she is going to be hurt and pissed.


    I agree with this. What else did you expect? Understanding?

    She thought she was about to embark on a monogamous life with a person she loved and loved her back exclusively. So you rear back and tell her that that's not the case.

    People are telling you to move on. That's good advice. But the person that really should move on is she.
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    Jun 29, 2008 3:30 PM GMT
    Thanks for the advice and feedback again guys, even the feedback that hurts to hear; to be honest I have struggled with my sexuality for a long time and when we met I thought this was what I wanted, I planned to be with her and now I accept myself and that is why I did not tell her to start with, people change I guess