Is he gay?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 29, 2008 5:45 AM GMT
    Okay, I have a friend that I apreciate a lot, I love him but im not sure if I should tell him, because i dunno if he's gay. We are both 15.
    I always ask him, and he always says that he is gay and if he loves me, but joking. I also tell him that I love him, but he thinks that im just messing around.
    He has had some relationships with girls, but they never last for longer than a month, and he does not even feel bad about it.
    What I want to do is to tell him that I am gay, but im afraid of him being homophobic and reject me, also I don't want him to spread the word.
    He acts like a "whore" when messing around, he hugs me and other guys and kiss them in the cheek, and starts to say that he's gay and some times shows his butt. Maybe that's because i am in an all-men school.
    What made me think that I like him, is that everytime we start to talk about gay stuff he always says that i'm cute and such, Also he always starts to do the same things I do, like going to the same places, playing the same games etc.
    I can hardly go to his house because he lives so far away from my place, and my dads dun want to take me there icon_sad.gif
    However, one day I went to his house with another friend to do some school proyect, and when we finished we went to play some videogames. Then my other friend left to the shop to buy some soda and chips and while he was out I noticed that he looked at my face while I was playing, and later when we sit in the floor, he recharged his head in my foot.

    Also I dunno if this can tell anything, but sometimes he uses deodorant for girls xD
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 29, 2008 6:03 AM GMT
    You're 15... this website is for those who are 18 or older and people are really serious about it.

    P.S. The part with the "deodorant for girls" was really funny though.icon_biggrin.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 29, 2008 11:47 AM GMT
    See how easy it is for minors to set up a profile? They should have a site for kids though. A youth oriented RealJock.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Jun 29, 2008 12:55 PM GMT
    Would you guys stop complaining and answer the question icon_confused.gif

    Linde, I think there is a very good chance that your friend is gay. You should try and start a conversation with him about gays and see how he reacts. I mean a serious conversation, so you know he is not messing.

    Unfortunately, as you are under age you will probably be deleted in a short while. I'm sure there are gay websites for young guys, so you should search the web for one.

    Hope everything works out for you icon_smile.gif

    Mike
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 29, 2008 2:11 PM GMT
    Your a nice guy MikePhil, but I am constantly disagreeing with you. icon_biggrin.gif Violating the terms of use is pretty serious and no doubt Linde's profile will be deleted soon.

    But Linde, not everyone has the maturity to recognize their own sexuality. Now, your friend could be gay and he doesn't know it. He could just believe he is joking around when he says these things but truly mean them. He might just be testing the water through jokes to see how it feels to come out.

    On the other hand, queers are a very easy group of people to make fun of at that age. It is safe to make fun of them because not many of them are out and our larger popular culture does the same thing. This could just be your friends sense of humor. He could actually not be gay and just in a rut with his comedy act.

    Be his friend, but wait for him to grow up a little before actually, genuinely coming out of the closet to him.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Jun 29, 2008 4:04 PM GMT
    Thanks MunchingZombie, you are a nice guy too icon_biggrin.gif

    I agree with you, Linde is violating the terms of use and should not be here. I not saying, it is OK for him to be here. I just thought that the first two posters should have tried to help by giving some advice.

    He asked an honest question, and we are a community, and we are all gay, and we all know how hard it can be to be gay, so although Linde is violating the terms of use, and I personally think he should be removed from the site, I also think we should give him a break, and give him our opinion to the situation he finds himself in. That is why I have not reported him (at least not yet). Some how I don't think any of you guys have reported him either, as his post is up for almost 10 hours.

    I just think we should try and help him out before he goes.

    BTW, you gave him some good advice, so I think you feel the same way as I do on this.

    Mike
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 29, 2008 4:08 PM GMT
    HA! Then we agree. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 29, 2008 4:46 PM GMT
    He can't be 15, his profile clearly states that he is 20 icon_twisted.gif
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Jun 30, 2008 2:12 AM GMT
    Chizzad saidHe can't be 15, his profile clearly states that he is 20 icon_twisted.gif


    Yeah... it's on the Internet it must be true and honest!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 30, 2008 12:43 PM GMT
    icon_neutral.gif I suffer the same problem.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 30, 2008 1:30 PM GMT
    Since you said you like video games you should check out this site www.gaygamer.net. I'm fairly sure you don't have to be 18 to be a member, there are a lot of members and even a forum.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 30, 2008 1:40 PM GMT
    How did he recharge his head in your foot? Are you guys robots? Cause this site isn't for robots. You're gonna get deleted.

    Anyway...now on to the actual question. On one hand I'm inclined to agree with some of the previous posts (I forget who they were..I only read the first sentence), that you should wait it out and see how things go before blabbing.

    On the other hand, its possible that he feels the same way and is wondering the same thing about you. Wouldn't it be great to have a friend/ally in this whole thing? You go to an all boys school..you are not the only gay guy there. (Unless its an all boys school with only like 5 boys, in which case you might be.)

    While there was a certain amount of messing around with other boys when I was a kid (and I don't think most of them turned out gay, well not openly), but never all of the kissing and "I love you" stuff. Most things that happened were situational (I FOUND MY DAD'S PORN STASH!!) as opposed to relational ("I'm gay and I love you, you're my best friend.").

    Ya, that last thing never happened.

  • ceosion

    Posts: 15

    Jun 30, 2008 1:50 PM GMT
    Here's what I can tell you from my experience:

    Telling him that you're gay will change things. Whether or not that's for the best or the worst can't really be seen as the signals aren't clear, it seems.

    I mainly wanted to post and tell you about a lot of my friends... I am an openly gay male in college right now, and nearly all of my friends are straight males. Many of them act the way your friend does. They even act that way towards me. My one friend constantly asks me if we can have sex! Sheesh! Of course, when I tell him I'd be happy to take him up on his offer, he laughs and runs for another beer... lol. I'm confident in the fact that the vast majority of them are indeed straight, they just truely don't care about sexual orientation, which is one reason why they're my friends and I love them all. It is a slow push into a world that cares less about sexual orientation... similar to the (still progressing) move towards a world that doesn't care about skin color. You tend to always have those who resist, but over time things settle down more and more.

    Any way, I didn't mean to get all political/sociological at the end there, my point to you is, if you decide to tell him, try to have calm and reasonable expectations. He could tell you that he is straight, and just doesn't really think twice about his "gay flirtations." (Like most of my friends now.) Like others have said, too, he may not be at a point in his life where he is ready to know himself enough to accept being gay. But you should be ready to accept the fact that it might scare him a bit to know that you're gay. I doubt he would be hostile towards it from what you've said, but he could feel like you're no longer "fair game" to joke around with. (Since now it tells him that his flirtations could mean something to you, and from what you've told us, they obviously do mean something to you.)

    But yea, so there is always the good and bad side to look at... but if it were me, I'd lean more towards telling him. Good luck with what you decide to do!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 30, 2008 3:11 PM GMT
    tommysguns2000 saidHow did he recharge his head in your foot? Are you guys robots? Cause this site isn't for robots.


    I had to think about this myself. I think he actually took the trouble to run a spell (though not grammar) check and just got the wrong, properly spelled word. "Recline" would fit just fine.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Jun 30, 2008 6:19 PM GMT
    OK, who reported him icon_question.gif

    Bullies icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 30, 2008 9:07 PM GMT
    Someone got pwned!