Wedding Registry Charity Only .. Proper Etiquette

  • kolkii

    Posts: 147

    Feb 08, 2012 7:52 PM GMT
    Going to a gay wedding next wkend totally forgot about gifts, etc, only to find Registry is for the couple's favorite Charities only, no stores...

    Wedding is followed by huge reception... I plan to give to one of the charities, but do I also normally give a another gift directly to the couple (ie envelope with check (I usually cover cost of meals which is bout $300 range in NY) or personal gift)) or is it really just charitable contribution? Thanks
  • commoncoll

    Posts: 1222

    Feb 08, 2012 8:30 PM GMT
    If they are close friends to you, you can give them an extra personal gift or the money.

    But since they asked for charity contribution, you would be OK just doing the charity donation.
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    Feb 08, 2012 8:33 PM GMT
    my sister's wedding was charity only donations. they meant it; they sent back any gifts they received. it's their wedding, do as they request.
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    Feb 08, 2012 11:22 PM GMT
    I once brought a giant Murano vase to a reception where I was not aware all the guests were asked to bring something in an envelope. I'm like uh...where's the gift table? *plops down giant purple amorphous glass thing next to a cage full of envelopes* icon_redface.gif

    People were then like oh...did you make that? It was really awkward.
  • commoncoll

    Posts: 1222

    Feb 09, 2012 1:19 AM GMT
    Is there no Mr. Manners here? I would like to know this as well. Suddenly, many of my friends are getting married in droves.
  • musicdude

    Posts: 734

    Feb 09, 2012 1:24 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidI once brought a giant Murano vase to a reception where I was not aware all the guests were asked to bring something in an envelope. I'm like uh...where's the gift table? *plops down giant purple amorphous glass thing next to a cage full of envelopes* icon_redface.gif

    People were then like oh...did you make that? It was really awkward.



    i'm inviting you to my wedding if you buy me a murano vase ;)
  • HPgeek934

    Posts: 970

    Feb 09, 2012 1:25 AM GMT
    if you are close to them, I would do a donation and get them something personal and special, NOT an envelope. The gift shows you tried
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    Feb 09, 2012 1:26 AM GMT
    musicdude said

    i'm inviting you to my wedding if you buy me a murano vase ;)


    I'll just be bitter I'm not the one getting married and break it out of drunken rage D:
  • musicdude

    Posts: 734

    Feb 09, 2012 1:29 AM GMT
    Ariodante said
    musicdude said

    i'm inviting you to my wedding if you buy me a murano vase ;)


    I'll just be bitter I'm not the one getting married and break it out of drunken rage D:



    only if you come back late at night to help me glue it back together next to the fire place with a glass of merlot ;)
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    Feb 09, 2012 1:31 AM GMT
    musicdude said

    only if you come back late at night to help me glue it back together next to the fire place with a glass of merlot ;)


    can I make out with your new husband a little while we glue the bits back?
  • musicdude

    Posts: 734

    Feb 09, 2012 1:32 AM GMT
    no problem...i'll be too busy pounding your ass anyways icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2012 1:34 AM GMT
    musicdude saidno problem...i'll be too busy pounding your ass anyways icon_cool.gif


    Now that's a wedding reception that delivers! icon_biggrin.gif
  • musicdude

    Posts: 734

    Feb 09, 2012 1:35 AM GMT
    Ariodante said
    musicdude saidno problem...i'll be too busy pounding your ass anyways icon_cool.gif


    Now that's a wedding reception that delivers! icon_biggrin.gif



    She knows! ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2012 2:53 AM GMT
    It's a gift. It's totally up to you to give what you want.

    However, if your friends have made it clear that what they most want in the world is charitable contributions--and it sounds like they have the means to treat themselves very well--ask yourself why you want so strongly to do something else. Who are you trying to satisfy.

    One charity which allows you to make a donation which can later be withdrawn is www.kiva.org Money deposited with kiva.org is used to fund microloans to entrepreneurs around the world: you can chose whom to fund. As the loan is repaid the money flows back into your account so it can be re-lent or withdrawn. (The interest paid by the borrowers goes to the local community banks who supervise the lending.)
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Feb 09, 2012 3:00 AM GMT
    Ms. Manners would say that a registry is a guideline and that you should do whatever you feel is right. A gift should never be expected or demanded.