Tick-tock goes the clock

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    Feb 09, 2012 5:38 PM GMT
    I know I don't really have a biological clock, but I have a psychological one. I can't wait to have enough money saved up to adopt my first kid. This here is my best friends' daughter. We have the best conversations. They usually go something like this:

    — BAH!
    — Really Milla?
    — Gah. hahah.
    — Yes, that's funny.
    — Appah.
    — You're kidding!
    — Nah.
    — Well, if you say so.
    — Bah.

    430778_2928658708236_1614005006_2514133_
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    Feb 09, 2012 6:24 PM GMT
    19c79 saidI know I don't really have a biological clock, but I have a psychological one. I can't wait to have enough money saved up to adopt my first kid. This here is my best friends' daughter. We have the best conversations. They usually go something like this:

    — BAH!
    — Really Milla?
    — Gah. hahah.
    — Yes, that's funny.
    — Appah.
    — You're kidding!
    — Nah.
    — Well, if you say so.
    — Bah.



    Actually, yes, you do have a biological clock. Because before you know it the conversation's gonna go like this

    — BAH!
    — Really Constantino?
    — Gah. hahah.
    — Yes, that's funny.
    — Appah.
    — You're kidding!
    — Nah.
    — Well, if you say so.
    — Bah.
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    Feb 09, 2012 6:26 PM GMT
    theantijock saidActually, yes, you do have a biological clock. Because before you know it the conversation's gonna go like this

    — BAH!
    — Really Constantino?
    — Gah. hahah.
    — Yes, that's funny.
    — Appah.
    — You're kidding!
    — Nah.
    — Well, if you say so.
    — Bah.

    Laughing.Out.Loud. hahaha... You're so right!
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    Feb 09, 2012 6:32 PM GMT
    Don't get kids! It's all just an illusion that they are what everyone wants! Don't believe the hype! You never find out until it's too late how much of a breakdown-inducing downer kids are! And it's very difficult to get rid of them once you have them. VERY difficult. icon_eek.gif
  • kuroshiro

    Posts: 786

    Feb 09, 2012 6:39 PM GMT
    SkinnyBitch saidDon't get kids!


    I wasn't aware you can just "get" them. icon_razz.gif

    *wanders down to the local 7-11*

    Clerk: Can I help you find something sir?
    Me: Yes, I'll take one2 year old baby please.
    Clerk: Okay, total comes to $14.95. Would you like a bag for that?
    Me: No, I'll call it. It's okay.

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    Feb 09, 2012 6:43 PM GMT
    SkinnyBitch saidDon't get kids! It's all just an illusion that they are what everyone wants! Don't believe the hype! You never find out until it's too late how much of a breakdown-inducing downer kids are! And it's very difficult to get rid of them once you have them. VERY difficult. icon_eek.gif

    Anyone who "gets kids" because it's some kind of trend is bound to be an awful parent. I don't want to "get kids" (how demeaning to speak of human beings as a material good one "gets"). I want to be a father. I've wanted to for much of my adult life.

    At least 30% of what I read in a monthly basis is related to parenting and education. And I don't believe in just book learning either. I spend a lot of time around children. My niece and nephews are all teenagers now (the oldest one is 18, the youngest 13), and my close friends' children range in age from newborns to 10.

    I have no illusions, and do not see parenthood through rose-colored glasses. I know its challenges, and am also fully aware that no matter how prepared I think I am, I will still have to do much learning "on the job." Still, it is the driving goal in my life at this point. My financial planning for the next five years is centered 100% around saving for adoption. I take fatherhood very seriously.
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    Feb 09, 2012 6:44 PM GMT
    kuroshiro said
    SkinnyBitch saidDon't get kids!
    I wasn't aware you can just "get" them. icon_razz.gif

    *wanders down to the local 7-11*

    Clerk: Can I help you find something sir?
    Me: Yes, I'll take one2 year old baby please.
    Clerk: Okay, total comes to $14.95. Would you like a bag for that?
    Me: No, I'll call it. It's okay.

    Hah! Love it.
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    Feb 09, 2012 6:54 PM GMT
    ur cute as fuck ok

    *faps in corner*
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    Feb 09, 2012 7:13 PM GMT
    kuroshiro said
    Clerk: Okay, total comes to $14.95. Would you like a bag for that?




    Me: Only if it's a plastic, air-tight bag!!


    Children are like kittens---very cute until they are about a year old and then they should be drowned.

    I'm joking!!
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    Feb 09, 2012 7:49 PM GMT
    19c79 said
    SkinnyBitch saidDon't get kids! It's all just an illusion that they are what everyone wants! Don't believe the hype! You never find out until it's too late how much of a breakdown-inducing downer kids are! And it's very difficult to get rid of them once you have them. VERY difficult. icon_eek.gif

    Anyone who "gets kids" because it's some kind of trend is bound to be an awful parent. I don't want to "get kids" (how demeaning to speak of human beings as a material good one "gets"). I want to be a father. I've wanted to for much of my adult life.

    At least 30% of what I read in a monthly basis is related to parenting and education. And I don't believe in just book learning either. I spend a lot of time around children. My niece and nephews are all teenagers now (the oldest one is 18, the youngest 13), and my close friends' children range in age from newborns to 10.

    I have no illusions, and do not see parenthood through rose-colored glasses. I know its challenges, and am also fully aware that no matter how prepared I think I am, I will still have to do much learning "on the job." Still, it is the driving goal in my life at this point. My financial planning for the next five years is centered 100% around saving for adoption. I take fatherhood very seriously.

    I+am+impressed+_fa538d93693e9302855da100

    It's not a trend to have kids, but it's what we are told to do since we are born. It's expected of us. A lot of people have kids for horrible reasons, others for reasons that aren't going to make them happy. I am glad you're not one of them, but have a laugh now, THE LAUGHER DIES WHEN THE KIDS COME.

    So "get" is not your preferred verb huh? How about "spawn"?
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    Feb 09, 2012 9:44 PM GMT
    SkinnyBitch saidSo "get" is not your preferred verb huh? How about "spawn"?

    I wish I could just spawn them. It would be so much cheaper. icon_neutral.gif
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    Feb 10, 2012 9:47 AM GMT
    I think you'd make a great father.
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    Feb 10, 2012 2:02 PM GMT
    wrestlervic saidI think you'd make a great father.

    Aw, thank you! I'll try to always do my best.
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    Feb 10, 2012 2:04 PM GMT
    Come have my babies, Tino icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 10, 2012 2:11 PM GMT
    Larkin saidCome have my babies, Tino icon_biggrin.gif

    I'd love to try to get you pregnant! icon_twisted.gif
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    Feb 10, 2012 2:13 PM GMT
    That's crazy adorable.
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    Feb 10, 2012 2:21 PM GMT
    Guy101 saidThat's crazy adorable.

    icon_biggrin.gif Thanks. I love her.
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    Feb 10, 2012 2:36 PM GMT
    I freaking love kids. My straight couple friends love that I love kids. I watch their kids a lot so they can go out and have their "me" time. It's a win/win for everyone because it reminds of home and I'm inducted into families with perks and they get time off from their kids and can enjoy themselves.

    Who doesn't like kids?
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    Feb 10, 2012 2:46 PM GMT
    I'm very good goods with kids and adults a like think I'm pretty swell with them....

    I don't think I'll have one though..
  • nicelyproport...

    Posts: 573

    Feb 10, 2012 6:12 PM GMT
    Be careful what you wish for:

    “Stumbling on Happiness” by Daniel Gilbert provides an accessible overview of Dr. Gilbert’s work at Harvard in the field of psychology. It is written in a style similar to that of Malcolm Gladwell or Steven Levitt, taking interesting concepts and playfully exploring the consequences and justifications of them.

    Gilbert’s central idea in the book is that we don’t really know what makes us happy and are remarkably bad at remembering what made us happy in the past or predicting what will make us happy in the future.

    One amusing example he gives is on the “joys of parenthood”. He explains that people looking forward to having children envision playing with toddlers, being proud at their graduation ceremony and feeding candy to beautiful grandchildren. People with children look back and remember the good times and do their best to forget the bad. When housewives are interviewed about the activities in their daily routines, taking care of the children is one of their least favorite, right at the bottom, only slightly above doing housework. When the happiness of parents is charted over the course of a marriage, marital satisfaction decreases dramatically with the first child’s birth and doesn’t increase until the last child leaves home.

    He explains that people still have children because it’s a belief system that propagates itself. A culture that believes it’s a joy to have children will exist longer than one that feels children are a burden (he gives the example of one religious group that was completely opposed to sex and now only a few elderly members remain).
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    Feb 10, 2012 6:14 PM GMT
    cute
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    Feb 10, 2012 7:40 PM GMT
    nicelyproportioned saidBe careful what you wish for

    I've read Gilbert, Seligman, et. al. There was also a great article about this in NY Mag a year or so ago. Anyone who thinks children are a quick way to happiness is delusional, and primed for a big disappointment. Babies and toddlers, especially, are no fun. I helped my divorced sister raise her son from when he was 8 months old till he was 5. He is 15 now and I am still the closest thing he has to a father figure (my sister's ex husband is an asshole). As I said above, I do not see fatherhood through pink-colored glasses.

    Being a parent is not about fun or happiness. For someone like me, who not only doesn't have to be a father, but is going through a great deal of trouble just to become one, fatherhood is about bringing more meaning into one's life, though I hasten to add, of course, that it is not for everyone--different people find meaning through different channels.

    I'm giving up a great deal of "fun" already to save for adoption or surrogacy. But at 32, having left a country under duress and received political asylum in another, having made a life in this other country, and having walked thousands of miles alone with my thoughts (with thousands more to go before I reach LA), I've come to know myself quite well. And I know at 90 I won't regret the nights out I gave up, or the movies I had to wait till they hit Netflix to watch. I would regret, however, not raising a child, not seeing him or her grow up to be the man or woman he or she chooses to be.
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    Feb 10, 2012 8:39 PM GMT
    kuroshiro said
    SkinnyBitch saidDon't get kids!


    I wasn't aware you can just "get" them. icon_razz.gif

    *wanders down to the local 7-11*

    Clerk: Can I help you find something sir?
    Me: Yes, I'll take one2 year old baby please.
    Clerk: Okay, total comes to $14.95. Would you like a bag for that?
    Me: No, I'll call it. It's okay.



    Everybody knows it's $847.63. D'Oh!
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    Feb 10, 2012 8:57 PM GMT
    I know some of this is all in good fun, but in all seriousness -

    If you do decide to adopt, please be aware of the downsides and minefields. Adoption is a triad - birth parent, adoptive parent, and adopted child. The adoption agencies act like they are also part of the equation, but they are irrelevant in the end. The adopted child is the one that usually gets left out.

    The child's birth parents will always be his or her birth parents, flaws and all. Don't minimize that. Your job is to take selflessly take care of a child whose birth parents can't or won't, for whatever reason - not to "get" a child because you have a need to parent.

    Please adopt locally and openly (no closed adoptions - ever).

    Signed - an adopted kid
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    Feb 10, 2012 9:06 PM GMT
    Some people have no aspirations to be a father, and that's fine.

    I know where you're coming from 19c79 I want kids one day too.