Good parenting or bad parenting at its best?

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    Feb 11, 2012 6:35 AM GMT


    I find this video to be pretty ridiculous, and am astounded/terrified by the fact that there are over a hundred thousand of people out there who condone this type of behaviour from a parent. The guy in the video says on the description that he hopes to teach not just his own daughter but other kids a lesson via the post, but I think he is conveying a terrible message here.

    What he's done, in my perspective, is he exacted revenge on something that his daughter did, who by the way is only 15 years old. Do I approve of what his daughter wrote on her facebook wall? No; in fact, I think she does need to be told that what she did was inappropriate, selfish and unnecessarily spiteful, that there are many other ways she could have expressed her frustration without hurting someone's feelings. But do I think what the father is doing/about to do will teach her that lesson? Definitely not! By posting a video that is going to be equally humiliating to her as what she wrote on her facebook was to him, he's showing that when someone of a different background or generation does something offensive, it is righteous for her to punish that person by causing him the same amount - if not more - of damage. By publicly disgracing his own daughter and grounding her without any solid reasons or appropriate explanation for the stated reasons, he is neglecting his responsibility as a parent to redirect his child when she is heading in the wrong path.

    It still shocks me that so many people are supportive of his reaction to what his daughter did, which I personally found to be very immature and more damaging than beneficial. What do you guys think about what he did? Is there something that I missed/misunderstood that other people caught and thus is the reason why he is gaining a lot of respect and support from these people?
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    Feb 11, 2012 8:12 AM GMT
    When I heard about the video I was expecting her to be cuttin' bitches with her tongue, but I was just like "Really? That's all she's got?"
    I never had to do any of the shit she describes in her chores etc. so I think everyone is at fault here. When you think about it, she says she can't do schoolwork because she's tired from doing all this other shit, when really she should be putting her homework first and stupid chores that anybody can do second.
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    Feb 11, 2012 9:12 AM GMT
    I'm not a parent and I'll never be ( a looong time ago I decided I would never have children) so I've no real input on modes of parenting. The guy's daughter seems like a typical shitbag teen and I've heard of other teens doing much worse than that post.

    That being said I don't care about this one shitbag teen and I thought it was funny her laptop got shot. LOL.

    THAT being said mindless destruction of a laptop the guy could have donated to an underprivileged student program or something seems rather inconsiderate and wasteful.
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    Feb 11, 2012 9:36 AM GMT
    hes breathing heavily and hes really pissed off and disappointed , oww poor dad =( i know teens are horrible and i like the comment above me

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    Feb 11, 2012 2:21 PM GMT
    No wonder his daughter acts like she does. She's got a fuckwad for a father.
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    Feb 11, 2012 2:25 PM GMT
    I saw this yesterday.

    I think this was interesting. I can see his point, but I don't think he should have shot the laptop up. There are a lot of students who cannot afford computers. Donating it would have been a better idea to me.
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    Feb 11, 2012 2:50 PM GMT
    Would have been cooler if peppered it with a 12g instead.
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    Feb 11, 2012 3:11 PM GMT
    I've learned from early on not to judge others parenting styles. All my friends thought my Mom was the devil the way she treated my sisters and I. So she wouldn't let us do stuff because we had chores and if we did something wrong she would bring out the "spatula" ,man did that thing hurt when it slapped your hand. I am very thankful of my parents upbringing of me. This Dad went a little extreme by posting in online and actually blowing up a laptop but discipline is surely lacking nowadays.
  • kuroshiro

    Posts: 786

    Feb 11, 2012 4:06 PM GMT
    Well, I just have to say kudos to the dad for thinking of a creative way to discipline his chile, but the laptop shooting was a bit much.

    My mother was highly controlling of me as a child. She wouldn't let me hang out with my friends, I had controlled computer time as well as video game time. She would have rather have me outside than lolly gagging around indoors all day.

    My mother gave a similar speech to me once, and it was an event that sorta set me on the path. If anything the father should have just taken the laptop away from her and locked it up somewhere. The current generation of teenagers is a group of idiots that cannot live without some piece of technology in their hands for 5 seconds. It's pathetic.

    The chances of someone nearby finding this is slim to none, really. And if anything it'll just blow over. Either way, it should serve as a good wakeup call for her and I hope she learns from it.
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Feb 11, 2012 4:32 PM GMT
    I thought it was a befitting punishment (sans the laptop shooting, I'd of just traded it into a computer store or donated it to another person who was in greater need of it). A lot of children (and teens) forget that they are living in their parent's home. That they are their parents' property and responsibility until they have "come of age".
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    Feb 11, 2012 4:38 PM GMT
    Great big WTF? It's the equivalent of him eavesdropping on her talking to her girlfriends, bitchin' about her parents (as most teenage girls do) and then grounding her for that. And shooting up her laptop (or his laptop since he probably bought it for her). She was blowing off steam and not even directing it at him. How has this man had at least two wives without actually talking to a woman?!

    Finally: who's been raising the little bitch for the last 15 years?
  • ac416

    Posts: 273

    Feb 11, 2012 4:47 PM GMT
    Posting a response on her facebook wall would have been embarrassing to her and enough punishment. Shooting the laptop is just insane and dramatic so no wonder she turned out that way. The shitty thing is that this dad is getting a lot of praise on YouTube comments so he,ll think he did the right thing.
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    Feb 11, 2012 7:31 PM GMT
    It's just so much easier when you grow up poor. When your parents tell you things like "we can't buy you shoes right now, dad's business went completely bankrupt, we're losing the house and we're pawning mom's jewelry just to afford food" you get the shitty brat kicked out of you pretty fast.
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    Feb 11, 2012 7:36 PM GMT
    Thanks for the replies you guys, all very appreciated.

    I can't agree more on the idea that many teenagers these days don't really know their rightful place and are disrespectful to their parents beyond reason. But, at the same time, a father clearly going out of his way to humiliate his daughter, only because she made a stab at him on a social networking website that is way more exclusve than youtube, is just purely vengeful and irrational. As a parent, rather than "stoning" her daughter for her wrong behaviour along with the public, he should have approached her and asked her why she did such a hurtful thing and what else she could have done to resolve disagreements between them.

    I admire what parents have to sacrifice for their kids, and I think it is fair to assume that most parents try hard to raise their children properly. At the same time, when you decide to have a children, it should be taken just as seriously as, say, signing a job contract with all the conditions you need to follow. While parents are humans too, and it is understandable if they accidentally raise their voice at their children here and there, what this guy did was just wayy out of line. She's going to be stared down and insulted by the grownups around her, and she is going to be laughed at in her school. Does she, as a teenager who doesn't really know much and is more emotionally vulnerable, really deserve that kind of punishment? I don't think so at all.
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    Feb 11, 2012 7:47 PM GMT
    He was 100% dead on correct, but the gun part not so much. Where I'm from you would get arrested for discharging a firearm that close to residence, but I suspect in ruralmiddleofnowhere that he lives not so much.'

    I just hope that laptop is as far as his anger carries him.
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    Feb 11, 2012 7:50 PM GMT
    sdgman saidHe was 100% dead on correct, but the gun part not so much. Where I'm from you would get arrested for discharging a firearm that close to residence, but I suspect in ruralmiddleofnowhere that he lives not so much.'

    I just hope that laptop is as far as his anger carries him.


    lol he is 100% retarded. When he was our age, the world was much different from it is now. College was much cheaper, jobs were much more plentiful, and this guy clearly has maturity issues if he is having power struggles with a 15 year old kid. He condemns her for being childish and stupid by doing something childish and stupid? Seriously buddy?

    Instead of being smart and SELLING the laptop you shoot it? Come the fuck on dude. Not to mention that he said the laptop was gotten for SCHOOL! AND SO YOU DESTROY IT? Thats like saying "Hey bitch, you are a bitch, so Im gonna burn your books, tootles!"
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    Feb 11, 2012 7:54 PM GMT
    What happened to having friends and complaining about your parents to them every day at school? icon_rolleyes.gif
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Feb 11, 2012 8:00 PM GMT
    He should have shot the kid.

    If you dont like it then dont raise your kids the way he does.

    This is far less than ANYTHING my mother ever did to my brother and I growing up. If I had written something like that I would have had my ass handed to me on a silver platter.
  • Sk8Tex

    Posts: 738

    Feb 11, 2012 8:06 PM GMT
    Does the saying "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree" ever NOT apply?

    They're both stupid.
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    Feb 11, 2012 8:07 PM GMT
    Sk8Tex saidDoes the saying "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree" ever NOT apply?

    They're both stupid.
    Just wait until she shoots him! icon_wink.gif
  • Sk8Tex

    Posts: 738

    Feb 11, 2012 8:08 PM GMT
    JP85257 saidThis is far less than ANYTHING my mother ever did to my brother and I growing up. If I had written something like that I would have had my ass handed to me on a silver platter.


    +1 icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

    Recalling a certain scene where my sister once told my mom to STFU and she drug her by her hair into the bathroom and stuck a bar of soap in her mouth.

    Never happened again.
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Feb 11, 2012 8:17 PM GMT
    Sk8Tex said
    JP85257 saidThis is far less than ANYTHING my mother ever did to my brother and I growing up. If I had written something like that I would have had my ass handed to me on a silver platter.


    +1 icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

    Recalling a certain scene where my sister once told my mom to STFU and she drug her by her hair into the bathroom and stuck a bar of soap in her mouth.

    Never happened again.

    I would have been beaten like a Hebrew Slave and then I would have had to clean up the mess.
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    Feb 11, 2012 8:21 PM GMT
    JP85257 saidHe should have shot the kid.

    If you dont like it then dont raise your kids the way he does.

    This is far less than ANYTHING my mother ever did to my brother and I growing up. If I had written something like that I would have had my ass handed to me on a silver platter.


    The traditional approach of imposing threat and intimidation to teach someone a lesson has long been proven to be more ineffective and damaging than other methods that encourage development and understanding.

    Try raising and training a dog by kicking him everytime he doesn't do it right, and you'll get your foot torn off unless if you beat your dog to death first. Do you think all humans are so morally correct and selfless from the start to not become a messed up person when they are raised in a similar manner? icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 11, 2012 8:21 PM GMT
    This seems to cover it rather nicely ...

    Narcissistic Personality Disorder - http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001930/
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    Feb 11, 2012 8:48 PM GMT
    I think he did a great job. He didn't necessarily need to shoot the laptop, but destroying it or giving it away makes it less likely that he'll change his mind later and give it back to her (now he'd have to buy another one). IF he gave in and gave it back to her, had he not destroyed it, it would actually reinforce the bad behavior.

    "Teaching a lesson" is not how you modify behavior. A good parent makes bad behavior aversive while rewarding good behavior, making sure to explain the reasons as to why some behaviors are desired and others are not. I think in this case he did a good job of both explaining why she is being punished, and obviously making the outcome of her behavior quite aversive. Being 15 is not an excuse to be allowed to act like that toward the people who basically make it possible for you to not freeze to death in winter and be able to eat food at regular intervals without much effort on your part. Sure, maybe she's not mature enough to understand, but she won't ever become mature enough if she's always given a pass. Having seen how my siblings behave toward my mom, who was never able to be this harsh when she needed to to curb their bad, disrespectful and spoiled behavior, who are now in their late 20s and early 30s btw and continue to do that, I can attest to that.

    I think it is extremely important to teach children through behavioral consequences to respect and appreciate things that they essentially get for free as a result of the work of their caretakers, instead of letting them take those things for granted as they are often inclined to do.