Not happy with my sexuality!

  • ozhanSean

    Posts: 186

    Feb 11, 2012 3:48 PM GMT
    I have a dilemma. I have always referred to myself as gay bottom man. I love men, I love being vulnerable and intimate with another man. But recently I have had new thoughts, I also do get attracted to women. I have had sex with women and I must say I like men better. So I figured that I am probably bisexually, which is even better...right? WRONG. Being gay BOTTOM and topping women are very different sentiments, just different moods. Its as if my body takes turns. For a little while I will feel attracted to women, and be on the macho side, but most of the time I feel a lot less masculine inside and not only cant sleep with women, but I crave men sooooo badly. This is so hard for me, I sleep with one person and never know how I am going to feel about it later. Cant make commitments...That is so difficult.

    I am currently missing on a beautiful woman who really likes me and knows that I am Bi. We are THE PERFECT MATCH, she knows it and I know it. It is amazing how alike we think and how much in common we have... in every way. We have talked this through, she started it by saying that "I would love to have your kids!" But I cannot make that commitment because of how out of balance I am. So she is now dating potential marriage material men, that is her goal, to be married to a man who can father her kids and have a traditional marriage.

    She still comes and spends the night at my place even though we are not having sex, since she is currently dating. It breaks my hear to see how these guys are constantly turning out to not be Mr. right and I cant help it because of my biology! She is here every time she is heart broken, and I cant help enjoying waking up next to her, and hoping she will stay the day for me to come home to. icon_sad.gif I think I have just biologically missed on my future partner. icon_cry.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 11, 2012 4:04 PM GMT
    OzhanSean, the bisexuals I know would likely tell you that you're not in love with her, but that you find her sexually attractive and like her very much.


    warmly,

    -Doug
  • letsworkit

    Posts: 3

    Feb 11, 2012 5:44 PM GMT
    Dude I know what you mean I was married before, but I knew I was gay all along ,I didn't like what I was doing to her behide her back. it wasn't right, I was living a double life and it sucked. I dig on being with women, but I liked it more being with a guy. so you should do what you really makes you happy. I did and since I came out I feel much better at first I thought man what will people think when they find out I am gay.well you find out who yours friend really are. I lost some and gain some .I had to do what I had to do to be happy.so be happy life is to short.icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_lol.gif
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Feb 11, 2012 5:49 PM GMT
    The great thing about being with guys is that you can top or bottom so you get the best of both worlds. I don't connect with women on a sexual, romantic or emotional level so I can't relate to what you're going through, but I've tried being in relationships with guys who treated me great and I connected with on an emotional level, but who I was not physically attracted to. Trust me, if there's no physical spark it won't work.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 11, 2012 5:55 PM GMT
    If you were a perfect match she would be a man.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Feb 11, 2012 5:59 PM GMT
    dude, you sound like you bi. there is nothing wrong with that. hell i say enjoy as long as you are not cheating than get fucked and fuck all you want
  • camfer

    Posts: 892

    Feb 11, 2012 6:10 PM GMT
    Your relationships don't have to look like anyone else's. You can make commitments to be open and honest, to honor your word to another person. Maybe monogamy isn't for you, maybe it is. It's okay to still be figuring things out around your sexuality. When you date people, just let them know.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 11, 2012 6:15 PM GMT
    Ive never heard of a straight bottom man. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 11, 2012 6:21 PM GMT
    Dallasfan824 saidIve never heard of a straight bottom man. icon_biggrin.gif


    You haven't?

    Gay porn is filled with straight guys who like to get plowed in the butt.

    Or at least this is what is says on the Internet.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 11, 2012 6:48 PM GMT
    Enjoy your relationship with your girlfriend.
    Enjoy your relationships with your men friends.

    If you and your girlfriend do fall in love with each other, and you both manage to work out an agreement which works for the both of you, then that's the way life and relationships go. Don't think you have to fit yourself and your girlfriend into some artificial mold of what relationships "should" be.

    If your girlfriend loves and accepts you just the way you are, then you are that much more blessed. Love her back as much as you feel.

    What's wrong with marrying a wonderful woman who also is cool with you having sex with men? Have you considered that she might get turned on with a MMF three-way sometime? Have you considered that she might get turned on watching you get plowed?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 11, 2012 6:57 PM GMT
    Just go with the flow. Rules are for fools or those that think there is some value following another persons standards.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11836

    Feb 11, 2012 7:15 PM GMT
    Alpha13 saidJust go with the flow. Rules are for fools or those that think there is some value following another persons standards.
    ^^^^^ this dude is very wise...listen up
  • Ritournelle

    Posts: 134

    Feb 11, 2012 7:19 PM GMT
    It's the 909, you don't have to make sense of it.
  • ozhanSean

    Posts: 186

    Feb 11, 2012 8:04 PM GMT
    It isnt that I LOVE her! It is that feeling when you say to yourself, "This is a match that can actually work out! This could be my life partner." Considering that I am yet to meet some one else that has everything I need to build a family and she feels the same about me. But she isnt willing to be in a marriage that includes more that the two of us. icon_sad.gif

    More over it is just so hard, to be this way. I have a date on Thursday, with a guy, and I am not sure if I am going to be my drown-in- another-man's-arms self or am I going to be the hormonal wreck that I am today? ha! icon_rolleyes.gif My sex drive can take a U turn on me in an instant! I used to not be this way... Donno whats going on!



  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 11, 2012 9:12 PM GMT
    This is tough. I would suggest that you do what you know will make you happier in the long run. Not only for yourself but for the woman you love. I know you would not want to do anything to hurt her so she should need to know your true feelings and what would make you happier in life
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 11, 2012 9:27 PM GMT
    OzhanSean said, "It isnt that I LOVE her! It is that feeling when you say to yourself, "This is a match that can actually work out! This could be my life partner."


    Well, the downside to this is, what would you do if you married and THEN you fell in love with a woman or man? icon_wink.gif


    intrigued,

    -Doug
  • raphael_br

    Posts: 22

    Feb 11, 2012 10:02 PM GMT
    I had a straight adolescence and have hooked up only with girls and was really attractted to pussy, although also to guys.

    But somehow after I started having gay experience I also started loosing attraction to women. I felt exactly like you in the beginning, but then I realized what I was really up to, and today am very happy with my sexuality.. bottom only and no hook ups with girls