Maybe this is why some guys living in NY/LA/SF are still in the closet
Sounds like a lot of opinionated guesswork to me, not an actual study. Which can be OK, half the posts here, including my own, are merely our opinions.
But the author does present these things are though they are proven fact, which they are not. To find the real answers, closeted guys need to be interviewed. A challenging task, since they are, by definition, not always recognizable or willing to identify themselves for such a purpose.
But I do partly agree with the quote the OP provides from the article, even though it does seem contradictory:
"For someone who’s in the closet, holding another guy’s hand and picking out furniture at Crate & Barrel is a far more intimate act than anal sex. Can they do that? Can the dude in fashion PR in NYC imagine himself doing that? No. That’s why he’s not out."
I am not in the closet, totally out, yet I do find shopping with my husband a wonderfully intimate, bonding act (at least when I'm in the mood to shop, which isn't that often). But then I just like to do all kinds of things with him, to experience, to share, to just have him with me, my sidekick & buddy.
So that when he's not with me I feel his absence rather profoundly. And I only shop without him when I'm sneaking off to buy surprises for him, almost never for myself unless our schedules demand it.
But I'm confused by: "For someone who’s in the closet, holding another guy’s hand and picking out furniture at Crate & Barrel is a far more intimate act than anal sex. Can they do that? ...No. That’s why he’s not out."
Are they shopping or not? One second he says closeted guys go shopping together, the next he says they can't. Did I misread that?
And BTW, I've dated 2 different guys who were closeted. And that's I where learned how to value just doing ordinary "guy" things together, palling around, nothing overtly gay or sexual in public, just being best buddies.
And so I enjoyed bumming around in a pick-up truck with him, or doing yard work together, or repairing his car for him, and so forth, because I was spending time WITH each of them, their mere company making me glow. Plus their being closeted meant I had them all to myself, our little shared secret they knew I would never reveal to the unauthorized, a trust they placed in me that I never betrayed. At times I felt constrained by their closeted status, but it also had a few advantages for me, too.