I have a question about top and bottom

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 11, 2012 11:44 PM GMT
    Can you change your role or are you born with "it" like other traits such as sexuality, height, eye color?
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    Feb 11, 2012 11:45 PM GMT
    I thought this thread was going to be about clothing.
  • Art2D2x

    Posts: 148

    Feb 11, 2012 11:55 PM GMT
    Try it... you'll like it.

    I've gone like this: bottom --> vers-bottom --> versatile

    Either way, trying it won't kill you. You'd get a deeper understanding of what it's like for the other. Pun sort of intended.
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    Feb 11, 2012 11:57 PM GMT
    RYkid saidCan you change your role or are you born with "it" like other traits such as sexuality, height, eye color?


    I think it would be ridiculous to say someone is born bottom or top. We are born gay, but nobody is born into a sexual position.

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    Feb 12, 2012 12:17 AM GMT
    Stan904 said
    RYkid saidCan you change your role or are you born with "it" like other traits such as sexuality, height, eye color?
    I think it would be ridiculous to say someone is born bottom or top. We are born gay, but nobody is born into a sexual position.
    This.
    Straight men won't admit it or sometimes even explore it but they would get off taking something up the ass. That doesn't make them a gay bottom.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11526

    Feb 12, 2012 12:31 AM GMT
    Stan904 said
    RYkid saidCan you change your role or are you born with "it" like other traits such as sexuality, height, eye color?


    I think it would be ridiculous to say someone is born bottom or top. We are born gay, but nobody is born into a sexual position.






    Agree!

    When i first met my last long termer we both considered ourselves "Total Tops".

    As our friendship and romance deepened, it became obvious that one of us have to give in and change our position preference.

    We both tried bttming for the other..as it turns out, .I was better at bttming than he was.

    So for the length of our sexual relationship I bttmed 98% of the time for him.
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    Feb 12, 2012 12:46 AM GMT
    There seem two questions there.

    One question would be are you born as a top or bottom. The other question being that if it could be shown to have a genetic link, can you alter your inclination?

    There was a lively debate recently here on whether or not orientation is hardwired.

    I expect up next will be are we born with any particular fetish (even if unlikely, if you imprint on one early, can that change?) or are we born aggressive or passive?

    I'm pretty sure the science isn't in yet on whether top/bottom preference has a genetic component but I wouldn't rule it out as a first thought and certainly there's room to debate if only to consider what might seem likely or what absurd.

    There's probably genetic components to other personality traits like happiness, but at least we pretty much know what happiness is. What is a top, just the person who penentrates if not aggressively so, such as with a powerbottom? Is an anal top still a top when he's giving head? Does such complex psychology dilute any genetic component were one found in the first place? It's curious. Good questioning OP.
  • araphael

    Posts: 1148

    Feb 12, 2012 6:07 AM GMT
    Top or bottom is a genetic trait thing I think. But most of us are versatile with the right guy. I've never been a bottom but that's because every guy I've ever been with wants me to top them for some nature reason and that's my natural disposition. But I'm pretty sure I could try bottom with the right guy. Just my humble opinion.
  • johndubuque

    Posts: 319

    Feb 12, 2012 6:12 AM GMT

    I can only speak from my own experience. At some times I have been more of a bottom, and at other times more of a top. For me it depends on the person I'm with and other factors that are hard to define.
    I think you should just enjoy the role you find most exciting at this point in your life. Maybe later a different role will seem more exciting, and you can explore that at that time.
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    Feb 12, 2012 7:12 AM GMT
    Personally, I never saw myself as a top. Even when I was coming to terms with my sexuality, I was starting to realize that I like to be a total bottom rather than being a top or versatile. So based on my experience, I think you can be born a sexual position
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    Feb 12, 2012 8:42 AM GMT
    I started out as versatile-bottom. That gave way after a few years to full-on versatile. Gradually that drifted... I now consider myself about 95% top, and I really get much more out of pleasuring someone else's ass rather than mine.

    I have to say, I never anticipated that it would change.

    One thought: having been very much on the other side in the past, I have a lot of empathy for the bottom. I think/hope that it makes for better sex!
  • woow

    Posts: 61

    Feb 12, 2012 8:47 AM GMT

    I don't think so. Although our characteristics are ruled in some degree with how genes are activated, we cannot compared to be gay with to "be" any sexual role
    You "like to top" or "like to bottom" it would depend on what make you feel pleasure. I don't like when people use "to be", a sexual rol shouldn't define you.Sexual pleasure comes in different forms. Some people don't even like anal sex.
    But it's just my opinion...
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    Feb 12, 2012 9:03 AM GMT
    I think some guys are born more predisposed to one side or the other... But i look at guys that i would assume were one direction and they turn out completely different, so its def not directly related to personality. I'm sure for most guys its something that develops, but there is a physical aspect of whether botomming 'works' for you... So i dont think its a brain hardwired thing, more of a genetic/developmental propensity to take a dick, as it were. Most guys develop personalities within sex, but like our personality, pre-dispositions play a role.
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    Feb 12, 2012 10:13 PM GMT
    It's genetic. Some gay guys are able to force themselves to be top or bottom intermittently, but they know deep within that it's forced.