Biggest dating fail ever

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 12, 2012 2:08 PM GMT
    After being single for about six months, I recently decided to give dating a try again.

    So I go on a date with this guy - not overly attractive, but he seemed nice, so we went for breakfast.

    Pretty soon, I knew this wasn't going anywhere because he was incredibly self-absorbed to the point of intense rudeness. Date ended. He has called and texted me a few times over about a month, and I responded infrequently and briefly hoping he'd get the hint.

    Last night he texted me asking if I wanted to come to his birthday party. I wished him a happy birthday and declined politely. I was so blown away by his response I include it in full below:

    "Thanks. I hope to see you again. My birthday's actually next week but I celebrate it the whole month."
    "You could still send me a birthday card. [includes mailing address]"
    "We will be at [local bar] all night until close. They party will be there so bring a gift if you can make it."


    Me = icon_eek.gif

    *sigh... I have to say, over the years I've gone on some dates with losers, arrogant pricks, psychos, etc. but wow... I just... wow.

    What are your dating horror stories? Come on, I want to hear 'em!
  • pecsman_5

    Posts: 35

    Feb 12, 2012 3:30 PM GMT
    Last summer, I met a guy online and got to know him a bit. He was nearby, so we decided to meet for dinner. He arrived and to my surprise, was much better looking than I expected. We got a table and I tried to initiate some conversation that failed at every attempt. Its a popular restuarant so it took an hour to get our food. During that time I was totally miserable to the point that I went to the bathroom and gave myself a pep talk just to get through the date. Finally the food arrived and it was incredible. We both had a couple of beers with our meal. When the check came he made no attempt to pay, so I paid for the meal. We left, he didn't say thank you for dinner, but he did say "We need to do this again."
    We didn't!
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Feb 12, 2012 3:36 PM GMT
    If you're inclined to get him a gift, buy him an intervention.
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    Feb 12, 2012 3:41 PM GMT
    The worst is when they start stalking you.
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    Feb 12, 2012 3:41 PM GMT
    SirMoxypants saidAfter being single for about six months, I recently decided to give dating a try again.

    So I go on a date with this guy - not overly attractive, but he seemed nice, so we went for breakfast.

    Pretty soon, I knew this wasn't going anywhere because he was incredibly self-absorbed to the point of intense rudeness. Date ended. He has called and texted me a few times over about a month, and I responded infrequently and briefly hoping he'd get the hint.

    Last night he texted me asking if I wanted to come to his birthday party. I wished him a happy birthday and declined politely. I was so blown away by his response I include it in full below:

    "Thanks. I hope to see you again. My birthday's actually next week but I celebrate it the whole month."
    "You could still send me a birthday card. [includes mailing address]"
    "We will be at [local bar] all night until close. They party will be there so bring a gift if you can make it."


    Me = icon_eek.gif

    *sigh... I have to say, over the years I've gone on some dates with losers, arrogant pricks, psychos, etc. but wow... I just... wow.

    What are your dating horror stories? Come on, I want to hear 'em!
    If he texts you again... just text back, "fuck off"!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 12, 2012 4:08 PM GMT
    SirMoxypants saidAfter being single for about six months, I recently decided to give dating a try again.

    So I go on a date with this guy - not overly attractive, but he seemed nice, so we went for breakfast.

    Pretty soon, I knew this wasn't going anywhere because he was incredibly self-absorbed to the point of intense rudeness. Date ended. He has called and texted me a few times over about a month, and I responded infrequently and briefly hoping he'd get the hint.

    Last night he texted me asking if I wanted to come to his birthday party. I wished him a happy birthday and declined politely. I was so blown away by his response I include it in full below:

    "Thanks. I hope to see you again. My birthday's actually next week but I celebrate it the whole month."
    "You could still send me a birthday card. [includes mailing address]"
    "We will be at [local bar] all night until close. They party will be there so bring a gift if you can make it."


    Me = icon_eek.gif

    *sigh... I have to say, over the years I've gone on some dates with losers, arrogant pricks, psychos, etc. but wow... I just... wow.

    What are your dating horror stories? Come on, I want to hear 'em!


    see it's things like these i simply do not understand. would it not have been much better to simply tell the guy that you didn't think both of you would be compatible and that you have no interest - oh i don't know - just before or after the bfast date ended? instead of being an ass and doing that stupid cowardly avoidance thing?
  • musicdude

    Posts: 734

    Feb 12, 2012 4:12 PM GMT
    some of us don't enjoy bluntly shooting down guys. the way he tried to let him down was actually pretty nice and the guy should've gotten the hint. i think you missed the point though. the dude was a self absorbed prick who was trying to get someone who barely knew him to simply bring him a gift in order to get his ego strocked

    @blackguy4you
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Feb 12, 2012 4:15 PM GMT
    That is pretty amazing. When I first started reading the original post, I wondered, "how bad could this really be". I have to say, if I received a text like that, I would have just laughed, knowing that the individual has some real issues and better not to make them part of my life.

    Better to move on, be polite in a distant way and go.
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    Feb 12, 2012 4:20 PM GMT
    musicdude saidsome of us don't enjoy bluntly shooting down guys. the way he tried to let him down was actually pretty nice and the guy should've gotten the hint. i think you missed the point though. the dude was a self absorbed prick who was trying to get someone who barely knew him to simply bring him a gift in order to get his ego strocked

    @blackguy4you


    so instead of being bluntly honest and closing the door, and providing closure. you hold out hope and think by being a coward someone will read your mind and somehow get the message.

    may the universe continue to spare me from guys like this.

    1. he said a card
    2. had the door been closed - there would never have been another attempt of contacting by the supposedly "self absorbed" guy
    3. we only have the op's statement that the guy was a self absorb prick. how do we know that the op isn't just the same?
    4. from where i'm typing the op has just as much responsibility.
  • musicdude

    Posts: 734

    Feb 12, 2012 4:42 PM GMT
    Blackguy4you said
    musicdude saidsome of us don't enjoy bluntly shooting down guys. the way he tried to let him down was actually pretty nice and the guy should've gotten the hint. i think you missed the point though. the dude was a self absorbed prick who was trying to get someone who barely knew him to simply bring him a gift in order to get his ego strocked

    @blackguy4you


    so instead of being bluntly honest and closing the door, and providing closure. you hold out hope and think by being a coward someone will read your mind and somehow get the message.

    may the universe continue to spare me from guys like this.

    1. he said a card
    2. had the door been closed - there would never have been another attempt of contacting by the supposedly "self absorbed" guy
    3. we only have the op's statement that the guy was a self absorb prick. how do we know that the op isn't just the same?
    4. from where i'm typing the op has just as much responsibility.


    its how he said it. plus, its universaly known that if someone shows disinterest you should let it go. the only time i bluntly turn people down is when they put me on the spot
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    Feb 12, 2012 4:49 PM GMT
    I usually tell the guy politely that we aren't a right match and probably shouldn't see each other again. It might seem cruel but its effective. icon_smile.gif
  • metta

    Posts: 39144

    Feb 12, 2012 5:21 PM GMT
    I don't know why but I find the situation funny. Sorry about that.
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    Feb 12, 2012 5:26 PM GMT
    asnextdoor saidI usually tell the guy politely that we aren't a right match and probably shouldn't see each other again. It might seem cruel but its effective. icon_smile.gif


    Well, I tend to try and avoid it once or twice, but if after the second time they dont get the message, I tell them it isnt a match. If they still try and start something, I stop responding to their messages completely, lol.
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    Feb 12, 2012 5:27 PM GMT
    SirMoxypants saidAfter being single for about six months, I recently decided to give dating a try again.

    So I go on a date with this guy - not overly attractive, but he seemed nice, so we went for breakfast.

    Pretty soon, I knew this wasn't going anywhere because he was incredibly self-absorbed to the point of intense rudeness. Date ended. He has called and texted me a few times over about a month, and I responded infrequently and briefly hoping he'd get the hint.

    Last night he texted me asking if I wanted to come to his birthday party. I wished him a happy birthday and declined politely. I was so blown away by his response I include it in full below:

    "Thanks. I hope to see you again. My birthday's actually next week but I celebrate it the whole month."
    "You could still send me a birthday card. [includes mailing address]"
    "We will be at [local bar] all night until close. They party will be there so bring a gift if you can make it."


    Me = icon_eek.gif

    *sigh... I have to say, over the years I've gone on some dates with losers, arrogant pricks, psychos, etc. but wow... I just... wow.

    What are your dating horror stories? Come on, I want to hear 'em!


    I would have definitely gotten the hint if you said you didn't want to come to my birthday party, but the responding infrequently and briefly game is really obnoxious, and I have to say, I never know whether the guy is genuinely tied up and can't talk and has an interest in me or is not interested and being a prick by continuing to play games. It's much better to be up front and say "sorry, we're not a match, best of luck to you" and be done with it, it also is a lot more respectful. Why do you people enjoy playing this game?
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    Feb 12, 2012 5:29 PM GMT
    NewNDiscreet said
    SirMoxypants saidAfter being single for about six months, I recently decided to give dating a try again.

    So I go on a date with this guy - not overly attractive, but he seemed nice, so we went for breakfast.

    Pretty soon, I knew this wasn't going anywhere because he was incredibly self-absorbed to the point of intense rudeness. Date ended. He has called and texted me a few times over about a month, and I responded infrequently and briefly hoping he'd get the hint.

    Last night he texted me asking if I wanted to come to his birthday party. I wished him a happy birthday and declined politely. I was so blown away by his response I include it in full below:

    "Thanks. I hope to see you again. My birthday's actually next week but I celebrate it the whole month."
    "You could still send me a birthday card. [includes mailing address]"
    "We will be at [local bar] all night until close. They party will be there so bring a gift if you can make it."


    Me = icon_eek.gif

    *sigh... I have to say, over the years I've gone on some dates with losers, arrogant pricks, psychos, etc. but wow... I just... wow.

    What are your dating horror stories? Come on, I want to hear 'em!


    I would have definitely gotten the hint if you said you didn't want to come to my birthday party, but the responding infrequently and briefly game is really obnoxious, and I have to say, I never know whether the guy is genuinely tied up and can't talk and has an interest in me or is not interested and being a prick by continuing to play games. It's much better to be up front and say "sorry, we're not a match, best of luck to you" and be done with it, it also is a lot more respectful. Why do you people enjoy playing this game?


    If someone is playing hard to get, he might as well not be interested, especially with 2 men involved. If two guys are attracted to each other, the bow chicka wow wow happens on its own. That is all.
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    Feb 12, 2012 5:29 PM GMT
    asnextdoor saidI usually tell the guy politely that we aren't a right match and probably shouldn't see each other again. It might seem cruel but its effective. icon_smile.gif


    No I don't think this is cruel at all, I think this is actually the contrary, it's respectful, to text infrequently and to send mixed signals is cruel.
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    Feb 12, 2012 5:30 PM GMT
    I agree with the whole. . .letting someone actually know that you don't want to see them again.
  • Kinneticbrian

    Posts: 230

    Feb 12, 2012 5:30 PM GMT
    OK - So the first date than happened after my last relationship ended three years ago:

    Met this guy who was pretty cute and seemed nice and he asked me out. He lives in a close suburb and I had my car here at the time so getting to the date was no big deal. He said since he asked me, he'd be glad to plan the date and that all I had to do was show up.

    (Done now in the voice of the late Rod Roddy for proper effect)

    Your dream date in the suburbs begins with a trip to "Bed Bath and Beyond" where you, Brian, get to push the CART! Then, hang on because you are off to amazing "TARGET" to shop for dog food and bathmats! Following that you'll have dinner at a fast food restaurant, a trip to Shell for gas and finally the supermarket where you again get to push the cart!

    Once back home - you can visit with the dog while your date runs the vacuum cleaner and then invites you to a romantic perch at the top of the staircase where you get to watch him model stylish "Playtex Yellow Gloves" while scrubbing the toilet with Lysol.

    All this can be yours if The Price is Right!

    (End Rod Roddy Rant)

    The moral of the story is this:

    No matter how kinky you might think you are, no matter how open minded you might be... If Lysol products and yellow Playtex gloves are involved ANYWHERE in a first date - It's a bigger disaster than Rosie O' Donnell in a wet t-shirt.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Feb 12, 2012 5:33 PM GMT
    SirMoxypants saidAfter being single for about six months, I recently decided to give dating a try again.

    So I go on a date with this guy - not overly attractive, but he seemed nice, so we went for breakfast.

    Pretty soon, I knew this wasn't going anywhere because he was incredibly self-absorbed to the point of intense rudeness. Date ended. He has called and texted me a few times over about a month, and I responded infrequently and briefly hoping he'd get the hint.

    Last night he texted me asking if I wanted to come to his birthday party. I wished him a happy birthday and declined politely. I was so blown away by his response I include it in full below:

    "Thanks. I hope to see you again. My birthday's actually next week but I celebrate it the whole month."
    "You could still send me a birthday card. [includes mailing address]"
    "We will be at [local bar] all night until close. They party will be there so bring a gift if you can make it."


    Me = icon_eek.gif

    *sigh... I have to say, over the years I've gone on some dates with losers, arrogant pricks, psychos, etc. but wow... I just... wow.

    What are your dating horror stories? Come on, I want to hear 'em!


    you should tell him you don't want to come between the relationship between him and his ego.
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    Feb 12, 2012 5:35 PM GMT
    musicdude saidsome of us don't enjoy bluntly shooting down guys. the way he tried to let him down was actually pretty nice and the guy should've gotten the hint. i think you missed the point though. the dude was a self absorbed prick who was trying to get someone who barely knew him to simply bring him a gift in order to get his ego strocked

    @blackguy4you


    So let me get this straight, you don't enjoy bluntly shooting down guys, but you enjoy being an ass and playing games instead aka leaving "hints"? What is this, fucking Clue? And this is besides the point that the guy is a self-absorbed douche, I've been on the receiving end of this and I'm far from being a douche. And no it's not universally accepted that being inconsistent with responses is equal to politely telling someone you aren't interested bluntly!
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    Feb 12, 2012 5:35 PM GMT
    coolarmydude saidIf you're inclined to get him a gift, buy him an intervention.

    WIN!

    LMAO! "...so bring a gift..." That's hysterical. He must be suffering from arrested development, still thinking like a child who imagines his parents and the world were put here to give him things for free.
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    Feb 12, 2012 5:35 PM GMT
    SirMoxypants saidAfter being single for about six months, I recently decided to give dating a try again.

    So I go on a date with this guy - not overly attractive, but he seemed nice, so we went for breakfast.

    Pretty soon, I knew this wasn't going anywhere because he was incredibly self-absorbed to the point of intense rudeness. Date ended. He has called and texted me a few times over about a month, and I responded infrequently and briefly hoping he'd get the hint.

    Last night he texted me asking if I wanted to come to his birthday party. I wished him a happy birthday and declined politely. I was so blown away by his response I include it in full below:

    "Thanks. I hope to see you again. My birthday's actually next week but I celebrate it the whole month."
    "You could still send me a birthday card. [includes mailing address]"
    "We will be at [local bar] all night until close. They party will be there so bring a gift if you can make it."


    Me = icon_eek.gif

    *sigh... I have to say, over the years I've gone on some dates with losers, arrogant pricks, psychos, etc. but wow... I just... wow.

    What are your dating horror stories? Come on, I want to hear 'em!


    Wow. That is kinda douchy. If you truly have nothing to lose tell him to buy his own damn gift. And please post his response....icon_biggrin.gif

    EDIT: OMG I KNOW YOU! We were at the super bowl party in DC a few weeks ago....
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    Feb 12, 2012 5:36 PM GMT
    NewNDiscreet said
    musicdude saidsome of us don't enjoy bluntly shooting down guys. the way he tried to let him down was actually pretty nice and the guy should've gotten the hint. i think you missed the point though. the dude was a self absorbed prick who was trying to get someone who barely knew him to simply bring him a gift in order to get his ego strocked

    @blackguy4you


    So let me get this straight, you don't enjoy bluntly shooting down guys, but you enjoy playing games instead aka leaving "hints"? What is this, fucking Clue?


    Its called social grace NewNDiscreet. If someone is busy all the damn time, you should just find people who will make time for you. Why would you even want to be with someone who plays games all the damn time? Those guys are pricks. Yes some people lack the spine to say "Im not interested" but you know what? Not making time for someone is another way of saying "Im not interested."
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    Feb 12, 2012 5:40 PM GMT
    asnextdoor saidI usually tell the guy politely that we aren't a right match and probably shouldn't see each other again. It might seem cruel but its effective. icon_smile.gif


    +1
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    Feb 12, 2012 5:41 PM GMT
    musicdude said
    Blackguy4you said
    musicdude saidsome of us don't enjoy bluntly shooting down guys. the way he tried to let him down was actually pretty nice and the guy should've gotten the hint. i think you missed the point though. the dude was a self absorbed prick who was trying to get someone who barely knew him to simply bring him a gift in order to get his ego strocked

    @blackguy4you


    so instead of being bluntly honest and closing the door, and providing closure. you hold out hope and think by being a coward someone will read your mind and somehow get the message.

    may the universe continue to spare me from guys like this.

    1. he said a card
    2. had the door been closed - there would never have been another attempt of contacting by the supposedly "self absorbed" guy
    3. we only have the op's statement that the guy was a self absorb prick. how do we know that the op isn't just the same?
    4. from where i'm typing the op has just as much responsibility.


    its how he said it. plus, its universaly known that if someone shows disinterest you should let it go. the only time i bluntly turn people down is when they put me on the spot


    universally known? amongst the uncouth and flakes perhaps.