Upset I didn't say something...

  • torathlete

    Posts: 58

    Feb 12, 2012 3:22 PM GMT
    So I was at the movies last night with a friend and there were 2 high school kids behind us, talking shit and the like. One started talking about a friend who he thought was gay. And the other asked how he knew, and he said when I yell "hey faggot" he turns and looks.

    I couldn't believe this conversation was going on in a crowded theatre! But I chose to stay calm and not turn around and say "you're lucky you're "friend" isn't as big as I am or he'd kick the crap out of you for calling him a faggot".

    But now, I'm disappointed in myself that I didn't say something. I didn't want to make a scene but sometimes I think making a scene is the only way to make some people understand that that kind of language is not to be tolerated.

    Thoughts?
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    Feb 12, 2012 3:24 PM GMT
    I woulda turned around and said "hey faggot, stfu."
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    Feb 12, 2012 3:24 PM GMT
    Sometimes just turning and shooting a WTF look is enough.
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    Feb 12, 2012 3:26 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidI woulda turned around and said "hey faggot, stfu."
    FTW! THIS! ^
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    Feb 12, 2012 4:59 PM GMT
    I was in toronto heading for the subway, and a lady in front of me was of Middle Eastern descent. These two teenage boys walked by and were calling out slurs from the South Park movie "dirka dirka jihad Allah ooloolooloo". I was so shocked that it actually happened and by the time it registered they were at the top of the steps and we were at the bottom. I'm really mad at myself for not saying something to let them know others looked down upon them for doing that.
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    Feb 12, 2012 5:02 PM GMT
    SkinnyBitch saidI was in toronto heading for the subway, and a lady in front of me was of Middle Eastern descent. These two teenage boys walked by and were calling out slurs from the South Park movie "dirka dirka jihad Allah ooloolooloo". I was so shocked that it actually happened and by the time it registered they were at the top of the steps and we were at the bottom. I'm really mad at myself for not saying something to let them know others looked down upon them for doing that.


    Do subways in Canada use poutine as fuel?
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    Feb 12, 2012 5:03 PM GMT
    TropicalMark said
    paulflexes saidI woulda turned around and said "hey faggot, stfu."
    FTW! THIS! ^

    +100
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    Feb 12, 2012 5:05 PM GMT
    Should have put him in a head hold as you were walking out and wiper in his ear "want to come home with me little boy" then let him go and walk away.
  • a303guy

    Posts: 829

    Feb 12, 2012 5:17 PM GMT
    torathlete saidSo I was at the movies last night with a friend and there were 2 high school kids behind us, talking shit and the like. One started talking about a friend who he thought was gay. And the other asked how he knew, and he said when I yell "hey faggot" he turns and looks.

    I couldn't believe this conversation was going on in a crowded theatre! But I chose to stay calm and not turn around and say "you're lucky you're "friend" isn't as big as I am or he'd kick the crap out of you for calling him a faggot".

    But now, I'm disappointed in myself that I didn't say something. I didn't want to make a scene but sometimes I think making a scene is the only way to make some people understand that that kind of language is not to be tolerated.

    Thoughts?


    I can understand your disappointment, but you really shouldn't beat yourself up over it. What you're really responding to, in my opinion, is our status in society - not your inability to act.

    From the moment we realize who we are, we also realize how society marginalizes us, and stomps into our consciousness that we are 'less than' the rest of the population. Therefore, our willingness or ability to stand up and take charge of a situation like the one you are in is reduced considerably.

    I don't like playing the blame game - but in this case, I think its ok - because what you couldn't make yourself do, is not, I believe, your fault.
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    Feb 12, 2012 5:31 PM GMT
    I would be on the fence about whether or not to say something.

    Though, if I did I would've said something like: "you know... homophobes are just closet cases themselves and are projecting their insecurities with their own sexuality onto others. I feel really bad for you"

    Or maybe, "Oh shut up! It's not like you and your buddy haven't gotten it on with eachother- yet" would have been more effective.
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    Feb 12, 2012 5:34 PM GMT
    In those situations, best to just leave it be.
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    Feb 12, 2012 5:45 PM GMT
    EastCoastNAZ saidIn those situations, best to just leave it be.

    I agree. But, then again, I'm a total coward.
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    Feb 12, 2012 5:50 PM GMT
    SkinnyBitch saidI was in toronto heading for the subway, and a lady in front of me was of Middle Eastern descent. These two teenage boys walked by and were calling out slurs from the South Park movie "dirka dirka jihad Allah ooloolooloo". I was so shocked that it actually happened and by the time it registered they were at the top of the steps and we were at the bottom. I'm really mad at myself for not saying something to let them know others looked down upon them for doing that.


    This is way more common (maybe here) than you think. When called on it people will say "No no it's ok I was just talking about south park!" or "I offend everyone equally!"
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    Feb 12, 2012 5:50 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidI woulda turned around and said "hey faggot, stfu."


    haha
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    Feb 12, 2012 5:54 PM GMT
    sweetyork said
    EastCoastNAZ saidIn those situations, best to just leave it be.

    I agree. But, then again, I'm a total coward.


    Leaving it be is not being cowardly. I just don't feed into passive crap like that. If they said something to me directly, then abso-frickin'-lutely I'd be in their faces.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Feb 12, 2012 6:19 PM GMT
    I wouldn't give highschoolers the time of day for making gay jokes. They don't even understand themselves let alone others. I would tell them to shut the fuck up because they are ruining the movie however.
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    Feb 12, 2012 6:22 PM GMT
    DoomsDayAlpaca said "No no it's ok I was just talking about south park!"


    Then I should have said "I love South Park. You should know though, that when it makes jokes like that, it is making fun of people like you. It actually is, I'm not just trying to turn it around on you. It's making fun of people who don't know anything about a topic and say ignorant things, and how stupid they look when they do that."

    If only life waited 10 seconds for you to come up with responses. grrr life.
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    Feb 12, 2012 6:23 PM GMT
    Should have just beat his ass lol
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    Feb 12, 2012 6:23 PM GMT
    EastCoastNAZ said
    sweetyork said
    EastCoastNAZ saidIn those situations, best to just leave it be.

    I agree. But, then again, I'm a total coward.


    Leaving it be is not being cowardly. I just don't feed into passive crap like that. If they said something to me directly, then abso-frickin'-lutely I'd be in their faces.


    I don't think it's cowardly, I think it's irresponsible and it enables them to keep doing it. Even if you shook your head at them, they'd know there was one vote against that kind of behaviour and it would stick in their head in future attempts.
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    Feb 12, 2012 7:01 PM GMT
    Sometimes we have put politeness aside and cuss the living breath out of those idiots...Its the only way for them to learn...
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    Feb 12, 2012 7:02 PM GMT
    torathlete saidSo I was at the movies last night with a friend and there were 2 high school kids behind us, talking shit and the like. One started talking about a friend who he thought was gay. And the other asked how he knew, and he said when I yell "hey faggot" he turns and looks.

    I couldn't believe this conversation was going on in a crowded theatre! But I chose to stay calm and not turn around and say "you're lucky you're "friend" isn't as big as I am or he'd kick the crap out of you for calling him a faggot".

    But now, I'm disappointed in myself that I didn't say something. I didn't want to make a scene but sometimes I think making a scene is the only way to make some people understand that that kind of language is not to be tolerated.

    Thoughts?


    I don't know that escalating the situation by directing his anger towards you wouldn't just have had him accidentally kicking your seat during the movie and wrecking your night, or later taking out his embarrassment on the person you thought to defend.

    Without even engaging him directly, you could have turned to your companion and said within good earshot, "what kind of a person would treat their friends like that?"

    When people abuse others, sometimes it helps to turn their attention inward and let them think it out the rest of the way for themselves.
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    Feb 12, 2012 7:13 PM GMT
    So this is why IMAX houses are turned up to the point of removing paint.

    After a group of brainless twats ruined "SIGNS" for me,
    I keep the box-office number on my cell.

    I've been successful in getting several people ejected for this.
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    Feb 12, 2012 7:13 PM GMT
    I would have said something icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 12, 2012 7:28 PM GMT
    Claystation saidI would have said something icon_biggrin.gif


    You? icon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gif

    icon_cool.gificon_cool.gificon_razz.gificon_razz.gif
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    Feb 12, 2012 7:45 PM GMT
    SkinnyBitch said
    EastCoastNAZ said
    sweetyork said
    EastCoastNAZ saidIn those situations, best to just leave it be.

    I agree. But, then again, I'm a total coward.


    Leaving it be is not being cowardly. I just don't feed into passive crap like that. If they said something to me directly, then abso-frickin'-lutely I'd be in their faces.


    I don't think it's cowardly, I think it's irresponsible and it enables them to keep doing it. Even if you shook your head at them, they'd know there was one vote against that kind of behaviour and it would stick in their head in future attempts.


    "Enabling" is also when you clearly feed into it. They clearly wanted attention drawn to their comments, otherwise, they wouldn't be saying it so loud. By acknowledging it, you're giving them exactly what they want. Of course, they know that you would disapprove of the comments, otherwise, they wouldn't be saying it, so you think a "head shake" is going to be effective? Come on.

    TRUST ME, I am NOT fearful of getting into verbal or physical confrontations with people over what is right/wrong.