Gay Forums - Dating & Relationships - Is age just a number?

Is age just a number?

Posts: 632

Feb 12, 2012 7:52 PM GMT

I keep hearing this, but I wonder how safe it is to meet up with someone older than me. As of now, I somewhat feel uncomfortable around people who are older than 25 and even that's kind of pushing it(basically whoever's out of college I'm skeptical about). I know there are lots of attractive 25+ yo and very mature and full of life experience. But how safe is it to meet up with ppl older than me? Is age a factor or just a number? My parents are opposed to me meeting up with ppl older than me. I've met some 25-28 yo while in college and not much really seems different about them they're just students too(one of them, a 28 yo, is also on the rugby team which I've recently joined). But if age is really just a number, I don't want to keep the misconception of older people being risky to meet up with.

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Feb 12, 2012 7:54 PM GMT

No, age is not just a number. Anything over 25 is already 1/4 of a century old, therefore they might as well be making nursing home plans already. Do you really wanna be a part of that?

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Feb 12, 2012 8:18 PM GMT

hornydude01 saidI keep hearing this, but I wonder how safe it is to meet up with someone older than me. As of now, I somewhat feel uncomfortable around people who are older than 25 and even that's kind of pushing it(basically whoever's out of college I'm skeptical about). I know there are lots of attractive 25+ yo and very mature and full of life experience. But how safe is it to meet up with ppl older than me? Is age a factor or just a number? My parents are opposed to me meeting up with ppl older than me. I've met some 25-28 yo while in college and not much really seems different about them they're just students too(one of them, a 28 yo, is also on the rugby team which I've recently joined). But if age is really just a number, I don't want to keep the misconception of older people being risky to meet up with.

Think of age, not as a number of years, but as an indication what stage someone is in in their life. If the person has already left school, he is going to have way different interests and responsibilities, than you are. So even tho you both are going to be hell bent on having sex, the rest of your life style probably won't fit. Eventually, he is going to want to move onto another sex partner and you are going to get hurt. So, your parents are probably right. Date guys around your age and in school.

BTW, just what do you mean when you say "risky" and "how safe"? Are you afraid 25-yos are ax murders? ...

P.S. I am really impressed that you are able to be so open with your parents. You are a very lucky fellow. You are going to get to grow up in an open and natural manner. Not all secretive and with feelings of guilt and poor esteem.

easterndude69

Posts: 632

Feb 12, 2012 9:09 PM GMT

Caslon18453 said
hornydude01 saidI keep hearing this, but I wonder how safe it is to meet up with someone older than me. As of now, I somewhat feel uncomfortable around people who are older than 25 and even that's kind of pushing it(basically whoever's out of college I'm skeptical about). I know there are lots of attractive 25+ yo and very mature and full of life experience. But how safe is it to meet up with ppl older than me? Is age a factor or just a number? My parents are opposed to me meeting up with ppl older than me. I've met some 25-28 yo while in college and not much really seems different about them they're just students too(one of them, a 28 yo, is also on the rugby team which I've recently joined). But if age is really just a number, I don't want to keep the misconception of older people being risky to meet up with.

BTW, just what do you mean when you say "risky" and "how safe"? Are you afraid 25-yos are ax murders? ...

Well its mainly the risk of contracting an STD or being kidnapped, raped, life being put in danger, etc. Idk, that's how my parents feel towards older ppl with younger ppl.

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Feb 12, 2012 10:05 PM GMT

hornydude01 said
Well its mainly the risk of contracting an STD or being kidnapped, raped, life being put in danger, etc. Idk, that's how my parents feel towards older ppl with younger ppl.

Although all of the above can be true (a lot of older guys in the scene who you'll meet online fuck or have fucked around with lots of different dudes, sometimes even bareback. Maybe even most times bareback.... thus being more likely to pick up something)...You need to be careful.

But, I think it's all overboard. Your parents sound a bit overbearing and sheltering. You're 19. You're an adult. Do your thing. Meeting with an older guy is not dangerous these days. It's not 1972 where I bet most older guys were cracked out and picking up guys in vans and dumping them out and shit.

But warning, most older guys over 25 won't be interested in relationship with you. I met a ton of them, they were just about sex.

dancedancekj

Posts: 1761

Feb 12, 2012 10:18 PM GMT

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Feb 12, 2012 10:21 PM GMT

Gonna probably go against the grain here and say no, it's not just a number.

If you are speaking strictly from a sexual attraction level, then yeah I will agree, age is a number and isn't super important - if you are into older dudes, awesome, if you are into younger (legal) dudes - that's cool too.

But I think from a relationship standpoint, there are some issues that arise when there is a significant (over 15 year) age gap.

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Feb 12, 2012 10:22 PM GMT

TallJock said
hornydude01 said
Well its mainly the risk of contracting an STD or being kidnapped, raped, life being put in danger, etc. Idk, that's how my parents feel towards older ppl with younger ppl.

Although all of the above can be true (a lot of older guys in the scene who you'll meet online fuck or have fucked around with lots of different dudes, sometimes even bareback. Maybe even most times bareback.... thus being more likely to pick up something)...You need to be careful.

But, I think it's all overboard. Your parents sound a bit overbearing and sheltering. You're 19. You're an adult. Do your thing. Meeting with an older guy is not dangerous these days. It's not 1972 where I bet most older guys were cracked out and picking up guys in vans and dumping them out and shit.

But warning, most older guys over 25 won't be interested in relationship with you. I met a ton of them, they were just about sex.

I've actually seen sort of the opposite - a lot of young guys are extremely cavalier about sex and don't give a shit about using condoms.

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Feb 12, 2012 10:23 PM GMT

No, not to me. I really am not into the younger types. I usually like my age or slightly older...I think it's a maturity thing. The youngest I dated was a 22 year old and it showed after a very short time.

I'm only 26...but I'm pretty mature for my age. Usually younger guys are...not. Happy to be proven wrong.

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Feb 12, 2012 10:28 PM GMT

7Famark said
I've actually seen sort of the opposite - a lot of young guys are extremely cavalier about sex and don't give a shit about using condoms.

Yeah, but older guys can be more easily coerced into not using a condom. Not that I talk them into it...but ya know.

One guy I dated had the nerve to tell me weeks later he didn't like the idea of doing bareback. Well the asshole never had any fucking condoms lying around...tons of lube, but no condoms. I had to make sure I bought condoms over. I'm like dude, you're an idiot. If you didn't like bareback you'd have a trash bag FULL of condoms.

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Feb 12, 2012 10:28 PM GMT

age is just a word

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Feb 12, 2012 10:29 PM GMT

7Famark saidI've actually seen sort of the opposite - a lot of young guys are extremely cavalier about sex and don't give a shit about using condoms.

That's both terrifying and depressing.

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Feb 12, 2012 10:31 PM GMT

Hatter said
7Famark saidI've actually seen sort of the opposite - a lot of young guys are extremely cavalier about sex and don't give a shit about using condoms.

That's both terrifying and depressing.

It is. I think with all of the progressions made in anti-retroviral treatment, a lot of young guys don't view certain things as being a big deal anymore.

It's unfortunate.

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Feb 12, 2012 10:34 PM GMT

Hatter said
7Famark saidI've actually seen sort of the opposite - a lot of young guys are extremely cavalier about sex and don't give a shit about using condoms.

That's both terrifying and depressing.

I once watched a friend get bareback fucked by some guy that he knew for 2 years...but they were just fuck buddies!

I had to sit down and have a little lesson with him. I'm like yeah the 3som was hot...but you let that guy cum in you like 3 times, you don't know who else he probably fucked. I gave a list of STDs that he could have gotten, and he got utterly surprised and depressed.

I'm like, that's why kids need to take Human growth and development in middle school

They just hop on adam4adam and craigslist at 14 with their ass wide open to the world.

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Feb 12, 2012 10:35 PM GMT

It's NOT a number. I've noticed that guys who are even just 10 years younger have a different life perspective, values, and work ethic. Their life history and frames of reference are nowhere near mine..my music, ideology, philosphy, and simply my priorities At my age there is a lot of "been there, done that, over it." And that's in a good way for me---I know what I like and what I don't.

Plus, I never want to be in the role of "teacher" nor would I want to be "taught." I HATE being told (or telling someone) that "You should......" or that "You need to...."

I've dated all over the age spectrum, and that's my experince.

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Feb 12, 2012 10:38 PM GMT

garyinla saidIt's NOT a number. I've noticed that guys who are even just 10 years younger have a different life perspective, values, and work ethic. Their life history and frames of reference are nowhere near mine..

So a 43 year old guy is too young for you? Let me send this to my X who swore life ended at 45...(then again he was kinda immature for me, perhaps I need to move up to the 50s crowd)

garyinla saidmy music, ideology, philosphy, and simply my priorities

I'm curious, what kind of music do guys 50+ listen to lol?

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Feb 12, 2012 10:46 PM GMT

Age (noun):
The length of time that a person has lived or a thing has existed

It might be a number. But I find many gay men(online) use it to determine boundary lines. You know under 25 he's a kid, over 55 he's just too old. I don't agree- but I'm 18 what would I know, I'm still a kid

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Feb 12, 2012 10:47 PM GMT

TallJock said
garyinla saidIt's NOT a number. I've noticed that guys who are even just 10 years younger have a different life perspective, values, and work ethic. Their life history and frames of reference are nowhere near mine..

So a 43 year old guy is too young for you? Let me send this to my X who swore life ended at 45...(then again he was kinda immature for me, perhaps I need to move up to the 50s crowd)

garyinla saidmy music, ideology, philosphy, and simply my priorities

I'm curious, what kind of music do guys 50+ listen to lol?

Being over 50 does not mean we are dead I like all kinds of music at the moment I love LMFAO I like to dance and have fun just like you.

a303guy

Posts: 831

Feb 12, 2012 10:55 PM GMT

TallJock said
garyinla saidIt's NOT a number. I've noticed that guys who are even just 10 years younger have a different life perspective, values, and work ethic. Their life history and frames of reference are nowhere near mine..

So a 43 year old guy is too young for you? Let me send this to my X who swore life ended at 45...(then again he was kinda immature for me, perhaps I need to move up to the 50s crowd)

garyinla saidmy music, ideology, philosphy, and simply my priorities

I'm curious, what kind of music do guys 50+ listen to lol?

I listen almost exclusively to trance. My boyfriend is 23, and I'm 53. We both love each other, his attractions to me are my age and experience, my attractions to him are his eyes wide open view of the world and exuberant confidence. And yes, he chose me, not the other way around. I was putting the brakes on for quite awhile before I finally relented and gave in. It was a great decision.

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Feb 12, 2012 10:57 PM GMT

As you age, the difference in age means less. There is a big difference in appearance, behaviour, and experience between a 19 year old and a 29 year old, but not so much between 29 and 39, and often indistinguishable between 69 and 79. Some people look and act 10 years younger than their real age, while others appear 10 years older. So yeah, age is something to consider, but don't place too much value on it, especially if dating within 10 or so years of your own age.

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Feb 12, 2012 10:58 PM GMT

hornydude01 saidI keep hearing this, but I wonder how safe it is to meet up with someone older than me. As of now, I somewhat feel uncomfortable around people who are older than 25 and even that's kind of pushing it(basically whoever's out of college I'm skeptical about). I know there are lots of attractive 25+ yo and very mature and full of life experience. But how safe is it to meet up with ppl older than me? Is age a factor or just a number? My parents are opposed to me meeting up with ppl older than me. I've met some 25-28 yo while in college and not much really seems different about them they're just students too(one of them, a 28 yo, is also on the rugby team which I've recently joined). But if age is really just a number, I don't want to keep the misconception of older people being risky to meet up with.

It is, you are as young/old, as you feel or act. I would know.

brickznj

Posts: 1

Feb 14, 2012 8:51 AM GMT

I've had a "friend" whom i met when I was 33 and he was 21. I'm 36 now. We still have sex on the regular. No, we are not lovers, and he doesn't ask me for anything, and i'm not using him for sex either, but I see he is 24, attractive and has a big dick, and I let him be what he has to be. We always use condoms. I wish it could be more but there is a twelve year gap...

dms_windsor

Posts: 12

Feb 14, 2012 10:05 AM GMT

Age is only an issue, I think, if you make it one. Of course that's coming from an "old guy" , lol. Is equipment size an issue? or hairiness? or ethnicity? They're all just sorting methods for preferances. The other half of me is someone I never would have imagined I'd go for, For starts he's 18 years younger than myself, totally different background, but 16 years later he's still THE ONE. When the chemistry between two people is right the world outside ceases to exist.

alphatop

Posts: 1955

Feb 14, 2012 10:27 AM GMT

Run if you see someone 30+. Geez!

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Feb 14, 2012 10:56 AM GMT

No. Age is not just a number. It also tells you how many times you've travelled around the sun.

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Is age just a number?