Are you both suppose to do something on valentines day?

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  Feb 13, 2012 12:58 PM GMT

  I'm wondering this all week.
  
  So, seeing a really great guy, he's adorable, fun and really cute.
  
  Anyway.
  
  We started talking about valentines day and I told him I'm gonna cook for him. He likes that, he liked my food a LOT.
  
  But then he mentioned doing something for me and my immediate mental reaction was "But your not suppose to do anything for me"
  
  And something showed on my face so when he asked I stated what I'd thought.
  
  I've actually always been this way, I've always been the one too want to organise valentines day.
  
  Personally I'm not very romantic, a blow jobs romantic to me hahaha but I know others like it so I try.
  
  So was my reaction a wrong one? he didn't seem to mind and I'm not fussed if he just turns up to enjoy a romantic dinner, actually I'd prefer it because getting me flowers or stuff like that doesn't really do it for me heh.

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• calibro
  
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  Feb 13, 2012 1:42 PM GMT

  wombo, valentine's day is like a good relationship. if you're not going to be versatile, then just tie me face down to the bed. i hope that cleared things up.

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  Feb 13, 2012 1:50 PM GMT

  It was my understanding that you both do something. But if just one person does something and the other does nothing then it seems kind of weird. Too many things come to mind.
  
  Maybe the guy that did nothing is lazy
  Maybe the guy that did something is a control freak and wouldn't let the other person do something
  Maybe the guy that did nothing is spoiled
  etc...
  
  If I had a valentines that did nothing, like not even a card. I'd be pretty bitter, shit he could even get me a beer and that would work.

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  Feb 13, 2012 1:52 PM GMT

  For my valentine <3
  
  

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• DCEric
  
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  Feb 13, 2012 1:53 PM GMT

  Do you want him to do something for you on Vday? If not then say so (which you did), but also recognize that just like you the act of doing something for you may mean something to him.
  
  Ayan and I let it go without so much as a peep, because it doesn't matter to us. However, this year he is in India, and so I slipped a card into his suitcase. It's been years since we bothered with February 14th and I thought it was something nice that I enjoyed doing (love being clandestine) and that I believed he would enjoy receiving.

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  Feb 13, 2012 1:53 PM GMT

  I think Valentine's Day is the day that so many people use as a diagnosis of their romantic relationship with their partner, and in my mind, it's pretty stupid. We have 364 days to show someone we care, so we really don't need a particular holiday to make us feel any more worthy or unworthy of the person we know we love; especially if we've taken the time to show them that we love them plenty in the time we've known them!
  
  Sure, it's good to have flowers, chocolates and ritualized sex when everyone else is expected to do the same thing and share with their closest friends, and for some, coworkers what you did on this emotionally draining day; but why bother? If your relationship is doomed, it's doomed!; if it's good it'll last long passed V-day!

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  Feb 13, 2012 1:54 PM GMT

  Larkin saidFor my valentine <3
  
  

  
  
  Will you be my Valentine, Larkin? The second round is on me!!

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  Feb 13, 2012 1:57 PM GMT

  We give those away at my job from our distributors who give us free swag.
  
  I think it's sweet to do things for someone you love just in general. Why wait til V-day? I like doing things for people I love because I want to and because it makes me happy to see them happy.
  

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• calibro
  
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  Feb 13, 2012 1:57 PM GMT

  Larkin saidFor my valentine <3
  
  

  
  
  oh larky, i'd let you correct my misplaced modifiers all night long, drinking until you couldn't separate a participialing adjective from a gerund.

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  Feb 13, 2012 2:05 PM GMT

  Larkin saidFor my valentine <3
  
  

  
  
  YASSSS!!!
  
  

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  Feb 13, 2012 2:15 PM GMT

  Accepted! On my way!!
  
  

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  Feb 13, 2012 2:17 PM GMT

  swoon
  
  (original pic has issues)

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  Feb 13, 2012 2:21 PM GMT

  
  
  I think?? .
  
  Wrestle for it perhaps

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  Feb 13, 2012 2:22 PM GMT

  Claystation saidswoon
  
  

  
  
  fixed
  

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  Feb 13, 2012 2:24 PM GMT

  Hey lilTanker, relationships are rather reciprocal things.

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  Feb 13, 2012 2:28 PM GMT

  Claystation said

  Claystation saidswoon
  
  

  
  
  fixed
  

  
  
  Aww.
  
  

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  Feb 13, 2012 2:31 PM GMT

  

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  Feb 13, 2012 2:32 PM GMT

  Zelda and beer would pretty much be a perfect Valentines day for me!
  
  But on topic, if he wants to do something for you, then that's great. If not, and you didn't agree to it beforehand, it's a little weird. At the very least some sort of gift or acknowledgment is appropriate.

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  Feb 13, 2012 3:20 PM GMT

  Let him participate on the dinner idea. You cook. He brings the wine pairings. And condoms. ( for dessert).

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  Feb 13, 2012 8:22 PM GMT

  It's doomed? shit really?? I wanna do something nice for a guy on valentines day and it's doom??? It's the first time he's been with a guy on valentines day, he's a little excited about it, I wanted it to be special for him... and hun, we don't have "ritualized sex"
  
  Thanks Claystation, I think he is gonna do something but it was just my thoughts that he isn't suppose to haha bit weird really.
  
  Eric, your just a freakin cutie but you already knew that
  
  Guy101 I haven't waited until Valentines day, I've done stuff like this tons of time already, it's just this time he's excited even more about it cause as I said it's his first valentines day with a fella.
  
  Swlabo, hahaha if he could choose wine I'd love that he'll do what he want but I'm not at all concerned if he doesn't do anything
  
  

  yourname2000 saidIt's definitely a little weird that the hooker is buying the client a V-day gift, but it sounds like you've purchased the whole "BF-experience", so good on him for thinking about it. Make sure he doesn't go too overboard since it's just going to be on your final bill.

  
  Ya know, I really don't give a shit about you or your opinions and I couldn't possibly care less about your opinion of me.
  
  But how's about you do what I do when it comes to you and just ignore your stupid arse? That would be much better then having to deal with you and your comments that seem to endlessly proliferate rj!

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• DCEric
  
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  Feb 13, 2012 8:31 PM GMT

  lilT, you know you're awesome. I've got to get to Sydney.

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  Feb 13, 2012 8:39 PM GMT

  DCEric saidlilT, you know you're awesome. I've got to get to Sydney.

  
  noooooooooo hahahaha You'd be in danger hahaha
  
  But i'm not going to be in Sydney much longer (a few weeks) I'm moving to Brisbane

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  Feb 13, 2012 8:59 PM GMT

  Giving feels good. Why deprive him of that?

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  Feb 13, 2012 9:12 PM GMT

  lilTanker saidI've actually always been this way, I've always been the one too want to organise valentines day.
  
  Personally I'm not very romantic, a blow jobs romantic to me hahaha but I know others like it so I try.
  
  So was my reaction a wrong one? he didn't seem to mind and I'm not fussed if he just turns up to enjoy a romantic dinner, actually I'd prefer it because getting me flowers or stuff like that doesn't really do it for me heh.

  
  Organizing is my job, it's what I do best, my career was consumed with it. And he's so busy, whereas I have time on my hands, if not always the transportation. So I'm the one who makes these things happen.
  
  But funny you should mention this, because I just walked in the door. Today it all came together, and I completed the last of the plans for tomorrow, the 14th. All of which had been put in place already, but some things had to wait until today to finalize. For instance:
  
  - The mylar heart balloon, with an image that matches the dozen roses.
  - The dozen roses themselves, which match...
  - The rose on the Valentine's heart candy box.
  
  The teddy bear holding a red heart (he collects bears) I already had, and his paws will also be cradling the Valentine's card. I don't like putting cards in envelops, too Post Office. Attached to that card will be a gift card from the restaurant at which I made 7 PM reservations. Oh, and the image on the Valentine's card is a table setting for 2, to further emphasize where we'll be going next. All of this will be displayed on the dining room table when he gets home tomorrow, in a kinda tableau.
  
  The owner just gave a plastic gift card to me within the last half hour, that I'll attach to the Valentine's card. But it has no value, their logo just an indicator of where we're going. Still, I wanted my husband to see it, so he understands the gift. I'll hand it back to the owner tomorrow when we arrive.
  
  But I did confirm the pre-pay with my own bank card today, signing the authorization. The owner will simply insert the amount tomorrow, I trust him, along with a 20% tip for our server (whom I specified). Or I told him to make it 25% if I indicate I'm very pleased. That way there'll be no unromantic awkwardness with a check being presented at the table when we finish.
  
  I also confirmed the champagne this afternoon, and had it set aside, to ensure it will be chilled and available for us in an ice bucket as we're seated. Avoids my having to make any selection fuss about it, it'll just appear.
  
  The missing element is a wrapped present at the table. The owner asked me today where it was, but I haven't yet gotten one. I'm stumped. I have barely 24 hours to select something, and get it over there, so it can be presented on a platter when coffee and desert are served. I'm simply at my wits end trying to think of something small, romantic & personal, that he doesn't already have. I may fail on that one. Perhaps a wristwatch, he loves those, but time is short.

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  Feb 13, 2012 9:38 PM GMT

  Scruffypup saidGiving feels good. Why deprive him of that?

  
  Oh I wont at all, that's why I'm cooking for him and why I went to so much trouble over it hahaha a three course meal involves effort

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