Has being gay affected your work life?

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    Feb 14, 2012 5:00 AM GMT
    Right now I am still studying Uni but I am also working, however im not out in my job yet. I have been wondering lately if being gay will affect my work life, especially in a world where hookers, drugs and appearances is a big deal, I mean I love my area (finance, investment management) but I'm kind of afraid of my future because of my sexuality.
    Any experiences, stories, advices?
    Thanks!
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    Feb 14, 2012 5:14 AM GMT
    Only if you let it.
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    Feb 14, 2012 5:15 AM GMT
    But should I keep myself in the closet then? :/
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    Feb 14, 2012 5:30 AM GMT
    A_X91 saidBut should I keep myself in the closet then? :/
    Why would you want to 'hide' who you are?
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    Feb 14, 2012 10:42 AM GMT
    You don't have to disclose anything about your personal life to the people you work with if you don't want to. In your case, you probably aren't comfortable in doing so yet and that's ok.

    I'm in the sciences and given that people are open minded about pretty much everything, I don't go waving around my gay card at coffee, at lunch time or during meetings. I actually prefer to somewhat keep my personal life disclosure to a minimum with the people I work with and so far it has been a good approach.
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    Feb 14, 2012 11:22 AM GMT

    " I have been wondering lately if being gay will affect my work life, especially in a world where hookers, drugs and appearances is a big deal,"

    There are a fair number of straight people who are involved with hookers and drugs.

    You can be gay and conservatively dressed and behave in a completely business-like fashion.

    ...Do you live in a place where gays are persecuted?

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    Feb 14, 2012 3:03 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    "

    ...Do you live in a place where gays are persecuted?



    Well usually people that are educated don't care, unfortunately as in any other part of the world there are tons of ignorant assholes.
    But idk for example for a promotion or business dinner, it is really common for people to bring their wives and I really don't know if I would bring my husband I mean I have no problem with my family but with my job ... it's hard... maybe I should get a beird lol...
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    Feb 14, 2012 3:05 PM GMT

    Do you have a husband?

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    Feb 14, 2012 3:07 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    Do you have a husband?



    Haha yeah maybe I'm getting ahead of things, but still I would def love to have one and bring him to business dinners without being afraid of the consequences...
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    Feb 14, 2012 3:12 PM GMT
    A_X91 said
    meninlove said
    Do you have a husband?



    Haha yeah maybe I'm getting ahead of things, but still I would def love to have one and bring him to business dinners without being afraid of the consequences...

    That's what I'm getting to, lol, be patient young Jedi.

    So, you have no husband, right?

    The I'll offer this, that you pursue your career.
    You be gay, not in-your-face, just as you are.
    Eventually you'll meet someone, those around you at work will likely know by that time you're gay and some will be happy for you. Eventually you'll go to those business dinners and surprise surprise, you may be asked to bring your partner. I've been through this, and that was back in the 70s when things were a whole lot more, er, narrow-minded.

    -Doug

    PS whereabouts, roughly, are you living?
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    Feb 14, 2012 3:15 PM GMT
    No.

    My skills are in demand and I am really good at my job.
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    Feb 14, 2012 3:16 PM GMT
    not as much as other aspects of my person.
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    Feb 14, 2012 3:19 PM GMT
    Meninlove: Thanks man, I guess everything in its own time like you say. Roughly I'm from Latin America lol icon_lol.gif

    Haaretz: Well I think I'm good too, and Ive accomplished some stuff but it's just that people can be so stupid sometimes. icon_confused.gif
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    Feb 14, 2012 3:23 PM GMT
    One of my female Co workers (who knows i'm gay) told me that there's a rumor going around my office that we're sleeping together. We haven't corrected anyone because we both think it's funny.

    I don't really like to be out at work however. I had one former Co worker who thought just because I was gay meant she could cross too many boundaries with me, and be way too inappropriate. Outside of work, I can just avoid people like that, but here i'm trapped with them, so I just don't really talk about it to anyone i'm not comfortable knowing. My company also doesn't allow significant others to work functions, so I dodge a bullet there too icon_smile.gif
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    Feb 14, 2012 3:29 PM GMT
    Hahaha I guess that Co worker wanted to be the stereotypical fag hag, FAIL.
    Thanks for the anecdote man! icon_smile.gif I guess it's better to keep it low key...
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    Feb 14, 2012 3:37 PM GMT
    Unfortunately, I have to tell you from experience that being gay will not help you, unless you want to limit yourself to the gay market.
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    Feb 14, 2012 3:39 PM GMT
    In a previous job 3 years ago I once casually remarked to a colleague that I wasn't interested in girls, since he wanted to give me tip on how to improve my chances with them. As a result, a few weeks later I got explicitly asked if I was gay by two girls working in another department. Other than that though, the subject was never raised in a work related context and now that I'm self employed, hopefully never will be.
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    Feb 14, 2012 3:44 PM GMT
    NO, my friends and co-workers only wonder why am I always in a good mood, or why I'm always trying to be an opimist. Apart from that, they don't know I'm gay.. But I try not letting that be a discretion between co-workers. I do my job to the best of my ability and then I go home knowing that I am no t in danger of being fireds, becasue I work hard. Sometimes I wanna do fun little get togethers outside of work, but then it will feel ridiculously awkward. if theres is some attractive guy in the group and you wanna be "Budds" but you come off as gay, then it is a little bit hard to prove to them your one of them. But if your lucky they could be all about you being gay...or even better, they we're gay and they tried hiding it becaause they didn't wanna scare you off. (that one happened to me lol)
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    Feb 14, 2012 3:47 PM GMT
    mars93 saidNO, my friends and co-workers only wonder why am I always in a good mood, or why I'm always trying to be an opimist. Apart from that, they don't know I'm gay.. But I try not letting that be a discretion between co-workers. I do my job to the best of my ability and then I go home knowing that I am no t in danger of being fireds, becasue I work hard. Sometimes I wanna do fun little get togethers outside of work, but then it will feel ridiculously awkward. if theres is some attractive guy in the group and you wanna be "Budds" but you come off as gay, then it is a little bit hard to prove to them your one of them. But if your lucky they could be all about you being gay...or even better, they we're gay and they tried hiding it becaause they didn't wanna scare you off. (that one happened to me lol)


    Hahaha, yeah it would suck not to be able to be "one of the guys" I mean Im gay but I still prefer talking about baseball rather than fashion you know?
    Thanks!
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    Feb 14, 2012 4:13 PM GMT
    Really depends on your career field I think (and obviously your location).

    I work in Musical Theatre, so not being gay would be weird. As one of the managers joked the other day, "We only hire gays here". Not entirely true, but close.

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    Feb 14, 2012 4:19 PM GMT
    Fiyero27 saidReally depends on your career field I think (and obviously your location).

    I work in Musical Theatre, so not being gay would be weird. As one of the managers joked the other day, "We only hire gays here". Not entirely true, but close.



    Hahaha, yeah art related jobs are easily accepting of gay people.
    My field of work is finance. Ive heard some rumours about a fair amount of gay people working in this area, however it seems like I just cant see them.
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    Feb 14, 2012 4:20 PM GMT
    Yeah but only because I spend too much time on this fricken site icon_eek.gif
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    Feb 14, 2012 4:43 PM GMT
    god help me if i ever DO manage to break into motorsports.
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    Feb 14, 2012 4:50 PM GMT
    Young_Sir saidOne of my female Co workers (who knows i'm gay) told me that there's a rumor going around my office that we're sleeping together. We haven't corrected anyone because we both think it's funny.

    I don't really like to be out at work however. I had one former Co worker who thought just because I was gay meant she could cross too many boundaries with me, and be way too inappropriate. Outside of work, I can just avoid people like that, but here i'm trapped with them, so I just don't really talk about it to anyone i'm not comfortable knowing. My company also doesn't allow significant others to work functions, so I dodge a bullet there too icon_smile.gif


    same thing happened to me with a female co-worker of mine.

    She knew I was gay, however there was a rumor we were sleeping together.
    Honestly, I couldn't have been bothered to "correct" everyone and be all "how dare u start such a viscious rumor! I'm gay!!!"

    When u start a job there will be people u are comfortable telling you're gay and people you aren't comfortable telling.

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    Feb 14, 2012 4:51 PM GMT
    A_X91 saidBut should I keep myself in the closet then? :/


    No, of course not.