Two valentines in one day?

  • iiheartwaves

    Posts: 82

    Feb 14, 2012 8:58 PM GMT
    I don't understand how i got into this situation.. well, i do. here's the cliff-notes version.

    I've been seeing this really great guy named Jason. We've been on 5 dates in the past couple of weeks. Together we work really well, both two huge goof balls that completely build off of each others energy. Neither of us have asked the other to to be their valentine but, i guess it was just assumed?

    Last night i went out and found myself in an innocent conversation with a guy. Always up to taking to strangers, they offer new perspectives and ideas. Fast forward 4 hours.. and i haven't moved. I'm still talking to this guy and i realize that i'm extremely attracted to this guy, Tyler. He is absurdly charming and passionate with every word that comes out of his mouth. And i'm really against it, i feel guilty for even talking to him now, since i'm dating someone else. But when it comes down to it... i've never experienced a more definitive moment in time of 'being swept off my feet' ...And i don't know how it happened but i somehow agreed to be his valentine.

    So here i am, valentine's afternoon. I have dinner plans with a guy i met 15 hours ago, and haven't set anything up yet or even talked plans with the guy i've been dating...

    Thoughts?
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    Feb 14, 2012 10:46 PM GMT
    Crap happens.. something similar happened to me before as well.. kind of a funny situation.. but since you're not serious with anyone yet.. its not a big deal
  • sbwlguy

    Posts: 566

    Feb 14, 2012 11:06 PM GMT
    Classic case of you wait ages for one bus then two comes along.
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    Feb 14, 2012 11:06 PM GMT
    I don't even have one icon_sad.gif
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    Feb 14, 2012 11:28 PM GMT
    I, for one, am dying to hear how this Tyler date works out...

    Have fun, and keep us posted on the outcome.

    Interesting dilemna... just be honest with yourself and both of the guys. Sometimes in life hearts get bruised. That's just the way the cookie crumbles.

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    Feb 14, 2012 11:49 PM GMT
    You just met a guy 15 hours ago and you're ditching the guy you've synced with for 5 dates for him?

    Pump the brakes a bit. Don't even see the guy from 15 hours ago. You already spent 4 hours talking to him (a stranger) on the first date. See him this weekend if you will.

    The biggest thing I hate of ALL things, more than liars, more than flakes...is a guy who shows all this interest in me, and then the SECOND another guy comes along (in many cases is nowhere near my caliber or level), they go off and try to run with them.

    And that's what you're fixing to do. And on what basis? He swept you off your feet?

    Let me ask you this, how do you know that the guy that swept you off your feet isn't just charming you up just to make sure he has a date for Valentines? People do that. I have done that. And after the holiday is over, I ditch em.
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    Feb 14, 2012 11:51 PM GMT
    Have you decided with Jason to be exclusive? If not then then its still open for both of you to see other guys. From what I read here it seems like you are more attracted to Jason as a friend and the new guy as romantic proposition.
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    Feb 15, 2012 12:22 AM GMT
    Playa playa heheh
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    Feb 15, 2012 12:57 AM GMT
    seeing a guy for 5 dates is not a long time at all. unless you're on the desperate train. tyler asked you on a date the day before valentines day and you had no plans so you said yes. i dont think that is unreasonable. if the other dude wanted to go out with you on valentines day then he wouldve asked. its not like you'll have to marry the guy after going out with him just because its valentines day. just see it as any other casual date that just so happens to land on vday. You're not committed to anyone so you should be able to do whatever you want.
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    Feb 15, 2012 2:00 AM GMT
    AvadaKedavra saidseeing a guy for 5 dates is not a long time at all. unless you're on the desperate train. tyler asked you on a date the day before valentines day and you had no plans so you said yes. i dont think that is unreasonable. if the other dude wanted to go out with you on valentines day then he wouldve asked. its not like you'll have to marry the guy after going out with him just because its valentines day. just see it as any other casual date that just so happens to land on vday. You're not committed to anyone so you should be able to do whatever you want.


    On a 2nd thought, I can kind of agree with you on that LOL. But I don't agree with the whole desperate train thing..

    I mean, the fact that neither of those 2 made plans for Valentine kinda leaves both parties wide open for another date.

    From what I was reading though, it kinda seemed OP was just jumping from one guy to the next impulsively. And 5 dates is kinda serious. I can only name 2 guys that I've gone on 5 or more dates with since 2009!

    And when you talk about 5 dates in 2 weeks, that's even more serious.

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    Feb 15, 2012 2:38 AM GMT
    It's why they call it "dating..." and not a "relationship." I've recently come to the conclusion that dating is not monogamous, it's a chance to feel someone out without being exclusive with them.

    I've always been exclusive with anyone I've ever been even talking to... and it's come back to bite me in the ass a couple of times.
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    Feb 15, 2012 2:42 AM GMT
    Squintz saidIt's why they call it "dating..." and not a "relationship." I've recently come to the conclusion that dating is not monogamous, it's a chance to feel someone out without being exclusive with them.

    I've always been exclusive with anyone I've ever been even talking to... and it's come back to bite me in the ass a couple of times.


    But monogamous means only dating 1 person at a time though..
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    Feb 15, 2012 2:44 AM GMT
    its like a PG version of one interrupting the wedding ceremony and they both run away.



    but anyway what i'm trying to say is by now Jason should now how he feel about you and he coulda take advantage of this valentine day to ask you out and show you that he wants something more.
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    Feb 15, 2012 3:04 AM GMT
    TallJock said
    Squintz saidIt's why they call it "dating..." and not a "relationship." I've recently come to the conclusion that dating is not monogamous, it's a chance to feel someone out without being exclusive with them.

    I've always been exclusive with anyone I've ever been even talking to... and it's come back to bite me in the ass a couple of times.


    But monogamous means only dating 1 person at a time though..


    Monogamy means being with only 1 person. When you're dating, you're not WITH that person until you're in a relationship.
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    Feb 15, 2012 3:12 AM GMT
    Congrats on being a greedy douchebag.
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    Feb 15, 2012 3:13 AM GMT
    It is a situation.
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    Feb 15, 2012 3:24 AM GMT
    TallJock saidYou just met a guy 15 hours ago and you're ditching the guy you've synced with for 5 dates for him?

    Pump the brakes a bit. Don't even see the guy from 15 hours ago. You already spent 4 hours talking to him (a stranger) on the first date. See him this weekend if you will.

    The biggest thing I hate of ALL things, more than liars, more than flakes...is a guy who shows all this interest in me, and then the SECOND another guy comes along (in many cases is nowhere near my caliber or level), they go off and try to run with them.

    And that's what you're fixing to do. And on what basis? He swept you off your feet?

    Let me ask you this, how do you know that the guy that swept you off your feet isn't just charming you up just to make sure he has a date for Valentines? People do that. I have done that. And after the holiday is over, I ditch em.


    Let the church say, "Amen."
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    Feb 15, 2012 3:25 AM GMT
    iiheartwaves said
    Thoughts?
    First off, congrats on an amazing situation; it'll definitely be something to look back on regardless of what happens.

    Secondly, just go for it! You only live life once and two amazing men have come into your life at an amazing time of year to have just one special person. I think you've been honest in your post about how everything happened with the second guy. I'd recommend just going with the flow, and just keep being honest about how things are and if it comes up, with the two guys as well. I have a friend seeing two guys separately, who each knows about the other guy, and things are going well with them.

    Now, if you guys end the night all together in a threesome and become a thruple, I think I'll start to hate you then ;)
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    Feb 15, 2012 3:34 AM GMT
    You slut....I worship you! J/K

    go with your feelings. don't second guess yourself.
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    Feb 15, 2012 3:44 AM GMT
    I'll take whichever one you don't choose -- OR -- maybe a three-way date??icon_twisted.gif
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    Feb 15, 2012 8:42 PM GMT
    IncognitoJock saidYou just met a guy 15 hours ago and you're ditching the guy you've synced with for 5 dates for him?

    Pump the brakes a bit. Don't even see the guy from 15 hours ago. You already spent 4 hours talking to him (a stranger) on the first date. See him this weekend if you will.

    The biggest thing I hate of ALL things, more than liars, more than flakes...is a guy who shows all this interest in me, and then the SECOND another guy comes along (in many cases is nowhere near my caliber or level), they go off and try to run with them.

    And that's what you're fixing to do. And on what basis? He swept you off your feet?

    Let me ask you this, how do you know that the guy that swept you off your feet isn't just charming you up just to make sure he has a date for Valentines? People do that.

    this ^^

    A lot of guys are easily distracted by the next shiny queen that crosses their line of sight.
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    Feb 15, 2012 9:09 PM GMT
    TellMe said
    A lot of guys are easily distracted by the next shiny queen that crosses their line of sight.


    It happened to me last night. I went out, starting chatting with this guy (but we weren't like flirting though, just informational fun chat)...but then few minutes later this other guy I never met like sits on my lap and next to him is another cute guy. The guy I was chatting with 'cock blocks', or so the guy that sat in my lap straight out told him LOL.

    Well, I was just chatting and dancing with everyone though in the vicinity. But I was trying to make sure the guy I originally talked to knew I wasn't ditching him and still gave some attention.

    But, in all my good intents; that guy disappears for a few minutes and comes back to the bar area with a different guy and they are all over each other. I wasn't mad, but it just goes to show. My mistake is I waste too much time focusing on 1 or 2 guys when I go out and I need to stop doing that.

    I'm like dammit...now I should have went ahead and did my thing with the other guys. I mean I did sorta do my thing, but I was conservative about it. But both of them work security on Fridays....so it's not over yet. They can get me after hours...
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    Feb 15, 2012 9:11 PM GMT
    "Hmm, I had none. I can haz one of urs?!"

    That's how I want to reply to this thread, but it sounds really pathetic hahaa
  • iiheartwaves

    Posts: 82

    Feb 24, 2012 11:14 PM GMT
    speedobuddy saidI, for one, am dying to hear how this Tyler date works out...

    Have fun, and keep us posted on the outcome.

    Interesting dilemna... just be honest with yourself and both of the guys. Sometimes in life hearts get bruised. That's just the way the cookie crumbles.



    So, here's how it all played out.

    Jason never asked me to be his valentine, and I never asked him to be mine. I wanted him to be updated on everything that had happened, honesty- as awkward as it sometimes may be, is always the best policy. But this is information that requires a face to face conversation. So it waited until the day after. We talked and both felt that our relationship would function best as friends. And i can tell, we will be good friends in due time.

    My Valentines date with Tyler, was something out of a movie. We made dinner together at his place with great laughs & conversation, that effortless kind you have with someone you have known for years. We've been on more than 5 dates, and I truly believe that we were both in the right place at the right time, like puzzle pieces in a big plan that nobody has any control of. Needless to say, I am completely happy icon_smile.gif
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    Feb 24, 2012 11:18 PM GMT
    You lucky duck-- you got a solid bf and now a good friend out of it-- you suck icon_razz.gif