Doesn't Like Being Touched at Bedtime

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 15, 2012 4:00 AM GMT
    You've been dating a great guy for a while and there are strong mutual feelings for each other... however...

    1. Said person your dating CANNOT fall asleep or remain that way if someone else is touching them at said time.
    2. You don't necessarily need to be touched the whole time you're in bed at night... but DO like some contact even if it's a touched limb, etc.
    3. They are very physically affectionate otherwise and can 'nap' while holding you, etc., just not when going to bed at night
    4. They have always been this way, and assure you that it has nothing to do with you. They sincerely love/care for you - and show you in many other ways, both physically and non.
    5. When they wake up in the morn they have no problem touching you intimately or otherwise.

    Are any of you this way - or have partners that behave this way? Please answer honestly. This is not about judgments - I'm just curious to know how you would deal with it.

    How might you react to dating this person - and sleeping in the same bed with them? I appreciate your honest and helpful answers. Thanks.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 15, 2012 4:05 AM GMT
    Unfortunately I can not be held accountable for my actions while I sleep!

    So, if I cuddle you up into my arms while I'm asleep and you can't sleep like that, sorry go sleep in another bed.

    If I try making moves on you while I'm asleep which I have done before.. well.. you'd better either want it or you better sleep elsewhere hahaha

    but no, never dealt with htat, although have dealt with a guy who was TOO affectionate while sleeping.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Feb 15, 2012 5:58 AM GMT
    I like to cuddle but definitely cannot fall asleep in a guy's arms unless I am drunk or something. Mostly because I overheat way to easily. Another reason is cause I move around alot before I can get to sleep comfortably.

    I usually have to sleep facing away from my guy.. I do like to rub asses though lol.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 15, 2012 6:04 AM GMT
    I'm exactly like that. My sleep time is completely private and independent. Don't touch me, don't make noise, don't move around and don't snore. We can cuddle for 10 hours before bedtime if you want but when it's time to sleep it's business.
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    Feb 15, 2012 6:06 AM GMT
    I always want to be touching. I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night, if Dan isn't in my arms i pull him in. He wakes for a moment then goes back to sleep in my arms. He doesn't mind at all. Other times, I will wake to him getting closer to me. I always let him and smile before going back to bed. Just how we roll I guess.
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    Feb 15, 2012 6:34 AM GMT
    That guy sounds like me. I'm not a big fan of falling asleep in someones arms. I over heat easily, toss around a lot, and it's just not comfortable for me. Cut him some slack. If this is his only major gripe, consider yourself lucky.
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    Feb 15, 2012 6:40 AM GMT
    I love to cuddle, even at night... but realistically when I cuddle with someone at night I'm constantly waking up throughout the night because someone moved or body heat was too much and you wake up all sweaty. It sounds nice, but for some of us, we just want to sleep throughout the night and then wake up and cuddle in the morning icon_smile.gif
  • tyler_helm

    Posts: 299

    Feb 15, 2012 6:42 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidIf this guy is being sincere and honest it just sounds like this might be his one odd quirk.

    We all have them. icon_smile.gif


    It is hard when some ones honesty counteracts to what one desires.

    But yes quirks all got them.
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    Feb 15, 2012 6:54 AM GMT
    TheBizMan saidI like to cuddle but definitely cannot fall asleep in a guy's arms unless I am drunk or something. Mostly because I overheat way to easily. Another reason is cause I move around alot before I can get to sleep comfortably.

    I usually have to sleep facing away from my guy.. I do like to rub asses though lol.

    I'm like this but I think it's something you have to get use to. I'm trying hard with my bf because I love to cuddle and so want to fall asleep with my arms around him.

    What I do find is that spooning with him as the big spoon and me in front makes it easier for me to fall asleep. I also sometimes open the blankets so as to not over heat from his body.
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    Feb 15, 2012 7:04 AM GMT
    TheBizMan saidI like to cuddle but definitely cannot fall asleep in a guy's arms unless I am drunk or something. Mostly because I overheat way to easily. Another reason is cause I move around alot before I can get to sleep comfortably.

    I usually have to sleep facing away from my guy.. I do like to rub asses though lol.

    +1
    Its not that I dont want to fall asleep that way just isnt going to happen
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    Feb 15, 2012 7:10 AM GMT
    I like to spoon, but sometimes it's just too hot. And I do have to roll around somewhat in the night.

    A couple of times I woke up with my arm pinned under a guy and it was turning blue because all circulation had been cut off for some unknown time. I had to either shove him away or chew off my arm at the shoulder.
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Feb 15, 2012 7:29 AM GMT
    I'm this way, too, OP. The stimulation of someone placing their hands palm down on my bare skin keeps me from falling asleep and some nights I'm too restless to even stand having someone hold me over the blankets. Luckily my husband usually tires before I do, so I let him hold me and just enjoy it and "wait him out". On those rare days when I'm exhausted, he knows the signs and doesn't try it. Strangely, the reverse is not the case. I can spoon him and fall asleep that way, as can he as long as I'm not constricting his movement.
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    Feb 15, 2012 7:57 AM GMT
    I have to have my space when I sleep.

    I find spontaneous middle of the night sex a huge turn-on, but if it's not foreplay then I prefer not to be touched while I'm sleeping.

    I've literally had guys "chase" me all around the bed trying to cuddle when I was trying to sleep.

    This is a deal breaker, or a slight annoyance?
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    Feb 15, 2012 8:07 AM GMT
    i don't like cuddling when i am sleeping if i have to wake up early the next day. i am a very light sleeper so the lightest movement and sound will wake me up. i also have a hard time going back to sleep.

    if i have to wake up at 7am for work i would like to be able to have at least 6 hours of sleep or else i'll be miserably sleepy through the entire day.

    i like to cuddle before bed but when its time to sleep i move over to my side of the bed and knock out. if you get close and wake me up i'll push you away. if you don't stop i will slap you across the face and have a taser gun ready in the other hand incase things get violent.
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    Feb 15, 2012 8:08 AM GMT
    I have something like that. I usually cannot sleep right up next to someone unless exhausted or drunk. It just can't happen. I have to turn or something. icon_sad.gif
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    Feb 15, 2012 8:15 AM GMT
    AvadaKedavra said if you don't stop i will slap you across the face and have a taser gun ready in the other hand incase things get violent.


    Yeah but after all that sex play what do prefer in terms of sleeping?
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    Feb 15, 2012 8:50 AM GMT
    My guy is exactly like this. He cant fall asleep if being held or touched, not even a hand resting on his arm.
    The problem is that when he is left alone he always works himself into a position where he starts snoring.
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    Feb 15, 2012 11:10 AM GMT
    When it's time to sleep it's time to sleep and I don't want to be touched. I just can't sleep at night when I'm being touched, cuddled or chased around the bed. It is just a distraction. If I get a good night's sleep then I am all for a kiss and cuddle and play first thing in the morning icon_biggrin.gif

    I can however have the occasional weekend afternoon nap cuddled up with my partner.
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    Feb 15, 2012 11:17 AM GMT
    That would kind of suck for us both because I'm kind of a cuddler mysel. I can understand being seperate while finally passing out but then again my ex & I would fall asleep while holding each other so... It happens. I'm not sure what I would do. I'd need to be in the situation.
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    Feb 15, 2012 11:28 AM GMT
    I'm the opposite... I'm basically an octopus in bed, but I generate alot of body heat and eventually have to disengage and find a cool spot to sleep on.
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    Feb 15, 2012 11:57 AM GMT
    I also cannot fall asleep if someone is touching me. Besides, it gets too hot and sweaty. I tend to sprawl out all over the bed when I sleep, and I don't like feeling restricted in any way in bed.I think your "friend" is like me. He obviously loves you, so respect his space when he's asleep.
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    Feb 15, 2012 12:55 PM GMT
    TheBizMan saidI like to cuddle but definitely cannot fall asleep in a guy's arms unless I am drunk or something. Mostly because I overheat way to easily. Another reason is cause I move around alot before I can get to sleep comfortably.

    I usually have to sleep facing away from my guy.. I do like to rub asses though lol.


    THIS
    except i dont really like cuddling. but i'm getting more and more used to it
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 15, 2012 12:55 PM GMT
    TheBizMan saidI like to cuddle but definitely cannot fall asleep in a guy's arms unless I am drunk or something. Mostly because I overheat way to easily. Another reason is cause I move around alot before I can get to sleep comfortably.

    I usually have to sleep facing away from my guy.. I do like to rub asses though lol.



    i'm the exact same way
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 15, 2012 1:04 PM GMT
    I can cuddle while falling asleep. I tend to push my boyfriend away at night. Mainly because his bed is so different than my own and I toss and turn because it is a hard one and tightens up my back..
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    Feb 15, 2012 1:40 PM GMT
    Buy (or make) a modestly-sized teddy bear! No, really! Doesn't have to be a bear exactly, but something you both like that's more animate in appearance than just a big pillow.

    Part of the discomfort, while the body warmth is good, comes from the inability of the human body to be stationary during hours of uninterrupted sleep. When he can't cuddle or offer intimate touch at night, he can cling to something warm, cuddly, and steady beside him... with some extra comfort gained knowing it is there courtesy of you.