What's the matta?

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    Feb 15, 2012 6:53 AM GMT
    28 years old: never been on a date, never kissed, never had any sort of relationship status, never actually had a conversion with a Guy about me being gay face to face. Wth is wrong with me?

    Since everyone I know went on a date tonight for Valentine's day it just got me thinking about it.

    I know I'm shy but I think its also fear of taking the first step.

    Sigh*
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    Feb 15, 2012 2:18 PM GMT
    sanjose470 said28 years old: never been on a date, never kissed, never had any sort of relationship status, never actually had a conversion with a Guy about me being gay face to face. Wth is wrong with me?

    Since everyone I know went on a date tonight for Valentine's day it just got me thinking about it.

    I know I'm shy but I think its also fear of taking the first step.

    Sigh*


    Just a hunch, but you might be getting a little crowded by your existing set of friends. Supporting and helping them with their varied needs and interests may crowd out yours, especially if they're not contributing in kind. If so, try to communicate a need for a little space during your free time.

    I wouldn't suggest looking to RJ for matches if you were in some faraway locale, but I can't imagine there's not one good guy for you in the SiliValley area on here. Strike up more platonic chats with local guys on here and decide if you want to meet more formally after a few chats.

    One other thought... if you're not doing so already, is to consider putting in some volunteer time at local LGBT-supportive places like the DeFrank Center. Probably plenty of supportive people there, plus you'll make a difference for others, and there's probably some pretty good avenues to find dates with fellow gay fans of Sharks/Quakes/MMA/cycling/W's/Niners/etc.
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    Feb 15, 2012 4:17 PM GMT
    You scared bro?
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    Feb 15, 2012 4:22 PM GMT
    Are you out of the closet?
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    Feb 15, 2012 4:26 PM GMT
    Sanhose, dayumm (who I greatly admire) is worth listening to.

    I also think he'd be a great guy for you to talk to, to get familiar with talking about yourself being gay. icon_wink.gif

    warmly,

    -Doug
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    Feb 15, 2012 4:42 PM GMT
    meninlove said Sanhose, dayumm (who I greatly admire) is worth listening to.

    I also think he'd be a great guy for you to talk to, to get familiar with talking about yourself being gay. icon_wink.gif

    warmly,

    -Doug


    **turns purple from blushing** Thank you Doug! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 15, 2012 8:58 PM GMT
    My group of friends aren't the most helping when dealing with this type issue, you're right. I sometimes put others before myself. In regards to being scared bro, I think it has to do with putting myself out there. I'm working on it though. Creating a profile on RJ was a big step for me, I was a little hesitant but I'm glad I did. My close friends know I'm gay but that's about it and you guys icon_smile.gif
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    Feb 15, 2012 9:10 PM GMT
    Go to the Billy DeFrank center on The Alemeda in San Jose. It's a gay community center. (I can walk to it from my little gayborhood.) Volunteer for anything that interests you. You'll meet people who you can talk to and you'll be doing something useful at the same time. Besides, by volunteering, you don't have to talk until you want to and when you decide you're ready, you'll be surrounded by 'family'.

    I don't know where you live in SJ but the center is near the Hanchett Park/Rose Garden areas.
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    Feb 15, 2012 9:21 PM GMT
    Ill try to check them out.