Some strange new friends

  • manny_89

    Posts: 45

    Feb 15, 2012 3:59 PM GMT
    I didnt know where to post this so here it goes...

    I just started going to college, me and 2 of my girlfriends are always together (I have known them for years) Everyone seems to be nice and friendly, but there is a little problem. ME, it's always been hard for me to make new friends, I am kinda the type of person that doesnt talk when I am around people that I don't know. So how am I supposed to make new friends if I dont talk to them? icon_lol.gif and besides my hyperhidrosis isnt helping either. Any advice for this?
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    Feb 15, 2012 4:26 PM GMT
    Only one solution to this Mr Manny.You have to force yourself to talk.Stay away from controversial topics.Just talk about your experiences depending on the group you are with.Crack a few jokes.If you are going out try and buy some cool new clothes and dress to impress.I hated school and when I went back to college I had to talk to myself each day before I went into the classroom.Sometimes you gotta force your self.Good Luck!Ryan
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Feb 15, 2012 4:30 PM GMT
    manny1989 saidI didnt know where to post this so here it goes...

    I just started going to college, me and 2 of my girlfriends are always together (I have known them for years) Everyone seems to be nice and friendly, but there is a little problem. ME, it's always been hard for me to make new friends, I am kinda the type of person that doesnt talk when I am around people that I don't know. So how am I supposed to make new friends if I dont talk to them? icon_lol.gif and besides my hyperhidrosis isnt helping either. Any advice for this?
    Alcohol helps. ha ha ha Try talking to a therapist
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    Feb 15, 2012 4:32 PM GMT
    Meh. Give it time, buddy. You'll make some friends. This is something you can't force but you can take charge of. One of two things will happen: You'll either be approached by someone who finds you interesting for whatever reason and spark up a nice conversation that will blossom into something special or you'll get tired of not having friends and step outside your bubble and do something about it. Keep the floor on topics open and don't shy away. You're in college so group projects are sure to be the norm. Use those as an opportunity to get to know classmates and hopefully they'll turn into friends. Get active and get noticed.

    Again, give it time.

    Best of luck.
  • Rawrdo

    Posts: 343

    Feb 15, 2012 4:33 PM GMT
    I'm not sure if this the same for all colleges/universities, but most of the time they have student organizations (they don't have to necessarily be fraternities) that you could join. After I started to attend several different ones, I slowly became more used to interacting with strangers and met several different friends I'm actually very close with. Then again, if that's too much for you I suppose you could start baby steps and talk to your neighbors in class (assuming they normally are the same people that sit next to you). You could talk about how you love/loath the teacher, or about tests/assignments you had. Heck even ask for a pencil/pen. Good luck!
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    Feb 15, 2012 4:50 PM GMT
    First off, I'm the shy type, but I managed to make lots friends in college in the end, so it's not impossible. You have to put yourself in situations where you can get to know people in a less superficial way. Join organizations and be active in them. I joined my program's home org.. right there, you already have people you have something in common with. Going through your program is an experience only you and your cohorts share and you can draw from that. Choose orgs too that interest you. when you're in them, don't just be a spectator, volunteer! Join a team where building camaraderie comes natural. It doesn't have to be sports if that's not your thing. I did debate icon_razz.gif and pingpong. It's all about spending time and creating opportunities for you to get to know people. Parties are fine, but people tend to hang with their cliques. Orgs, in my opinion, are better because you have no choice but to work together and get to know each other. This goes for group assignments in class too. You'll have lots of these experiences! Make the most out of them.
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    Feb 15, 2012 5:01 PM GMT
    Go to class naked. That's a great conversation starter. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 15, 2012 6:59 PM GMT
    the first question is, are you out as a gay man? If so, this should make it pretty easy for you on a college campus. There are organizations and even frats for homosexuals that you can join, and just take it from there. It will come easy.

    If you are not, then it might become a bit more challenging for you. You can still join organizations that share your same interests.
  • manny_89

    Posts: 45

    Feb 16, 2012 6:12 PM GMT
    Guy101 saidMeh. Give it time, buddy. You'll make some friends. This is something you can't force but you can take charge of. One of two things will happen: You'll either be approached by someone who finds you interesting for whatever reason and spark up a nice conversation that will blossom into something special or you'll get tired of not having friends and step outside your bubble and do something about it. Keep the floor on topics open and don't away. You're in college so groups project are sure to to the norm. Use those as an opportunity to get to know classmates and hopefully they'll turn into friends. Get active and get noticed.

    Again, give it time.

    Best of luck.


    Thank you so much! There are no organization or anything like that, I guess like you said, eventually I will get tired of it thats provably the only way I will step out of my comfort zone. icon_wink.gif
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    Feb 16, 2012 6:26 PM GMT
    There is always an organization of some sort in your area. You just gotta look is all. You'll have the class projects to do and that's always a good way to meet people. You hang around your girlfriends so that's a start and I'm sure they'll introduce you to some people. "Oh hey! I'd like you to meet my friend so-n-so" or something like that. Happens all the time.

    Just have to give it time. Don't rely on your friends for this to happen though. You gotta put forth some effort as well. You just need a nice little boost of confidence is all since you are in a new environment. Before you went to college I'm sure you had friends. Think about how you made them. Also note that there are others just like you starting college who are probably in the same boat as you so use that fact to your advantage and as a way to meet others. College is just an adult form of high school after all.

    You'll be fine. Before the semester ends you'll make some friends. You also have the option of making some online friends too. It's not quite the same as a having a physical presence to go watch a movie with or get lunch with but it's not bad. Create a facebook profile and go from there. Something might spark your interests.
  • manny_89

    Posts: 45

    Feb 17, 2012 4:42 AM GMT
    thank you! that makes me feel better! I know I shouldnt relay on my current friends, those bitches will eventually want to mess around there! haha I know in the end I will be okay, its just the beggining of something new for me
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    Feb 17, 2012 5:24 AM GMT
    I'm a chronic transfer student, and I have transferred schools almost every single semester, so I know what you're going through. Its hard to meet friends in college because you grow up with your friends from high school, and then all of a sudden you need to learn how to leave your comfort zone and meet new people. Thats the only way you can do it though. You have to put yourself out there. There has to be some sort of club on your campus that you find interesting. Go to one of their meetings. I always make friends when I do this. Sit next to someone you think looks interesting in class and strike up a conversation. Just say something about the professor or an assignment or something. If you click you'll only stop talking when the professor starts. When you go out with friends do the same thing. Just find something to say, and say it. Before you know it you and the person you're talking to will be in a full on conversation. And nowadays with facebook and cell phones all you have to get is their last name or their cellphone number, and you can contact them later to make plans, or just to say hey.

    Making new friends makes EVERYONE nervous. No one likes popping that bubble and facing rejection, but you need to ask yourself what is the worst thing they could do? Just not act like they want to talk to you is pretty much the worst thing possible, and if they're REALLY rude then you probabaly don't want to get to know them anyway. icon_smile.gif
  • manny_89

    Posts: 45

    Feb 17, 2012 5:49 AM GMT
    Chad2468Emr saidSit next to someone you think looks interesting in class and strike up a conversation. Just say something about the professor or an assignment or something. If you click you'll only stop talking when the professor starts. When you go out with friends do the same thing. Just find something to say, and say it. Before you know it you and the person you're talking to will be in a full on conversation. icon_smile.gif


    You know what you are talking about! icon_rolleyes.gif You are awesome! thank you!
  • manny_89

    Posts: 45

    Mar 02, 2012 6:07 AM GMT
    Just an update on this

    One of the girls I used to hang out with is not longer my friend! She turned to be a stupid bitch! So I had to force myself to get along with other people and is going great icon_biggrin.gif It's not that bad icon_redface.gificon_lol.gif
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    Mar 02, 2012 6:14 AM GMT
    manny_89 saidJust an update on this

    One of the girls I used to hang out with is not longer my friend! She turned to be a stupid bitch! So I had to force myself to get alone with other people and is going great icon_biggrin.gif It's not that bad icon_redface.gificon_lol.gif


    Good for you. Sometimes certain things have to happen in order to force you out of your comfort zone. Sorry about your friend, or ex-friend, but you're getting new ones. Yay for you!!
  • manny_89

    Posts: 45

    Mar 02, 2012 7:55 PM GMT
    EastCoastNAZ said
    manny_89 saidJust an update on this

    One of the girls I used to hang out with is not longer my friend! She turned to be a stupid bitch! So I had to force myself to get alone with other people and is going great icon_biggrin.gif It's not that bad icon_redface.gificon_lol.gif


    Good for you. Sometimes certain things have to happen in order to force you out of your comfort zone. Sorry about your friend, or ex-friend, but you're getting new ones. Yay for you!!


    YES! I am getting new friends and much more =)

    So I guess it takes time. Hopefully by the end of the semester I will know everyone! Yesterday I went on my way to restroom and someone asked me "There is no homework for today right? and I was like "I dont think so" and He told me: We are in the same class I have seen you there. and I was thinking SHIT! I havent seen this guy! then I realized he was there! SO icon_redface.gif